MonroeByJahx
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Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Nine. Evil be thou my good.
🕑 Added 2022-05-16 08:06:08 +0000 UTCSo, allow me to preface this chapter with the following disclaimer: I'm a sucker for a charismatic, reasonable bad guy. I have derailed numerous campaigns over the years by looking around at the gaming table after the evil cult leader has given his spiel, and saying 'Well, he's not wrong.'
I'm also encouraged to not play evil characters in a campaign with varied alignments, as I will absolutely lead my party to temptation.
"Good afternoon," Yorrick said pleasantly.
He'd been waiting for this meeting for the better part of three hours, and he didn't particularly feel pleasant, but as this was the only world leader he'd been able to arrange a meeting with, he wasn't going to sour the well just because he'd been left cooling his heels.
"Good afternoon Mr. Wrathsbane," A tall woman, wearing a suit that fit her form quite nicely, smiled and gestured for him to follow her. "My name is Taylor, and I'm the President's chief of staff. I'm terribly sorry that we've kept you waiting, the process of evacuating our entire country is one that demands our attention in constant and unexpected ways."
"I've been assigned the task of liaising with your world on behalf of the Karcerian Empire, and as you are the only government I've been able to arrange a meeting with, all of my time is dedicated towards you," He smiled brightly. "I've spent the time learning more about your world, so it certainly wasn't wasted."
Which was true. While they were appallingly weak, the people of Earth had developed fascinating machines to compensate.
"The President has an opening now," Taylor said as she preceded him down a hallway. "It's only a thirty-minute slot, but depending on what you're looking to accomplish, it's likely that there are others who can accommodate you."
Yorrick nodded, keeping his affable smile in place. He had no doubt that was true. The government of this country did not control its citizens and business, not to any significant degree. He'd started using their 'internet' to investigate the mechanics behind their cellular phones and had discovered that while the government regulated them, they had no input on the development and deployment of the equipment beyond safety mandates.
The Emperor had been quite explicit in his desire to obtain this instantaneous communication system. After seeing how people used them in Harbordeep and then witnessing it on Earth, he could appreciate the Emperor's foresight. Considering how inexpensive it was to power both the transceivers and the devices themselves, it would revolutionize communications in the Empire. As it stood unless you could afford to spend the hundreds of crystals for a ritual, your only method of communication was to send a letter, or if you were spendy, a visual crystal, with the messengers that portaled from city to city. Even that was not an inexpensive service.
Coordination during Tides was a crucial and often lacking factor. He needed to come back with a plan in place.
"Yorrick Wrathsbane, the President of the United States of America, Elania Hartford," Taylor had led him into an oddly rounded room where a handsome woman sat behind an imposing desk. "Madam President, Yorrick Wrathsbane, High Seat of the Warlocks Guild, Third Pillar of the Karcerian Empire, and the Emperor's Envoy to our world."
"What would be the appropriate address?" The President asked as she stood up and walked around the desk to shake his hand. "Our protocol department was uncertain, and in this instance, our friends in Greenwold were less than forthcoming."
"In this instance, Warlock Wrathsbane would be the appropriate title," Yorrick shook her hand, still smiling, "but I'd prefer to dispense with formality as much as possible, so please, call me Yorrick."
She gestured for him to take a seat on one of the couches and then sat across him, with Taylor sitting in a chair to the side.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Yorrick, on behalf of a grateful world, allow me to thank the Karcerian Empire for their generous donation," The President said warmly.
"Think nothing of it beyond the fact that our Empire has the capacity to offer further aid on the same scale," Yorrick replied. He'd hoped to provoke a reaction with that statement, but despite their laughably low levels and tiers, these people had mastered hiding their emotions.
"What, exactly, would the Empire request for their aid?" The President asked.
"We would appreciate it if you went home after your world awakens to mana," Yorrick began. "We do recognize that you exert limited control over your citizens and that it's unlikely you'll be able to assure that all of your people leave," he continued, "however, if you could encourage them to come home afterward, particularly the light-siders, the Empire would be grateful."
The President frowned. "We recognize the imbalance in power that our arrival has caused, however inadvertently," she replied. "The Kingdom of Greenwold has not only welcomed us with open arms but sacrificed time and resources to aid us, asking nothing in return. This has generated an incredible amount of goodwill from our people. The rather simpler form of government also holds an appeal for a certain segment of our population."
The President paused to take a sip of water from one of the glasses on the small table between them.
"Your generous offer to allow half a million of our people to delve your Dungeons is one that we would like to take advantage of, as soon as possible. We do, however, have some concerns regarding the environment they'll be working in, as you have as much as admitted that your nation worships a pantheon of Evil Gods," The President finished.
