LiseEclaire
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The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon (Chapter 15)
🕑 Added 2022-07-16 23:02:01 +0000 UTCThe last goblin glider crashed onto the ground, a few hundred feet from Theo’s avatar. Behind him, the mass of people cheered. The dungeon, however, didn’t feel one bit pleased. As far as he was concerned, walking should be made illegal. There was no practical point in it. Even horseback riding was cumbersome and slow. Using his aether shield skill and telekinesis ability to fly through the air had been so much better. Alas, that wasn’t an option now. When he had tried using it, Liandra had made a harsh comment that he could only use the spell if he could cast it on everyone. Theoretically, he could do that, but wasting energy on a futile effort of the sort, especially given now much he was going to use on the portal, was out of the question. As a result, he had been forced to use his avatar to slowly walk through the middle of nowhere in the direction of the nearest kingdom.
Now and again, small squadrons of goblins would attack, providing Theo an excuse to use the spells for faster movement. The problem with that was that because of his overpowered spells, he’d destroy the monsters before he had a chance to really engage with them. It didn’t help that they were eager to fly in his direction instead of attempting to escape, which any normal minion was supposed to do.
CORE CONSUMPTION
12 goblin cores into 120 Avatar Core Points.
Just a hundred and twenty, Theo sighed mentally.
At this rate, it was going to take forever for his avatar to reach level nine, let alone ten where the really cool stuff was supposed to happen.
“All clear!” Theo shouted to the people behind. “We can go on now.”
“I think we’ll need to rest a bit,” Liandra shouted.
All the dungeon’s doors creaked, as did the equivalent of human teeth gnashing. Rest was the last thing he wanted, especially since he didn’t need any. Sleep, on the other hand, was more than welcome, but for that, they had to find a town to stay in, or at the very least, a forest. So far, the weather had been unusually favorable—all the clouds seemed to be attracted by the Mandrake Mountains, where they swirled, creating an ominous-looking cone. Clearly, there were more demon parts buried beneath the tons of rock.
“How long is a “little bit?” the avatar asked.
“Not much. Probably half an hour or so,”
“Half an hour…” The avatar wanted to scream. Since there was nothing that could be done, he slowly made his way to the heroine and sat down.
The constant delays were exceedingly annoying, not to mention boring to the point that the dungeon had no choice but to focus on its main body development. Initially, when he had delegated the responsibility of dungeon expansion to Spok, it was expected that Theo wouldn’t remain uninvolved in the process. Since he’d arrived in this world, he never did anything cumbersome unless he had to. Given the free time on his hands, though, he had quickly turned into a backseat architect. Either it was the appearance of the new rooms that he didn’t approve of, or the position, or he’d incessantly nick pick, focusing on meaningless details. Ultimately, a few hours had proven enough for the spirit guide to quickly give up doing anything and just wait quietly for the moment. Theo got bored with the activity again.
Room creation, as it turned out, was a lot more complicated and fulfilling than one expected. Having only a building to focus on, Theo thought that all it took was a modicum of artistic skill in order to get things going. As it turned out, expanding involved careful planning, budgeting, and strategic choices. Every room created required energy and maintenance in the form of additional minions. The issue was that Theo had zero understanding of the former and strongly disliked the latter. Spok had tried to politely explain, but would instantly get a grumble not to meddle and that Theo “knew what he was doing.”
After another fine mess, and while his avatar was forced to rest, the dungeon had no choice but to admit partial failure.
“Okay.” Theo erased all rooms of his recently created network. “So, I need a hub first, right?”
A guard chamber might be a more appropriate first step, sir, Spoke said, patiently. As things stand your core is rather exposed to attack. Having a few more—
“Cmyk will take care of that. So, hub?”
Yes, a hub would be a good thing to have, the spirit guide agreed, unwilling to get into an argument.
A large room appeared one room beneath the core chamber. The room connecting them was barely the size of a closet, meant to serve as a buffer in case Theo decided to redo the whole construction again. Strictly speaking, there was no need for it: the whole purpose of the hub was to connect to other rooms—in this case, there were a total of twelve corridors leading out to potential chambers. According to Spok, the usual practice was to keep the hubs small and rely on corridors, but Theo had quickly disregarded that and had gone with the largest room he could get away with; anything larger and the whole building risked sinking into the ground.
Multiple support columns were added, after which the pondering began yet again. In the past few times, the dungeon had proceeded with creating a few diggers to drill down in search of materials to consume. However, that had quickly proven to be useless. The spirit guide had been right when it had said that there was little of value beneath a town. What little ores the geographical location provided had been extracted ages ago, leaving nothing but earth and sand and rock.
Three new rooms emerged side by side, all connected to the hum. In each of them, Theo placed a large aether generator. This was always a plus. The aether generators were expensive, incredibly so, but very useful, since they extracted aether from the soil itself. Between them, his core, and what existed in the building, the dungeon had vastly increased its energy production.
