mystical_mckay
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Happy Friday my friends ♥️ It’s been 3 days in my new home a..
🕑 Added 2021-06-12 04:52:38 +0000 UTC Happy Friday my friends ♥️It’s been 3 days in my new home and ive already cried 😭🤣
I had a rough moment today that triggered a very unhealed wound within me once again haha.
When I got everything set up in my room I actually felt in love. I finally had natural lighting for recording my videos and more space!! I was so excited to start making videos to share!!
When I’m the middle of recording a song for TikTok in my new bedroom
I could hear my mother go into my sister room then she barged into my room while I was recording to tell me that the walls in this house are thin and everyone can hear me and that we need to put sound proof foam pads in my bedroom.
Idk whyyyyy but this really
Ooof hurt my heart
Because all I heard was that I was torturing everyone with my voice lol.
And I don’t know what happened i automatically just ran outside to my backyard and began sobbing.
I am so very self conscious of myself. It’s takin so much balls to get to where I am today with very little emotional support from the people around me. I had to learn to give 0 fucks cuz if I did then I couldn’t share anything with anyone.
I I have grown so much but I am still that small fragile childd afraid of being the runt from the litter.
I know that everything happens for a reason and there’s something in me that needs love. That is my work. I still have a lot of false beliefs and warped ways of thinking about myself and my creations.
I’m ready to think new things lol.
