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For the day of my birthday I recorded my answer to a questio..
🕑 Added 2024-11-20 12:00:14 +0000 UTCFor the day of my birthday I recorded my answer to a question they asked on my tumblr blog: "Whats your fat story? like what made you want to get so big and fat?”.
The audio is pretty long, I have to warn you! 👀🐷♥️
Text Transcription:
«Whats your fat story? like waht made you want to get so big and fat?»
«BE WARNED!! THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST!!
I was JUST 4 years old when, in the solitude of my little bedroom, i played pretend within myself in my toddler crib: i was a little piggy and was destined to be fattened up.
Flash forward: i was 7, i was playing pretend still with that setting, and weighed myself before drinking as much water i could, and weighing myself after that too. I enjoyed seeing the little numbers on the scale go up so fast.
Flash forward: it was early 2000 years, i was 10 and a bit chubby, and the social fashion and new norm was being thin, too thin, so thin you could see ribs. I was regularly called fat, lardass, fatass, even tho i was of normal corporature. I was always angry about this, i didn’t felt fat!
Flash forward: i was 12 and EVERYONE called me fat because i developed early and already had big tits. The rest of my body was thin, i could feel the inter-ribs space with my fingers, but for the culture fo the time i was FAT. I started doing A LOT of sports, like swimming half week and karate the other half week, and that made me bulky, not thin at all. Fat-related bullying intensified at the point that at 13 years old i requested to my mother if i could go to a nutritionist for becoming thinner. She complied, but i got so stressed from the bullying, too much sport and trying on the top of this to be the best in my class, that i actually gained weight... the “wrong” kind of weight. The FAT weight.
I was 14 when i put my fingers on the minimal curve of my belly, the littlest pouch of fat i had when i was like 7 and never again, and pushed and squeezed it. And i loved it. I searched on google, in my mother tongue (italian): “what does it means if i like being fat?”. And it found a single 100ish people forum on BHM and BBW in italian, and i spent a week reading it, watching the SFW photos, i even requested access by registration to the forum.
And THERE. THERE i asked the fundamental question: “everyone i know wants to be thin... but i like being fat. I’d like to be fatter, even. I am wrong? Am i a bad person for feeling like this?”.
And response, gentle and welcoming and kind, was immediately: “no, you’re not a bad person for wanting to decide for your own body in your own way. You’re little for now, but one day you’ll get to choose for yourself what to do about it”.
But i was 14. And any 14yo ever existed believes they know everything in the world.
So i started using my allowance. Normally i’d store it in a box under my bed until i really wanted something (at the time i already spent like 200€ for an ipod touch, but i still had a decent sum remaining), but now i planned and invested my money in my fattening.
I started buying food on the way from home to school and returning, every place selling food knew me by name for the end of the school year. And i packed kgs like my body was so thirsty for them!!
In just two years (2!!) i went from 14 yo per 55 kg (155 cm height) to 16 yo per 115 kg (160 cm height).
I bumped into things with my body because i wasn’t used to being so large! And i was so effing soft!!! I loved it!!!
It was... interesting, from an external point of view, for sure.
My parents couldn’t wrap their minds around HOW i doubled in weight in just two years, for example.
And of course they had to stop me.
They stopped giving me allowance, reprised making me do sports (this time, swimming and modern dance), put me on a strict diet... but I LONGED for that freedom, that big quantities of food and sugary carbonated drinks, even the fatigue and short breath from running briefly... but more than anything... i hated i was losing my physical softness.
In other two years, from 16 to 18, i went from 115 kg to 75 kg.
Then my mother died and she left me some money, so i could go away from home (never loved that other parent too much) in 2015 and start my TRUE gaining.
Since then, I gained more than 125 kg (280 lbs).»
