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An update for you all: The past few weeks have been hard. I..
🕑 Added 2023-12-12 18:04:14 +0000 UTC An update for you all:The past few weeks have been hard. I got myself into a terrible situation back in August which ultimately caused me to lose my yoga teaching jobs…an income i truly needed. This page, is just a small source of income and i am aware of that amount of work i have given myself with opening up customs for 20 people…
But this situation i got entangled in…was with a few narcissists. Im not just saying these people just have narcissistic traits, it’s truly who they are. And i have never experienced this kind of mental abuse from another human…my entire fucking life. Its terrifying. I have been frozen in fear so much these past few weeks…and not fear for my physical safety but for fear of my mental health. Yesterday, was the breaking point.
Yesterday, was the most triggering day with one of these people where i physically felt so unsafe and we were only speaking via text messages. And because of this event, and the events from the past few months…i have been struggling. Financially, emotionally. Mentally. I have been belittled, i have been invalidated, blamed, shamed, guilted…to the point where i do not believe i deserve anything g good to happen to me. My self worth is non existent. I have no love for myself…all because a few people can’t hold themselves accountable and have placed all blame onto me.
I’m sharing all of this because i know i have work to do for you. And i swear to you i will get to it. I swear it. But my mental health this entire year has broke. I am broken. And i am trying so hard to stay afloat and i know i need this source of income and your support…but im energetically fucking drained. It is hard for me to feel myself, feel confident and sexy in myself…because of these past few months of gaslighting and manipulation.
So i truly appreciate your patience as i am simply trying to stay alive at this point…and i have all of your customs noted, it’s all saved…im doing my best, i promise. But right this very moment i dont know how to perform for you all authentically while feeling this way.
Thank you thank you thank you for not giving up on me…and for sticking around and continuing to support me. I wont ever lie to you all, i just need a little time to reset my nervous system to not be terrified of leaving my apartment…to get off the couch..to eat food and breathe fresh air outside.
I have not forgotten work needs to be done here…i just ask for a little respect considering the situations happening in my real life.
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