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The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon (Chapter 25)
🕑 Added 2022-08-21 03:50:56 +0000 UTCChests from the earl’s treasury started arriving a few hours later. They were considerably bigger than Theo had expected, and refreshingly useful. Sadly, they couldn’t compare to the heart core, but they were in enough amounts for the dungeon to strengthen the town wall as well as create a few more ballista towers. Due to the guard’s insistence that they be given charge of the defense capabilities, Theo was left with no other choice than to compensate by creating as many towers for his personal control.
The observatory too was granted two, as well two ballista platforms, along with an additional defense dome. Having spent so much money and effort in creating it, the dungeon was eager to keep it as protected as possible. If he had the power, he would have created an aether shield generator as well, but for some reason that proved impossible. Only Theo’s avatar was able to cast the spell, and despite the hundreds of rooms and contraptions available for construction, rooms with any advanced magic properties weren’t among them. That felt somewhat odd. Given enough core points and energy he could build pretty much any spawning room, including dragon roosts, griffin nests, lich tombs and so on, but nothing that could perform any magic aside from aether generators.
“Spok, are you sure that I can’t build a magic manipulating room of some sort?” the dungeon asked.
“There are multiple refineries, purifiers, and material converters you could create,” the spirit guide replied. “Those are highly magical rooms.”
Technically, she was current, but that wasn’t the question Theo had asked, and Spok knew it. Sadly, she wasn’t able to say more than was in the list. This was both sad and a sobering reminder that even the spirit guide had her limits.
“How is the fight with the lich going?” Spok asked.
“Slow,” Theo sighed. “I’m in the middle of deflecting his blow and making a rather witty comment.”
The latter had turned out to be a mistake. Maybe if the dungeon’s sole point of reference was the time slowed zone, it wouldn’t matter, but having to physically watch the mouth of his avatar word, a joke that he had come up with an hour ago, was beyond annoying.
From now on, no more comments! Theo vowed. Of course, even he knew that the vow had the weight of a New Year’s resolution. There was virtually no doubt in his mind that the lich was going to do something that would merit some other witty comment to the point that the dungeon wouldn’t be able to resist.
“Are there any spells that would propel the ballista bolts further?” he asked.
“Sir, if there were such spells, don’t you think that heroes would have already used them on large stationary targets such as dungeons?”
Spok had a point. The only thing worse than dealing with heroes and adventurers was having them propel lethal chunks of timber from a distance.
At least the main section of the dungeon was starting to get a proper feel that met both Spok and Theo’s approval. All sections beneath the main building were now made of steel reinforced stone. Not only that, but Theo had taken the time to create a ring of trap chambers and massive stone doors around the garden ring. Since physical barriers didn’t impede Theo or Spok, keeping the doors sealed shut was no issue. Furthermore they were a perfect means of stopping the king slimes that were going about the runnels in ever-increasing numbers. Theo had made the mistake of using a large amount of core points to create three more king slime pits—one for every cardinal direction—in the hopes they’d keep each other in check. The plan had backfired tremendously. Not only did the slimes not engage in combat, but they started multiplying like crazy to the point that Theo had to seal off a number of other tunnels just to keep them contained.
“Sir, I know your views on minion pits, but I really think that you should construct a few dozen of them. As numerous as the slimes are, they wouldn’t exactly be suitable for fighting off an invasion. For one thing, they’re likely to consume more of the town’s people than attacking goblins.”
“I’ll give it some thought.” Theo gave the standard response managers used when they wanted to say no. “Did you manage to hire any mercenaries?”
“Unfortunately, none accepted the offer. It’s more a matter of logistics than anything else. There are much closer offers for them to accept.”
Theo screeched the doors of his buildings in annoyance. The one time he wanted people to arrive and none of them did. The sad part was that even if they had gotten here, he no longer was sure they would have made any difference. The airships he had seen were considerably more than he had expected. It wasn’t a mere dozen or so that had made their way here, there were hundreds. If each had a thousand goblins, that made an army a hundred thousand strong at the very least. All the people of Rosewind, including the neighboring villages, were five times less.
