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🕑 Added 2023-02-18 22:50:37 +0000 UTC ❤️ Tip $5 if you’re glad I’m here today and appreciate me 🥰 Tip $10 if you want to care about my well being and want to support me Yes, I’m trying to step up my photo and video game, so I hope you keep up with me on this adventure as I actively try to improve and become better at what I do. I regularly have huge discount and bundle sales. — Here’s a more in depth write up on how I started my Onlyfans and how it changed my life: Before I started my OnlyFans in August, I was in a very dark place. I’ve gotten to the point where I was actually prepared to shoot myself in the head and end it all. Let me make this clear: this was not mere suicide ideation or just thinking about it. I was actively taking steps to purchasing a hand gun and mentally preparing myself for finally pulling the trigger. Most people are confused initially as to why I would resort to this brutal course of action for myself. For what? Because I can’t find work? I don’t think people understand the full gravity of my situation. I spent most of my twenties without work, no job experience to spice up my resume, no prior managers to vouch for my work ethic. For someone in their early twenties, this is fine as you will gain experience in this period of your life but for someone who is leaving this stage and have zero work experience to show for it, the situation is a bit different. Because of my lack of work experience, I couldn’t even qualify for unemployment or most stimulus checks. On paper, my resume and cover letters were fine, as I had several of my more professional friends proofread them to perfection. The problem was that most companies either ghost or straight out reject me after the in person interview. Being on the Autistic Spectrum, I recognized this as a huge problem early on; at this point, it wasn’t even my discomfort with eye contact as I’ve learned to “fake it” by looking between the person’s eyes instead of making direct eye contact, but that my behavior and mannerisms were out right “off putting” to many, as I appeared perpetually worried or anxious, had vocal and motor tics beyond my control, and overall, just didn’t fit the mold of what the company was looking for. For years, I was let down constantly by countless job rejection e-mails, giving one excuse after another about why I wouldn’t make a good fit for their company. I had full faith in my ability to do the job and do it well, but no company wanted to give me a chance and train me. I applied to a variety of positions, starting with academia, retail, and then service work. I pursued several freelance positions with predatory employers who were highly exploitative, underpaying me while making me to work overtime. All while they degrade me and my work, expecting me to accept this horrible treatment and toxic work environment simply because at least I was getting paid. The main reason for me feeling utterly demoralized from having no source of income for how many years is the fact that my parents were still paying for everything (rent, food, necessities, etc) as I was approaching 30. My parents are both 70, reaching to the point of retirement (my dad is on Dialysis and my mom is unemployed while taking care of my dad). I honestly wanted to ease the financial burden from my family who has graciously taken care of me all these years. I felt like I was a heavy weight bringing down everyone around me because of my inability to support myself. I felt I lacked a future because I had no source of income and essentially no savings. I hated the fact that my bank statement was constantly thrown into the negatives. I was put in the position where I would have to beg friends or strangers on the internet to borrow money to prevent me from paying over draft fees. For someone like me who hates asking people for things, despises pity, relying on people for utter necessities, this was particularly painful for me to do. It got to the point where I was this close to just buying scratch offs and just hoping I get lucky and make it big, because all the hard work I was putting into finding work was bearing no fruits in helping me gain employment. I felt that scratch offs were becoming a better investment; all the effort I was putting into finding work seemed to be a big waste of my time. For years, I felt truly felt hopeless about my situation. I kept telling myself if it doesn’t get better by this time, then I’m finally done. I can’t handle living life as a pathetic waste leeching off my parents. I don’t remember what exactly made me decide to finally try Onlyfans but it was my last option of finding a source of income. Initially, I was very hesitant about starting an Of because I felt it would debase my character but at that point, begging for money and just living in poverty was doing that as well, so at that point, I felt my character has already been debased beyond recognition simply by my standard of living. Onlyfans has definitely changed my life for the better, it made it possible for me to pay rent for the first time for a full year, be able to actually live like a normal person, not having to check my bank statement every time I buy something in fear of my card being declined.