Yorrick shook his head sadly. "Madam President," Yorrick had noted that she hadn't given him leave to use her name, "I've done a bit of research, focusing on the United States of America, and I can assure you, the seven Gods of Darkness are much more closely aligned with your population than the God's of Light." He raised a hand to forestall her response. "First, there is Hedon," he began, "and surely you cannot deny that your country is a beacon of hedonism. Indulgence in your any and every whim is very nearly the creed of some of your people. 'An ye shall harm none,' I believe is the saying. Vorax might well be the best represented, and it's worth noting that you could end the epidemic of obesity in your nation if everyone who was morbidly obese took a single Divine Blessing from the God of Gluttony. Although, Succors might come in a very close second, as sloth seems to be a sin held closely by many of the same people who would make excellent followers of Vorax. Then we have Avarice, who would weep tears of joy to behold the unadulterated greed of your people. Invidia follows closely behind, urging those who have less to envy those they view as more fortunate. Enerva, the Goddess of Pride, would accept as her rightful due all those who raise the banner stating 'Don't Tread on Me,' and who shout from the rooftops, proclaiming the greatness of your nation. Finally, Bael, the God of Wrath, would delightfully accept all those who believe that retribution is just and that there is no such thing as a proportional response, but only unmitigated vengeance against those who have wronged you."
Yorrick finished his speech with a smile. Truly, this country was far better suited to his pantheon.
~------------------------~
Elania desperately wanted to refute the Empire's Envoy, but it was hard to do so. There were a number of religious leaders who had tried to say the same thing, although never nearly so well.
Still, being a politician meant that you had to occasionally ignore certain truths and shine a more complimentary light on them.
"While I will admit that our country has had its difficulties and that we haven't always lived up to our ideals, I hardly think we're quite as enamored of the precepts of the Dark Gods," she replied dryly.
"Oh, I didn't intend the comparison as an offense," Yorrick assured her, still smiling, "Perhaps this is a cultural misunderstanding," he continued. "Your people don't necessarily proclaim their cardinal sins, but they exemplify them. Moreover, for the most part, they control them." Yorrick leaned forward, gesturing expressively. "The key principle of the Dark Pantheon is accepting that all of us have these urges, and while embracing them is only natural, it is ultimately a matter of control. Self-restraint and self-control are what raises a people from savagery and allows them to build civilizations. This is not to say," he added, "that the seven Gods of Light don't have their place. After all, your holy book states, 'The greatest of these is love.' Who hasn't felt more grateful for what they have after sharing with the less fortunate? Loyalty is a priceless gift, and the ultimate goal of all learning is Truth. Peace is more than just the relations between nations and powers, but the calmness of one's own soul. Your own Marines do their best to embody the precept of Faithfulness. Hope is what allows us to continue when our circumstances seem impossible to overcome. Finally Temperance, or moderation, which is they key to both Pantheons."
He shook his head and motioned towards a glass on the table. Taylor nodded, and Elania waited as he slaked his thirst.
"But, as with Cardinal Sins, you have Deadly Virtues," Yorrick warned. "Love taken too far becomes an obsession, Loyalty can turn to blind obedience, and the search for Truth can drive people to unspeakable acts. You must be ever vigilant that the concessions you make for Peace aren't worse than fighting a war. Faith taken to the extreme becomes zealotry. Hope becomes brash overconfidence. Temperance turns from moderation into self-denial, and then to the denial of others."
Yorrick smiled, and this time he seemed sorrowful. "The Empire has seen both sides of the coin," he said. "The truth we have discovered is that it is best to allow people their petty sins because if they stray onto the path of true evil, few will object to the Empire taking the necessary measures to either punish or eliminate them. We've also learned, from firsthand experience, that nothing is more frightening than the overbearing presence of an authority that scrutinizes every aspect of your life and demands unconditional and absolute obedience because those who do so act with the absolute certainty that they are right. We petty evildoers, the followers of the Dark Pantheon, we know when we are doing something wrong. Our doctrine of self-control ensures that if someone goes too far, they are reported to the authorities because their friends and neighbors recognize the problem. In a society that adheres to the Seven Gods of Light, the fact that acting according to their precepts feels good, when combined with the Pantheon's policy of abdicating personal responsibility, encourages Tyranny of the worst sort. I read a quote from one of your world's authors that explains the issue rather elegantly." Yorrick paused and closed his eyes as if to recall the passage. "'Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.'"