A horn sounded in the distance beyond the walls. Immediately, Theo turned the observatory of the telescope in the appropriate direction. What he saw filled him with relief and alarm. Relief, because he saw the colors of Earl Rosewind’s flag waving from a carriage that was making its way to the main gate. Alarm, since there was a second flag above it, and according to the rules of hierarchy, that meant there was a duke aboard as well.
“The duke’s finally back,” the dungeon grumbled. “And he’s brought a friend.”
“I believe that would be Duke Goton’s daughter, sir,” Spok explained. “If you remember—”
“I remember!” Theo snapped.
A moment ago, he found it difficult to imagine how things would get worse. Now, he no longer had to. Having the adventurous daughter of a duke enter town prior to a massive attack was the worst possible thing that could happen. With her around, it was a lot more likely that the earl could decide to enter negotiations with Lord Mandrake. The moment that happened, the sneaky gnome could well promise to spare the city as long as Theo’s core was brought to him on a silver platter. If that happened…
“Is there a way for me to make your avatar move freely about?”
“Other than consuming the entire town, no sir,” Spok replied. “Why?”
“I need you to stay close to the duke’s daughter and make sure that the earl doesn’t get any strange ideas.”
“Strange ideas, sir?”
“Look. I don’t want to risk him making a deal with Lord Mandrake. If you’re there during the reasoning process, you can nudge things away from such an outcome.”
“I understand, sir. But there are far easier ways of dealing with the matter.”
The carriage steadily made its ways to the main gate. It was accompanied by several riders, including one of the scouts sent to find the earl in the first place. It was safe to assume that the noble had been apprised of the situation.
“Attention!” Lieutenant Ribbons shouted as the carriage reached the gate.
Two rows of soldiers stood to attention on either side of the road. One of the escorting riders—a servant judging by his clothes—dismounted, then rushed to open the carriage door.
The first person to get out of it was, of course, Earl Rosewind. The second was a tall skinny woman dressed in armor which while tailored to fit, felt absolutely off. Back in his previous life, Theo would have accused the woman of heading to a cosplay convention.
“Mind your step, dear girl,” the earl said, extending his hand.
The woman’s face twisted with reluctance, but she grabbed hold of it. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the young lady was going through a rebellious phase, wishing to prove to her father that she didn’t need his help in any single way. Theo wouldn’t be surprised if Duke Goton had deliberately dumped the girl onto Earl Rosewind to get some calm and quiet.
“Spok,” the dungeon whispered back in his main building. “Any chance you can teach me a spell to identify heroes on sight?”
HERO REVELATION
Spend 100 energy to identify a hero even if they attempt to hide their nature through magic or other means.
Without waiting, Theo cast the spell. It came to no surprise than neither the woman, nor the earl had any heroic traits.
So much for that, Theo said to himself.
“Cute walls,” the woman said, in mocking fashion.
“Why, yes, they seem somewhat unique, don’t they?” The earl responded with such calm and confidence, that anyone would have sworn that they had always been in such condition. “As a matter of fact, I recently asked Baron d’Argent—a good friend of mine—to see whether he can improve them a bit. You see, the man is a rather powerful mage, if a bit on the eccentric side.”
Since when are we friends? Theo wondered. As far as the dungeon was concerned Earl Rosewind was the polar opposite. A menace would be more appropriate. If it wasn’t for the pesky noble, Theo would quietly be enjoying life right now in the middle of a city, and not having to worry about an airship invasion, chrono liches, of his secret coming out.
“A mage?” the duke’s daughter asked, visibly intrigued.
“Quite. He bought a plot of land not too far from the castle one day, then moments later built a whole house there. Quite a magnificent sight, I must tell you. One moment there was nothing there, and the next, a veritable mansion the likes of which even I had never seen.”
The ploy was clear. Just as Duke Goton had dumped his rebellious daughter onto the earl, the earl was now doing the same dumping her on Theo. Normally, the dungeon would be pissed, but in the current circumstances, this could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. All that was needed was for Cmyk to play his part.
