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Who am I really? This question rings in my head, although I ..
🕑 Added 2024-11-07 14:20:32 +0000 UTCWho am I really? This question rings in my head, although I rarely say it out loud. Being myself has always been a difficult task, because I used to hide behind the image of being strong and independent. This independence appeared in childhood, when loneliness became the norm, and I learned the rule: everything depends on me. Growing up alone left a mark, and now it's hard for me to open up to people. It happens that I feel like a stranger in a crowd, as if there is an invisible wall between me and others. I'm smiling on the outside, but inside I have the same insecurity and thirst for understanding that has been with me since childhood.
Sometimes I wonder what defines my personality, why I am the way I am. Perhaps the whole point is that I've always been on my own, tried not to cause trouble, got used to the idea that openness makes me more vulnerable. Therefore, now that I look independent and strong, it is not just an image, it is a personal protection, a part of me, without which I can no longer imagine myself. But this is also a problem, because the higher I build my walls, the more lonely I feel.
I'm not looking for sympathy, but I crave recognition, I crave people to see me as more than just a smile. I want someone to understand that behind this smile there are questions and worries. Sometimes it seems to me that this aspiration will never be achieved, that no one will be able to see what is inside me. That's why I continue to stay in the shadows, but I'm always ready to help others when they need me. This is my way of seeking recognition — through the support of others, through trying to be a light for those who feel as lost as I once felt myself.
Ironically, I find it makes sense to help others. My confession is to be helpful to those who face loneliness or fears. If my actions can change someone's life even a little bit, give someone the feeling that they are not alone, it's worth it. I know what it means to be lost, and now I want to show others that there is a way out.
Maybe for someone I'm just a girl who used to smile even when the storm was raging inside. But for myself, I am a person who fights every day for my place in this world, a person who, despite my fears, tries to be noticed and understood. I am looking for my place and I believe that one day I will be able to find it.
I'm super grateful for all the love and support, thanks a million! 💖
