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Blog post: My jouney becoming a cam model/content maker. (Cl..
🕑 Added 2020-12-10 11:53:05 +0000 UTC Blog post: My jouney becoming a cam model/content maker. (Click 'read more' ๐)So I left my last post just as a cheque dropped on my mat. I couldn't believe this camming thing wasn't a scam. I rang my partner at the time. I was so excited! I got the cheque! I can't believe it! I'm going to be ok! I'm going to make a lot of money! I felt so positive about my life for the first time in ages!
Little did I know at the time, but being a newbie on cam is a bit of a novelty for the viewers and that soon wore off. Over the next few weeks, I was logging on and I noticed that I was struggling to get users in my room. And nobody was tipping. What's going on!? What am I going wrong?
I spent a lot of time watching other cam models. I thought if I watched the successful ones, I would get ideas of how to make it work. I would see a girl smashing it and think 'oh I can do that!' So I would log on and copy what she was doing and of course would fall flat on my face. My confidence and self esteem was steadily going downhill. Not only was I making no money, but I felt like I wasn't cut out for this.
I sat down with my partner in the kitchen one day and I cried. Nobody wants to watch me. I'm not cut out for this. I'm just not good enough. I was in a state of horrible self pity.
Not only that, but a lot of the viewers that I did manage to get in thought I was a transexual. I kept getting the question 'are you a man? Did you used to be a man?' One guy even took me private and said 'oh I can't believe you're a trans.' I just couldn't believe it. Why does everyone think I'm a man? People kept telling me that I had a good body but my face is ugly. Thankfully I don't get that now. Looking back on it, I can see that my heavy clown-like make up and big hairstyle, paired with my height and masculine facial features (pre nose job) didn't help. I just couldn't see it back then.
As you can imagine, my self esteem was on the floor at this point. I remember one particular cam show, it was a slow one as usual and some random person came in and said 'ewwww so skinny.' I stood up, walked away from the cam and went and sat against the wall and cried. I can't do this anymore. I'm not cut out for it.
So I spent a lot of time trying to think of other things to do for work. I did little bits here and there. But i would sometimes slip a little bit of camming in when I was feeling confident. But not much changed. Then a few months down the line, I still had no real job prospects, I said to my partner. I'm going to give this one last blast. I'm going to do it full time for 6 weeks and see what happens. So I did. And to my surprise, it started working. I had one show and a guy came in and spoilt me with tokens and took me private. I logged off and bounced around the house. I had a good show!!! My partner came home from work and I went running to him! I had a good show!!! I was crazy exited.
From then on, I kept streaming and i had some slow days and some good days and eventually the good days started to overtake the bad. And i was making great money. And I have never looked back. Gradually I changed my style and the negative comments reduced and I hardly get any now. And when I do, I certainly don't feel like i want to cry anymore. Haha.
I just didn't realise that when you start camming, you have to treat it like opening a new shop. Nobody knows about you, or knows what you're about. Gradually you will gain followers, slowly and surely. You will always have bad shows. I still have bad shows now. But that's just the nature of camming. The next day could be an incredible show and you come away on such a high.
Camming is one of the best things to have happened to me. I have a life. I have money. I can work my own hours. I was able to get a dog which was something I wanted for a long time. I could not imagine doing anything else. And I'm grateful for it every day. ๐ฅฐ
I'll talk about Onlyfans in my next one. ๐ฅฐ
Wow this was a long one. ๐คฃ