“Once all this nonsense with the invasion is over, I’ll gladly introduce you to him. I’m sure you have many questions regarding legendary beasts and mythical monsters.”
“Nice,” the woman replied with a nod.
“Yes, I’m sure it would be. Now, if you would—”
The sound of clanking came from within the city. Several guards grabbed the hilts of their blades, turning in the direction of the noise. Seeing that it was only Cmyk wearing exceedingly expensive and ornate armor, they relaxed. No matter how suspicious his actions, everyone had a soft spot for the local celebrity.
“Ah, and that is the baron’s champion,” the earl said, extending his hand in the direction of the approaching minion. “Sir…” he glanced at Lieutenant Ribbons for assistance.”
“Sir Myk, sir!” the officer responded instantly.
“Ah, yes, of course. Sir Myk. Wonderful fellow, and quite the knight himself, I must add. Very pious, very religious, not to mention quite strong.”
The duke’s daughter glared at the knight with a combination of annoyance and disappointment, as if someone had presented her with the old new thing. Knights, such as Cmyk, were rather common and not at all fashionable in larger cities. If anything, it reminded her of the crowds that would often visit her father. Being one of higher standing, though, she did what etiquette demanded of her, which was to extend her hand, expecting the obligatory kiss. However, this time, the minion placed a scroll in her palm, instead.
Everyone froze. The soldiers were outright impressed that someone would dare be so open to the daughter of a duke. On her part, the woman’s mind had started an endless feedback loop. Years of etiquette had taught her that a knight was obliged to follow up by kissing her hand. Yet all her senses clearly showed that not to have happened.
“Is he a hero?” the woman asked, slowly pulling her hand back.
“No, not that I know of. He is a mysterious person, however. He’s said to have slaughtered many powerful enemies who attempted to harm his master. Once my good friend the baron returns, I’ll be sure to ask him to share some stories on the matter.”
The answer seemed adequate. Still slightly confused, the duke’s daughter looked at the scroll. The most remarkable thing—that had remained completely unnoticed due to Cmyk’s behavior—was that it wasn’t made of parchment, but solid gold. Intrigued, the noblewoman broke the wax seal and unrolled the scroll.
“It says I’m cordially invited to the baron’s mansion,” she read. “I thought you told me that the baron wasn’t here.” She looked at Earl Rosewind.
“Quite right, quite right. He’s off. His steward is overseeing his estate, however. Wonderful lady. I’m sure you’ll like her.”
“A lady stewarding the baron’s estate?” there was a faint glint in the woman’s eyes.
“Oh, absolutely. She tends to keep to herself, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she too has some minor knowledge on magic as well.”
Theo felt like laughing. Saying that Spok knew about magic was the same as saying Shakespeare could spell words. Everything that Theo had learned was thanks to Spok. Spirit guides were nothing if not living encyclopedias.
Folding the scroll back up, the duke’s daughter looked at Cmyk. The minion had lived enough among humans to know what that meant, so he turned around and led the way to the dungeon’s main building. The duke attempted to follow, but was fortunately intercepted by one of the local sniveling nobles. Apparently, news of his return had quickly spread, causing all interested parties to scramble for his attention. The only reason they hadn’t appeared sooner was because it had taken some time for them to dress up in their most flashy clothes. The duke’s daughter, on the other hand, dressed as a common adventurer wannabe, attracted no immediate attention.
“What’s the baron like?” the woman asked, walking alongside Cmyk. “And his steward.”
Cmyk glanced over his shoulder and shrugged.
“Is it a secret?”
Not knowing what to say, the minion pretended to ignore the question, increasing his pace. Meanwhile, Theo was doing his best to remain calm, observing the whole thing through some floating eyeballs. Each time he paid attention to what Cmyk was doing, he deeply regretted it. Given the sheer incompetence of the skeleton, it was a mystery how he and the dungeon had survived until now.
“Spok,” Theo began. “Your idea about creating some skeleton spawning chambers… never talk of it again. I’d rather have a swarm of goblins attack than—” he abruptly stopped.
“Than?” the spirit guide asked after a few minutes.