“Can I build a carrot patch?” Theo asked.
Underground? Sure, Spok didn’t even try to argue. Of course, it would be a lot easier to have one above ground. There tends to be a bit more sun there.
Three subterranean garden plots popped up: one for carrots, one for lettuce, and the final one for celery. For some reason, the house rabbit seemed to enjoy it a lot.
“Orchards too, right?”
Three long chambers emerged, wide and tall enough to hold trees. There were no plants, of course. Dungeons couldn’t produce plants, or anything living, for that matter. At some point, Cmyk was going to have to go out and buy some, though with the minion’s aversion to work, there was no telling when that would happen. Still, everything was ready for that moment, or so the dungeon was convinced.
“Alright, what now…?” the dungeon asked, more himself than anyone else.
Maybe three other rooms? Spik asked, words dripping with sarcasm.
As far as the guide was concerned, Theo continued to be nothing like a dungeon. The proper thing to do was produce minions to harvest resources, create halls, and build more and better chambers with which to expand. Instead, everything was going in the completely opposite direction. The dungeon had been criminally lucky, obtaining an unheard amount of core points thanks to the misfortune of a single hero. Three quarters in existence would have given half their halls for such an opportunity. Instead, Theo had wasted all that energy on the most absurd things. It was as if he valued comfort above everything else, even when expanding. That was unlikely to change anytime soon, at least not while he had such an overabundance of energy left.
“Are there spells for mapping an area?”
You already know the surrounding area, sir. But if you insist, you might buy a cartographer’s map of Rosewind. Normally, they’d be considered expensive, but for you… Spok didn’t finish the sentence.
“Have Spok buy me one when he gets back,” the dungeon ordered. “And also seeds for the gardens.”
Of course. If you’ll allow me, I think that a few material refineries would be rather useful. Proper materials are necessary for better and more elaborate rooms. You can’t rely on energy forever. Not if you want to amass enough energy to leave this place.
A few days ago, the comment would have made perfect sense. However, at present, it was barely a factor. While the dungeon hadn’t outright abandoned the idea, too much had been invested already, to throw everything away and go elsewhere.
“Let’s keep thinking of options,” Theo said, dismissing the idea only a good manager would. “I’ll focus on getting my avatar back here.” As well as the herd of people, he added mentally.
Shifting his focus to events thousands of miles away, Theo looked around with his avatar. A quarter of the people were still lying on the ground, breathing heavily. During the last brief stop, less than a fifth needed to rest. The march and lack of food was making it more difficult to move. If things continued like this, by nightfall exhaustion would reach such levels that Theo and Liandra would be the only ones capable of walking.
Taking a chance, Theo discreetly attempted creating a portal near his avatar. The purple outline of a circle materialized for just a moment before melting away like cobwebs near a flame. So much for a quick solution. If memory served, the group would have to walk three times as much as they already had for portal magic to become possible.
“I know what you’re doing,” Liandra whispered. Her tone was deathly serious.
“You do?” The avatar looked at her. Right now, it was a blessing that he didn’t have the ability to sweat, or the gig would have been up.
“You want to use a portal to get them to Rosewind directly? That’s why you keep pushing them all the time. You know that each time they stop makes continuing all the more difficult.”
“Guess I can’t fool you.”
“It won’t work,” the heroine said flatly, causing Theo’s smile to quickly fade away. “Lord Mandrake fed them just enough so they could work. The demon heart took care of the rest. Nearly all of them are exhausted and undernourished. Their bodies know it, and soon enough they will as well.”
“We can’t just leave them here.” Internally, the dungeon was actually quite fond of the idea. Leaving the villagers here, along with Liandra, to keep an eye on them was the best course of action. That way, his avatar would be free to float to the point he could create a portal and return to Rosewind.
“We won’t. I’ll remain here with them. Meanwhile, you’ll go on.”
“Are you sure?” he asked in fake concern. “I can stay as well until help arrives. You sent quite a number of scrolls, so it’s only a matter of days before someone shows up.”
“No. You must continue and get one of the flying devices.”
“Alright, I’ll—” Theo abruptly stopped. “Say again?”
“The flying devices. They should be large enough to carry all the people, and a lot faster than a horse or wagon. Bring one here and we’ll be able to easily reach Rosewind. Who knows, maybe you’ll even be able to get a portal working and have us fly through.”
Doors slammed violently in the dungeon’s main body, attracting the attention of several people in Rosewind. Right this instant, Theo was as livid as he had ever been, and to make it worse, he had to keep all that rage bottled inside.
“You want me to chase down a goblin dirigible and capture it?” he asked in the politest tone he could muster.
“It’s not as glamorous as destroying a demon heart, I know, but it’s the most useful thing that could be done right about now.”
