cabbagepreacher posts
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Chapter №2 – Hungarian Maid Tutoring
The sun shines, the birds sing, and Boris? Boris likes to take a nap. He’d take a nap forever if not for the fact that he eventually gets hungry like any other human being.For the first time in a while, Boris managed to lazily stretch his arms and rub his eyes without having to run away from artillery shells. He’d have nothing to lament, if not for the fact that he was stuck in a body not of his own. That still felt weird for him, something w...
Chapter №1 – To Our Beautiful Montenegro?
BANG!“Milye Burasika! Leebliye’ya! See en leebliye’ya!”…God, is that you?Crash, crackle!…God’s speaking a weird language that I can’t get. It sounds vaguely Hungarian, must be Hungarian if it sounds like gibberish. God, why are you Hungarian?Boris watched as a woman, clearly scared from him, ran out of the room and caused quite the mess. A vase had been shattered, along with a few porcelain cups that sat next to the bed. He squint...
Prologue – Long live King Nicholas, rest in peace(s) Private Boris!
CONTENT WARNING: Modern warfare, of the World War I kind, and the horrible things that come along with it. It's nothing too explicitly graphic, and it'll be contained to the prologue chapter.====8 January 1916Mount Lovćen, Kingdom of Montenegro“…and it’s another tie. Uhm, c’est égalité!”“Mon Dieu! Is that what those French guys would say?”“How are we managing to constantly get ties? These cards must be cursed or somethi...
Chapter LIX – Their lingo is discussed upon.
42nd of Summer, 5859Outskirts of Libertycave, Mount Curry“My legs, o’ my poor legs… O’ gods above and below bring me help…”“Sir… Mister Watanabe, we’ve only done one round.”Shinasi and Watanabe, the newly recruited otherworlder, were doing their rounds around the outskirts of Libertycave as they now usually did early in the morning. Compared to Shinasi, a robust bloke who had spent a lot of his time either working on the field...
Chapter LVIII – Their ambush is proceeding on.
Bugles call, the drums rage… or they would if not for the fact that this was supposed to be an ambush. Anybody that had more than three brain cells could see that sounding bugles wasn’t productive to covert operations.Sir Baha was a man that had a couple more brain cells than three, and he had made preparations which amounted to more than not sounding bugles. He was clever enough to see that the blame would eventually fall upon him, the only ...
Patreon, and it's 'enshittification'
Hello good fellows, ye who art subscribed to mine and others' Patreon and ye few who art not subscribed but follow me here nonetheless.You might have noticed the little UI changes that have happened here and there. Now the whole bloody thing looks like a mobile app even on PC. Unfortunately, we're in the modern age, an era wherein every social media wants to go Musk-side and enshittify itself for some Brassica Prima-damned reason (the UI ...
Chapter LVII – Their army is marching on.
41st of Summer, 5859Earlywatch Estate, Outskirts of CasamonuIt was supposed to be a simple mission. March the retinue onward; apprehend the traitorous duke as ordered by Count Leon.Seven days had passed since the beginning of his special military deployment however, and Sir Korvus had yet to see even a brief glimpse of the man he was supposed to be looking for. Korvus was a clever man, clever enough to smell something fishy from a mile away, but ...
Chapter LVI – He that is without a defense against us.
39th of Summer, 5859Libertycave, Mount CurryTextiles: They’re an old human tradition from the Neolithic to the John Brownitic. Getting a fresh pair of trousers, whether these trousers be from the pelt of the long-extinct mammoth or the long-extant silkworm, is a time-honored tradition that is most likely to continue as long as trousers are in fashion. Then the next thing will be fashionable until trousers are back in fashion until they aren’t...
Chapter LV – He that is without justification among us.
34th of Summer, 5859Earlywatch Estate, Outskirts of CasamonuNominally, it was a quiet summer day outside of the Earlywatch estate. It was a quiet day in general for most of Gemeinplatz, like many other days in the rural areas. Some birds chirped, some grass rustled, and every human person got to work in order to fulfill their obligations to their lord. Whether it be the lowliest peasants walking to the fields in order to produce grain to pay thei...
Chapter LIV – He that is without a cause among you.
(Update: Added a sentence in one of the beginning paragraphs to mention what actually happened to the cloth they bought."She watched as Brown and his company dragged along a cart full of textiles and dropped it in front of her. A group of freemen immediately descended upon the cart, taking the goods to fashion them into whatever they needed.")32th of Summer, 5859Libertycave, Mount CurryWhile going up Mount Curry, one might take notice of ...