“Get the ballistas ready! We’re under attack!”
All ballistas on the north-east section of the wall moved forward, aiming at the sky. That thoroughly confused the guards stationed there. Many of them looked out, trying to find a reason for such behavior. Initially there was nothing to be seen, but soon enough, they spotted what Theo had thanks to his observatory: a vast swarm of flying goblins gliding their way towards the town.
Me and my big mouth, Theo thought as he covered the observatory with its protective dome.
“Cmyk!” one of the floating eyeballs floated down to the minion. “Grab the girl and carry her to home.”
“What did you say?” The duke’s daughter crossed her arms. “Do you know who I am?”
“Cmyk!” Theo said in a more insistent fashion.
Left with no choice, the minion turned around, grabbed the woman, then sprinted towards the dungeon’s main building faster than anyone would have thought his body would allow. The action was so fast that by the time the noblewoman started to protest; she had already been dropped off—quite literally—in the room’s foyer. There was little doubt that would cause a scandal in the days and weeks to come, but for the moment, such repercussions were far away into the future to be of any major concern.
From what the dungeon had last seen, and based on the carriers’ speed, it would be at least a full day before Lord Mandrake arrived. Unfortunately, that hadn’t stopped the gnome from sending his weaker, faster troops ahead.
Horns soon sounded, letting everyone know of the danger. Like clockwork, the earl was rushed to his castle, while the guards climbed the city walls, equipped with nothing but bows. Theo had no idea if the archers were any good, but even if they were exceptional, there was nothing a few hundred would do against such a threat. Aiming one of the ballistas at the cloud of approaching goblins, the dungeon let the bolt fly.
Propelled with great force, the chunk of wood went forward. For over ten seconds, it went on and on until it finally came into contact with its potential target. Then… nothing happened. The goblins along its path moved to the side, forming an empty lane for the projectile to fly through, not harming a single one of them. Apparently, the dungeon wasn’t the only entity that had prepared for this invasion.
You sneaky little gnome, Theo grumbled.
In all honesty, he hadn’t foreseen such an eventuality, but if there was one thing he had learned since his reincarnation was that when it came to fighting, it was expected for dungeons not to fight fair. Using half of his remaining core points, Theo modified the roofs of all the buildings he had bought—wall towers included—to be covered with crossbows. There was no doubt that the town would sustain some, probably significant damage, but the goblins wouldn’t be able to evade crossbow bolts.
“Why did you bring me here?!” the duke’s daughter asked within the dungeon’s main building. “Am I being kidnapped?”
Right now, that sounds pretty appealing, Theo grumbled, not wanting to deal with another distraction. Thankfully, Spok stepped in.
“Not at all, your ladyship,” the spirit guide said. Her height and perfect posture quickly made the noble quiet down and straighten up. “You have my deepest apologies for the manner in which you were brought here, but it’s for your own safety. The town, as it happens, is under goblin attack.”
There was no response, as if all protests and complaints had been swept away by Spok’s words.
“Let me assure you, the baron’s mansion is the safest place you could be right now,” Spok went on. “You’ll be perfectly safe here.” The spirit guide went up to the duke’s daughter. From such a proximity it was even more obvious that she was a full head taller. “Forgive my late introduction. I am Spok d’Esprit, steward of Baron d’Argent’s estate.”
“Amelia Goton, second daughter of Duke Goton,” the woman said, still slightly stiffly. “You remind me of my governess.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, Lady Amelia. Might I suggest we go to the living room? You’ll be a lot more comfortable there.”
Silently, Amelia followed. Compared to the palaces she’d spent her life growing up, the baron’s residence was barely a house, let alone a mansion, and yet it had a feeling of grandeur, as if it were far larger than it currently was. The noblewoman’s tutors referred to this as presence when describing the small temples she had to visit every morning after waking up. This wasn’t a temple, though it felt very different.
“Would you like some brandy?” Spok offered.
“Yes,” Amelia said, unwilling to refuse.
Spok poured two glasses, then handed one to the noblewoman, while leaving the other on the table.
“Are we really under attack?” Amelia asked.