"We have accepted our natures," Yorrick continued, his eyes open. "We all have our sins. I especially suffer from Pride and Wrath," he sighed, "in near equal measures. My surname reflects my successful struggle to overcome my own faults, but I know that I must remain ever watchful. I wish you could see the world of Parceus as we fled it. We know that we have accepted Evil powers, but we did so with our eyes open. The Empire's history has shown us that it is better to live amongst sinners than to be constantly held to the standards of the saints."
"I imagine you'll need to consider our request carefully," Yorrick's smile returned. "If hell is repetition, then surely bureaucracy is meant to gather practical experience for one's eventual destination," his smile broadened into a grin. "Is there any chance that you could tell me which official I'll need an appointment with to find a company that could build a cellular network for the Empire?"
"The Federal Communications Commission," Elania replied, her mind rolling over what he'd said. "Taylor can make an appointment for you."
"Excellent," Yorrick replied. "If I may take my leave, I'm sure you have important matters to attend."
Elania nodded and stood, shaking his hand once again, watching as Taylor escorted him out.
Elania had just sat back down behind her desk when Taylor came back into the room.
"That man is dangerous," Taylor said with a shake of her head.
"He is definitely the right man for the job," Elania replied with a sigh.
"I feel like one of us has to say it," Taylor broke the silence. "He's not wrong. At least not about the propensity Americans have to sin against their better interests."
"I think," Elania began slowly, "that we need to put together a fact-finding mission to evaluate the Empire."
Taylor nodded, encouraging her to continue.
"While I don't want to consign any of our citizens to an Empire that freely admits that is Evil, even if they protest that their Evil is a lowercase 'e' sort, half a million Dungeon slots isn't an opportunity we can afford to ignore," Elania went on, her thoughts coalescing. "He was non-specific as to the aid that we could negotiate for, which I do not believe was a mistake or omission on his part."
Taylor blinked. "Come again?" She asked.
"I'm surprised you missed it," Elania flashed her friend and chief of staff a wicked smile. "Maybe you were too distracted by those pretty eyes and that smile?"
"What did I miss?" Taylor asked, dismissing Elania's suggestion with a sniff.
"When he stated that we could negotiate for additional aid, it was after I'd mentioned both the Mana Crystals and the Dungeon slots," Elania replied. "That leads me to believe that the Empire could provide additional Dungeon slots as well Mana Crystals, with the Dungeon Slots being arguably more valuable."
"The big question is just how evil is the Evil Empire, and what can we offer them in return?" She mused.
Comments
Rande Knight
All in the spin. Just advertise as a Libertarian paradise full of opportunity where a single person rises or falls on his own efforts.
Buzz1089
Yeah I didn't like this chapter. Not because of the "evil" character but because I've often read books with characters like that who have a kind of plot armor. So often, the people arguing/talking with them feel dumbed down to ensure that the evil ones argument feels charismatic and successful. Let the evil guy say his piece with well worded arguments sure. But then also let the people arguing with them say their well worded rebuttal. I hate how the President acted in this chapter. I hate how Bob interacted with him last chapter. It feels forced instead of natural and I hate forced plotlines, especially when it requires dumbing down the main characters to accomplish it.
Adam Roundfield
With great imbalance of power comes great opportunities to cheat. Or at least the short sighted perception of such opportunities to cheat...
Adevna
I'm fairly sure "reliable in their predictable self-centeredness" is a descriptor of all humans. Take from that what you will.
Adam Roundfield
The funny thing about most evil people is that they are reliable in their predictable self-centeredness. Evil people also tend to keep each other in check, it is when one of them gets control of, and inevitably weaponizes, a sizeable herd of morons that they really become a problem. Fun fact: "moron" was originally a clinical term for a person with slightly diminished mental capacity, but it was removed from professional use after the morons started using it to insult each other...
Tequila Worm
Tyfc
Andrew
Thank you!
Richard Reid
It's a matter of time they need this information as quickly as possible Even with magic erecting a nationwide cell phone network takes time.
Philipp Gawol
"we need to put together a fact-finding mission to evaluate the Empire", Is the president dumb? The empire literally just asked them to install a cellular network they have no idea how to work or understand properly. This is the country where Edward Snowden happened. Why would the PRESIDENT think they'd need something as easily fooled as a 'fact finding mission', when they're already wiretapping their own janitors for shits-n-giggles? Just install the damn things and let the facts collect themselves. Hell, launch a few satellites for good measure and you can watch Slaneesh dig for boogers. A 'fact-finding-mission' is just asking to get 'North korea'd'.
Mike G.
The best argument for the evil empire would be to bring up the behavior of the Greenwold nobles...
Daniel D.
Well, sending them to the Karcerian Empire would be one way to get rid of all the two-legged predators, whether of the street or office habitats.