Chapter LIII – He that is without a clue among you.
30th of Summer, 5859Outskirts of the City of Casamonu, CasamonuA fire raged on. Not a metaphorical one, an actual fire raged on the side of the highway as an errant group had met up to have a rest. Rabanowicz put her steel fire striker back into her satchel and sat on the ground along with the trio she had invited. “By Kiyelm, I’ll have ye all know that we truly have no idea where we are currently located. Except for the fact that this place ...
Untitled WWI Soldier Otome Isekai Project
UPDATE (28.08.2023): I've finished the cover art. Unfortunately it looks nothing like the "dime-a-dozen Korean otome isekai manhwa" look that I wish I could properly do for authenticity's sake, but I'd still say that this cover art is decent enough on its own (maybe I'll use some of my Patreon money to commission a more cliché cover art for this in the future). This cover already made me feel inspired, so I might write th...
Chapter LII – He that is without weaponry among you.
In the depths of some nondescript forest in the middle of Northern Gemeinplatz, a trio of people were in trouble. Ranging from John Brown the 19th century radical abolitionist to Ayomide the 59th century magical catgirl abolitionist, theirs was quite the diverse group to be in trouble. Surrounded by eleven men who looked like what would happen if the unholy union between a generic low-level JRPG baddie and a generic WRPG bandit mob met and fell i...
Chapter L – Escape from there quickly and be free.
NOTICE: I've done my best to keep up with a two-chapter-a-week, but real life has made this impossible for me. I apologize for getting your hopes up, and I'll be going back to a one-chapter-a-week release schedule as was before.====29th of Summer, 5859Casamonu, Casamonu (Casamonu)It was approaching night, and Shinasi had one huge wrench stuck into the works of his plan to go on a dinner date with Ayomide:“No sir, we don’t allow darksk...
Chapter XLIX – Walk before them faithfully and be hidden.
29th of Summer, 5859Adventurer’s Guild of Casamonu, Casamonu“Mmh… Is it morning or not?” Morning had come, and the sun wasn’t shining on anyone’s faces. Not out of any weather-related or supernatural reasons, but out of the fact that the adventurer’s guild in Casamonu had bricked up its windows. Glass was expensive, and a “window tax” had been implemented pretty recently by the count making having needless windows a bother for b...
Chapter XLVIII – Be frisked here carefully and act innocent.
28-29th of Summer, 5859Adventurer’s Guild of Casamonu, Casamonu (where else would it be?)Up on the second floor of the adventurer’s guild building, Brown and co. had lodged themselves firmly in the cheapest straw bedding imaginable to man. The “Adventurer’s Guild” wasn’t an all-encompassing international institution like it is in other otherworlds, instead being independent organizations regulating (or throttling) business like any ot...
Chapter XLVII – Speak before her carefully and be inconspicuous.
Brown wasn’t a stranger to conducting shady business; the Beecher’s Bibles didn’t ship themselves. The laws of men, like tariffs, were below the laws of the Lord, like abolition. Judging from all the maps in the room, and what had prompted Shinasi to bring him here, Brown had a guess as to what this place might be. “Is this something like a smuggler’s den?”“No, we’re a charity taking care of stray kittens. We sometimes invite Shin...
Chapter XLVI – March before me faithfully and be inconspicuous.
“…that’s why we went all the way around to the Southern gate?” Ayomide couldn’t help but look upwards to the ceiling while passing through the gate. The stone gate and the two-stories-tall wall that surrounded it looked quite impressive to say the least. She could see more guards watch them through slits in the ceiling.“Yes, Mr. Bob is famous for being lax. Anyone in the know makes sure to go through him.” Shinasi looked back at Bil...
Chapter XLV – Walk before me faithfully and be blameless.
28th of Summer, 5859Yellowclover Village, Outskirts of the City of CasamonuHaving slept in caves, mud huts and the great outdoors, the simple wool bedding courtesy of Shinasi Sr. felt like the clouds of Heaven for everyone involved. Brown’s back wasn’t aching for the first time in three months, Ayomide didn’t mutter a few curses while waking up and Shinasi… He hadn’t managed to get sleep as he was too busy catching up with his family du...
Chapter XLIV – Visitors in the midst of a city.
27th of Summer, 5859Imperial Highway №04-765, Outskirts of the City of CasamonuJohn Brown was done with giant death robots, giant death onions, anything to do with large sizes. Unfortunately for old Brown, he was en route to a large city, the largest one in Casamonu and the namesake of the county in fact. Its presence could be felt even if the city was far away: the desire path was suddenly cut off by a paved road leading to the city. It was qu...