“But…”
But what? He had already said multiple times that he could travel far faster if he used his aether shield method. Also, he had boasted quite a bit about how he’d destroy Lord Mandrake’s entire flying fleet, if he came across it—a boast only reinforced by the ease he had taken down the goblin squadrons.
“I can’t take a whole dirigible,” he said. “I mean, I can capture it, sure, but I’m just one person. How am I to control such a massive contraption? That’s a job for at least a dozen people.”
“And you’ll have them,” Liandra said, as if she was expecting such a response. “I’ve already spoken to all the village elders, and they have agreed to send a small group of their best.”
Theo felt like crying. Glancing over his shoulder, he now noticed the small group standing there.
“They’re no heroes, but they’re strong and smart. They’ll be able to help you steer the flying device.”
Strong and smart were not at all what Theo thought, looking at the selection. Their only qualifications seemed to be that they were still standing upright, unlike an increasing majority of the rest. If any of them were even half as smart as Liandra claimed they were, they wouldn’t have remained in their villages.
“We’ll be exposing them to too much danger,” he quickly said. Faced with the prospect of having to lead a group, he preferred to try to steer the dirigible on his own. At least then there would be a far lesser chance of mess-ups. “I’ll do it myself.”
The heroine shook her head.
“I knew you’d say that. That’s the thing about you, Theodor d’Argent. You never change.”
Lady, you don’t even know me, the dungeon thought. Like, you’re so clueless that clues consider you an endangered species!
“They’re going with you and that’s final,” she went on. “And just in case you’re thinking of pulling a fast one, if you run off, I’ll catch you, beat you up and drag you back here. Got it?”
The ultimatum was less than ideal. Theo knew that if it ever came to a fight between him and Liandra, there was a huge risk that he would end up losing. True, he had a considerable number of spells and abilities, but she was a hero, and when it came to fights between heroes and dungeons, sooner or later the heroes always won.
“Are they somewhat competent?” he lowered his voice, admitting defeat.
“Why don’t you talk to them yourself?” Liandra beamed with the glee of one who had gotten her way. “Don’t worry about me. I won’t interfere. Unless you try to run away, that is.”
The thought had crossed Theo’s mind, but he had discarded it before she had made the point. For the foreseeable future he was condemned to chase after a goblin dirigible with a group of minions—human minions at that.
Standing up, the avatar gave Leandra once last disapproving look, then slowly made his way to the group. Up close, the people looked even worse than from a distance. It was outright impressive how, out of over a thousand people, this was the best available to him. Two of the twelve were well in their eighties, possibly even older. Three seemed like children, one was outright a child; two were frail as supermodels, and one had the build of a bear that had converted every inch of muscle into blubber. The remaining three appeared mostly average, which was to say by no means special.
“Hello, all,” the avatar said. “I guess you've got some idea what we’ll be doing?”
“We’ll capture a goblin carrier and fly it here!” the child of the group said with enthusiasm. Short and skinny, he was somewhere between fifteen and twelve years old, with hair and clothes so greasy and thick with dirt that Theo had difficulty determining the actual color. “Right?”
“Right, right.” This is going to be just fun… “Well, I guess you’ve all seen what I can do. How about you introduce yourselves and share what skills you have that can contribute to the mission?”
There was a long pause. Everyone looked at everyone else, none willing to be the first. After a while, Theo was left with no choice but to make the selection himself.
“You,” he pointed to what appeared to be the strongest person in the group. “What’s your name and how can you be of help?”
The man winced, already showing that he had a rotten attitude. Obviously, he was hoping that someone else would go first.
“They call me Flail.” The man crossed his arms. “I…” Everyone could see the hesitation. He took a quick glance at Liandra, as if seeking support, then returned his gaze onto the dungeon’s avatar. “I used to be a B-rank adventurer. My last mission was a bust. The entire party got slaughtered. I was designated to be on the rearguard, so I managed to escape. No one wanted to go with me on missions after that, so I decided to retire in a small village. That didn’t last long, though. I think everyone can guess the rest.”
“Spok, how strong is a B-rank adventurer?” Theo asked back in his main body.
Decently strong, the spirit guide replied, still slightly bitter about the whole room construction thing. Cmyk’s friends are B-rank for the most part. They can handle their own against standard monsters, and can provide good support in large enough numbers, but are nothing to be worried about.
Definitely not ideal, but leagues ahead of the common villagers.
“You’ve had experience fighting these things?” Theo’s avatar asked. “Goblin carriers, I mean.”
“No,” the man replied. “But I’ve had experience fighting goblins.”
“Name is Jack,” the largest of the group said, his deep voice and large beard only furthering his stereotype. “I used to be the Gladiator Champion of Degorium three years running.”
The avatar blinked several times.
“Used to be?” he asked. “What happened?”
