Dear Diary,
This year has been one of the best and the wor..
🕑 Added 2020-12-31 17:08:56 +0000 UTC
Dear Diary,
This year has been one of the best and the worst. I think it’s been that way for many people. There aren’t many ways to describe this year without sounding super cliche… everyone’s been saying the same things. Like how it feels as if the year went by really quickly, which is has for me too. It feels like only yesterday that I was making my New Years Resolutions… most of which involved travelling and getting naughty with other people, which 2020 has of course prevented 🙄
I went to a sex club for the first time at the beginning of this year before all of the craziness started and it was one of the best nights of my life! After that, I was SO ready to try out new, daring sexual experiences. I have a lot of fantasies, most of which involve other people, and when I say other people, I mean people as well as Josh & myself. After that night, I felt so free, open and confident. I wanted this to be a year of experimentation. I had a few minor naughty experiences at the beginning of the year after the sex club, but I never went as far as I wanted to. I was easing myself in slowly. And now? Well now we’re at a point in life where it’s literally illegal to give someone a hug, so my plans didn’t work out too well 🤦♀️
It’s been a confusing year. It’s been full of heartache and stress… but somehow it’s been one of the best years of my life too, hence the confusion.
The stress & heartache has been a result of a few things that’ll already be obvious… Covid, politics, death and tragedy. However, I’ve struggled with some mild personal things this year too. They seem like such minor, silly little things compared to what other people have been through, but even so… they’ve been a struggle for me.
Josh & I lost a close family member, I’ve dealt with some horrid people online trying to put me down, and I’ve also recently (FINALLY) been diagnosed as being anaemic.
I say ‘finally’ in capitals because I’ve seen it coming for years… I’ve always been pale, I’ve always had a rubbish heartbeat and I’ve always found it difficult to breath at times. Although being anaemic kind of sucks, I’m just glad that it’s finally been confirmed, because it puts my mind at ease knowing what my body is doing, and it means I can try to fix it!
This year has taught me a lot of things too. It’s taught me that I’ve lost touch with certain parts of myself. I’ve allowed myself to become weak, and to let silly, irrelevant opinions get to me. I think that’ll be one of my New Years Resolutions - to be strong and focus on the good. Concentrate on the people who mean the most to me and the ones who love and know me, like my fans.
I never really do ‘New Years Resolutions’ because I think that if you want to change or improve something about your life, you shouldn’t need to wait for a new year to make it happen. You should make ‘New Day Resolutions’, which I’ll continue to do. But I think that after this shit show of a year, it’ll be cool to look back on this moment in a years time and see how much has changed. Therefore, these are my New Years Resolutions for 2021:
- Take AT LEAST 5 minute out of each day to do something that I genuinely love doing e.g reading, drawing 📖
- Don’t be so hard on myself.
- Learn to cook a little more! And by a ‘little more’ I basically mean ‘at all’… at the moment I can burn water.
- Film my first threesome video! (If covid ends)
- I of course have $$$ goals too… but I’ll keep those secret 😉
Anyway, as I said, this has also been one of the BEST years too. Financially, it’s been THE best year of my life. As for everything else… although being cooped up inside has taken a toll on almost everyone’s mental health, including my own, it also somehow helped it. I’ve had time to really figure out what I want in life and what’s important. Eesh, this is starting to sound soppy.
But that’s enough about this year. Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new year, and whether we’re locked up inside again or not (I blimmin hope not!) I’m still going to try to make it the best year yet, for me and everyone else around me 🥰
I’ve gained so many loyal fans this year, it’s honestly a little over whelming. I’ve been recognised while walking down the street, I’ve had people ask if they can take a selfie with me, and I’ve even gained some amazing fans who I can confidently say will now be life long friends. I started out in this industry around two years ago and I’ve always enjoyed it, but this year has made me truly love it, despite the ups and downs. I cannot WAIT to make some of the best content I’ve ever ‘produced’ (hate that word 🤢 but oh well) next year.
I’m looking forward to seeing what 2021 holds for me, and for the rest of the world. I don’t know what will happen… the only thing I do know, is I’m going to be exploring my sexuality even further, as much as possible, and I can’t wait to take all of my fans on my naughty journey as I do so 🥳
Maybe I should make these diary entries a regular thing? It feels good to have an outlet, somewhere to vent, share and express myself in a verbal way. I guess I’ll wait and see what everyone thinks. It might just be boring since it isn’t a video of my face covered in cum 😆
Happy New Years world ✨
Love from Jade/Pidge ❤️