Chapter XLIII – Mortals in the midst of a mystery.
The room was ever so silent, even after Brown’s question as it received no answers. Vines still coiled, the green fluid inside the glass sphere pulsated and old Brown sat and pondered. Everything he had seen up to that point, even Ayomide’s seemingly miraculous healing magic, had made a modicum of sense to him. This place? This place was a whole different thing compared to magical catgirls suddenly healing John Brown’s arm. It just made no ...
Chapter XLII – Flesh in the midst of metal.
I forgot to make an announcement on Patreon, but the John Brown Isekai will now have two chapters released per week instead of the usual one. JBI ahoy!The bricks of the dungeon crackled once more as the metal threads began rotating once more. Crack, crackle and a snap, the giant death robot marched on towards Ayomide and Shinasi once more.Shinasi had to quickly sidestep once more to avoid the crazed machine. “What does this thing have against u...
Chapter XLI – Men in the midst of grey bricks.
Lots of bricks. A whole lot more gray. Blue bits of battered slime. A little bit more gray. The essence of an insignificant, minor dungeon as the one that Brown and co had found themselves in could be described as such.“So, this is it, young man?” Brown looked around the aforementioned scene while their unexpected guests did their best to psychologically recover from being slimed so suddenly. “I must say, these ‘dungeons’ seem to be qui...
Chapter XL – Men in the midst of troubles.
Dungeons. A stable in RPGs ever since the aptly named Dungeons & I-Don’t-Want-the-Pinkertons-Coming-After-Me-So-I-Won’t-Infringe-On-Copyright (which, funnily enough, the [in]famous Pinkertons were established 9 years before old John Brown got isekai’d; they’d later act as personal bodyguards for Abraham Lincoln and conduct acts of espionage against the Confederates). Places of endless loot, confusing map layouts, and grindy enemies that r...
Illustrations for Touhou Futsuudou
I don't even know if anyone on my Patreon reads this one, as far as I've observed my Patrons have only come from the John Brown Isekai. Still, here are the illustrations for my Touhou fanfic project in case anyone's interested, up to chapter 21 (note: Chapter 21 was drawn by crowooze, not me, though that was probably obvious from the quality).This post will be periodically updated like the John Brown Isekai illustrations post.
Chapter XXXIX – Men in the midst of trees.
27th of Summer, 5859Outskirts of Mount Curry, CasamonuTrees. They’re quite the common sight, unless you’re in Hell. Or Heaven. Or a metropolis. Or space. Or in a black hole. Thinking about it, trees aren’t a common sight at all for a lot of people. Thankfully, Gemeinplatz in its northern parts were chock full of trees that mass deforestation would be impossible without an Industrial Revolution of sorts. For miles the ocean of green stretche...
Chapter XXXVIII – Folk in the midst of planning.
24rd of Summer, 5859Libertycave, Mount CurryTrees. They’re quite the common sight, unless you’re in the Arctic. Or the desert. Or the tundra. Or in the middle of the ocean. Or in a city. Thinking about it, trees aren’t a common sight at all for a lot of people. Thankfully, Gemeinplatz in its northern parts were chock full of trees that even the American pioneers couldn’t even begin considering cutting it all down. For miles the ocean of g...
Chapter XXXVII – Sheep in the midst of wolves.
Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.- Matthew 10:16Like they had done so many a time before, the freemen of Mount Curry had gathered. Not to throw a party or anything of that sort, there wasn’t enough of anything to throw even the lamest of parties. Cramped together in and outside the cave, some sitting on the looted couches while others preferred not to seat themselv...
Chapter XXXVI – Be swift my folk, to organize ourselves!
23rd of Summer, 5859Mount Curry, Casamonu / AzdavayCivilization, the human kind that we know of, has an interesting property in that its growth is exponential. If one were to jump one millennium from 50,000 BC to 49,000 BC, one would see the same scenery: humans barely figuring out how to light a fire. But if one were to jump the same distance from 1000 AD to 2000 AD, one would switch from gallant knights on horseback to gallant thermonuclear war...
Chapter XXXV – Be swift my mouth, to order them!
“…you lost men?”“Yes sir.”“To a bunch of barely equipped slaves?”“Yes sir- No, actually, we lost the captain to the cultivators. So not all of us were killed by slaves.”“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”Kim Seong-Min really wanted to send his head crashing down to the desk from the second-hand embarrassment he felt. He sufficed by making his hand crash down on his face, damaging office equipment would only make his f...