“I’m afraid so. To be honest, we weren’t expecting the attack until later, which was why the baron asked me to invite you here. Unfortunately, there are things that even he couldn’t predict.”
The convenient lie made Theo seem a lot more competent than he was. One could almost think that he had planned this all along. Sadly, outside, in the real world, things weren’t as rosy. The first waves of goblins had managed to reach the town walls. Archers and the new crossbow modifications had managed to thin the ranks a bit, but the sheer amount was such that they blotted out the sun like locusts. Clay pots of combustible substances rained like hail, exploding the moment they hit something hard. The experience was utterly terrifying for the local inhabitants. The only silver lining lay in the fact that of all the buildings targeted, none had actual inhabitants in them; for some reason, the goblins were only targeting those structures that were part of Theo.
You pesky, good for nothing… the dungeon went into a swearing spree while focusing all of its own firepower on the invaders. From this distance, even the ballistas were effective, taking out goblins by the dozens.
Each explosion depleted a large amount of the dungeon’s energy reserves. The amount quickly approached the output limit. Before it could, though, Theo converted some of his core points to additional energy, managing to patch up the situation.
“Go out there and fight, you lazy skeleton!” he shouted to Cmyk. “It’s your town too!”
With less reluctance than usual, the minion did just that. Climbing up the stairs to the attic, he then went out onto the roof. Goblins were circling above like vultures. Without hesitation or thought, Cmyk swung his sword at the attackers, then let it go. The weapon sliced through several goblin gliders, causing them to crash down on the marketplace near the building.
“What idiotic action was that?!” Theo asked. “Can’t you use a bow like everyone else?”
Cmyk tilted his head.
“Never mind. Here’s another one.” A new sword floated out of the window and in front of the minion. “Now just—”
Before Theo could even finish, Cmyk had thrown the sword again, with the same results.
This time, Theo didn’t say anything. Silent, he created another sword then floated it to his minion, as if daring him to do the same. Cmyk sensed that, so he slowly placed his hand round the hilt and fastened his grip. Then he swung the sword backwards.
“Don’t you dare…”
Unfortunately, Cmyk did, throwing the sword up again.
“That’s it!” Theo shouted, furious. Never before did he want to tear Cmyk limb from limb as he did now. In fact, he wanted to zap him with lightning so many times that the minion would burn to a crisp!
The moment he thought about it, a bolt of lightning shot up from the roof, singing dozens of goblins along the way. The bot bombs that some had on them exploded, creating even more devastation in the sky.
Impressive as that was, however, it wasn’t supposed to be possible. Spok had been very specific that as far as skills were concerned, the dungeon and his avatar were two separate entities. Only when his avatar was back was there a possibility of skill transfer. And yet, somehow, Theo had managed to let out a lightning. Just to make sure, he repeated the feat. A second lightning bolt crackled up from the observatory, obliterating the creatures above. Goblin cores rained down like candy, but they weren’t able to bring any benefits. Unlike his avatar, Theo didn’t absorb cored by touch; only his core could do that.
“I thought you might like this.” A being of light appeared on the roof of Theo’s main building. “Just remember that you owe me one.”
“Owe you?” Theo asked, confused. “Who are you?”
“Forgotten me already? I’m hurt.” The being changed appearance. Light gained form, then face, becoming identical to the statue Theo had seen inside Peris’ temple.
“Peris?” he asked.
“The one and only. Technically, I couldn’t directly take part in worldly affairs, but I wasn’t going to let my temple be destroyed after all the followers you helped me gain.”
“You gave me the lightning?”
“I’m not sure it would have worked. It’s supposed to be granted to heroes, but since I already gave your avatar the heroic trait, I assumed you should be able to handle it as well. Good thing too, because it would have been awkward if you’d have killed yourself using it.”
Awkward indeed, along with a half a dozen other adjectives that Theo didn’t want to say out loud.
“So now, what?” he asked.
“Simple. You clean up the sky and when you’re done, send Cmyk to fix any damage done to my temple. I want it to look its best by the time the real battle starts.”