“I gained my freedom, and settled down somewhere quiet where I never had to fight again.” He slammed his massive gut with both hands. “I seem to have let myself go a bit, but I still have the strength. Just point me in the right direction and I can smash through any door or opponent, be it goblin, human, or troll.”
“Well, that’s rather… that’s very impressive.” Theo nodded with his avatar. “Anyone else have anything to share?”
As it turned out, every single person of the dozen had a story to share, and none of them were what they seemed. The child, as it turned out, was a once in a generation prodigy that could pick up pretty much anything—be it combat technique, or scholarly knowledge—almost instantly. The reason he had remained in his village was because he didn’t want to leave his friends and family. The two women with delicate features had been highly paid assassins who had spent several months in a village waiting for their target to pass nearby in order to eliminate him. Due to Lord Mandrake’s involvement, the mission had ended up in failure, so at present they had no other choice but to keep their cover. Several of the rest were retired soldiers who, like Flair, had enough of it all and wanted to enjoy some rest. One was a city fixer, who was forcefully retired and cast out due to “changes in management.” And as for the old geezers, they were something that no one expected.
“You’re what?” Theo asked in disbelief.
“Shield-bearers,” one of them said. “Are your ears gone already?”
“My ears are fine,” the avatar snapped back. “It’s just that… What are you doing in a village?!”
Shield-bearers was the term used for powerful warriors who were a single step below heroes. From what Spok had explained, in some cases they matched heroes in speed, strength, and abilities, yet through a trick of fate, had never been blessed with the heroic trait, making it far more difficult for them to slay demons and dungeons. Normally, shield-bearers would be assigned to a hero whom they would protect till the end of their days, or the hero’s retirement. At that point, most of them were given a generous stipend from the local ruler to spend what remained of their days in relative luxury.
“It was the dying wish of our hero,” the other replied. “Nasty bastard. Well, at least we thought so at the time. After a decade, though, we saw how right he was.”
“All our life we kept on stressing about monsters and what not. Living in a quiet village was the best thing that had happened to us. Well, until an overlord wannabe appeared.”
“Why didn’t you try to escape?”
“Just because we’re shield-bearers doesn’t mean we can withstand the lure of the demon heart,” the first old man grumbled. “It takes a hero to do that. One such as you, for example.”
“I’m no hero.”
“Oh? We beg to differ. Only a hero could do what you did. There’s no doubt about it. It’s rare to see a mage hero, but it wouldn’t be the first time.”
It was a good thing that they couldn’t tell he was a heroic dungeon. If they knew, things would be beyond awkward.
The avatar started pacing left and right in front of the group.
“Just to be clear. All of you are actually incredibly strong, by local standards, and through one reason or another, decided to stay in some small forgotten village or other until you were snatched by the pesky gnome overlord?” He gave them a glance. “And now, you’ve all decided to reveal your true nature and come along to help me capture a goblin carrier?”
“None of the rest know why we’re here,” one of the female assassins said. “And I, for one, would very much appreciate it if things stay that way. We’ve created a few friendships in our new life, and there’s always a reason to hide from the old.”
“Okay, that I can understand. But why step forward at all? If you hadn’t told me, no one would have ever found out.”
“Seeing how things were going, we knew that the rest of the people wouldn’t last too long,” one of the former soldiers said. “Everyone’s tired, there’s no food, no water… I give it a week or two before people start dying out. Besides, the heroine caught us out.”
This made Theo feel rather concerned. If Liandra had managed to spot all of them, there was a very real chance that she could figure him out as well. More than likely having an avatar freely moving about was so unusual that her conscious mind refused to accept it, but if he remained close for too long, she might start noticing things that would lead to questions, which in turn would escalate to a potentially painful death.
“Right,” the avatar said, clearing its throat. “Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll track the carrier down, sneak aboard, kill all the goblins there—”
“Then fly it back here, get everyone aboard, and fly them back home,” the child finished.
“Yes, thank you, Elias,” Theo grumbled. One thing he didn’t like since his previous life was being interrupted. Considering it was a child, though, he was forced to give Elias a pass. “Although it might not be the same home. It’ll definitely be a home, though. And there will definitely be someone to take care of you. In fact, it’ll be far better than before.”
Several people in the group nodded.
“Right.” The avatar clapped his hands, then rubbed them together. “What equipment do you need?”
“Equipment?” Gladiator Jack asked. “You’re going to make us equipment?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” The dungeon’s avatar glared at him. “I’ll just create some.”
Snapping his finger for dramatic effect, Theo created a room on the ground in front of him. It wasn’t the best of rooms: it lacked a roof and only had three walls. However, there was a large variety of weapons, clothes, and armor—just as an armory was supposed to have.
“There you go. Gear up and dress up well. We’re going to take down the goblin carrier in style.”
