MonroeByJahx
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Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Eight. Fix the problem in front of you.
🕑 Added 2023-04-12 22:52:48 +0000 UTC"This is Bob. I need to talk to the President," Bob said when his call was connected.
Alejandro and Maria exchanged glances.
Bob had never had a sibling, but he'd seen people who were close to each other do that whole communication without words thing. Namely Dave and Amanda.
"Good morning Bob," The President said. "What do you need that can't wait until Thursday?"
"I decided that it would be better to have an abridged conversation now," Bob began. "I'm bringing you an offer from the King of Greenwold. With the Karcerian Empire having ceded Thayland to him, he has found himself with a plethora of Dungeons, but a population of less than eighty million. He's offering to let you, and a few other nations, fill the empty slots. He's charging fifty percent, because, and I quote, 'This isn't about saving Earth, this is just business.' Further, he's capping the amount that governments can tax their people to twenty-five percent."
"That's an interesting offer, and it would go a long way towards solving some of the problems we're facing," Elania said.
"I know," Bob replied flatly. "I'm in LA now, and I just finished a visit to LAD7."
"What are you planning on doing?" The President asked.
"The right thing," Bob said. "I just wanted to let you know before I did it."
The line was silent for a moment, and the Bob heard the President sigh.
"It'll take a few days to get things rolling," Elania began. "I'll charge ten percent, for which I'll provide food, shelter and security. I'll try and ramp things up as quickly as I can, but we only have a few people who punch through to Thayland."
"I'm charging nothing until they're capped, then they put up twenty-five percent for their next thousand delves into a fund to reincarnate the people who need it. If the fund somehow ever becomes solvent, it'll go to funding schools," Bob said.
"You aren't the government, Bob," The President said.
"Obviously," Bob growled, "I'm going to delay my vacation to get things rolling. I just wanted to give you a headsup so you aren't surprised."
He tapped the phone, ending the call.
"The fuck was that about? Who were you talking to?" Alejandro asked.
"Was that, like, The President?" Maria asked, her eyes wide. "Who are you?"
"If I reincarnate your grandparents, will you gather up the rest of the people here who need and bring them down to the sidewalk?" Bob asked, ignoring their questions. "I don't want to go door to door. This is going to take long enough as it is."
Maria's eyes brightened. "Of course, if you fix them, we'll do anything you want."
"Maria!" Alejandro scolded. "We don't know who this guy is, and he's starting to act shady."
Bob fished a hundred mana crystals from his inventory, making sure the kids could see them in his hand as he walked over and gently laid a hand on their grandmother.
"How many people here need reincarnations?" Bob asked.
"There used to be five hundred patients here, but after things went bad and the medicine ran out, there are a lot less," Alejandro said. "Three hundred I guess? Maybe less."
"That's gonna take the rest of the day," Bob muttered, then shook his head. "Once you get things rolling for me, I'll open a portal to a Dungeon in Glacier Valley in Thayland. You can run it right away, but you'll need to pay the King of Greenwold fifty percent of the crystals you get. He's a tier nine Dragon, and you do not annoy dragons, so make sure to keep careful track of how much you owe him."
"Seriously, who the fuck are you?" Alejandro demanded.
"My name," Bob said as he finished casting the reincarnation ritual, "is Robert Whitman. I've also been called The Reef, and He Who Walks Before. I'm pretty sure my cat thinks I'm his human-servant." He smiled down at the old woman as the magic took hold and turned back the clock, returning to an age only slightly older than her grandchildren. She looked up at him in confusion, then over at her grandchildren. Bob looked at Alejandro. "I'm an Adventurer, and I'm here to help."
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Bob resumed his tier eight form once he was back on the sidewalk. There wasn't a lot of foot traffic, but there were a few startled yelps as he shifted.
He'd equipped his armor, armband, and headset as the change took place, avoiding the inconvenience of being momentarily naked.
He tapped his armband, initiating a group call. It took a few seconds for everything to link up, but he finally heard the double beep that signaled everyone was on the call.
"Hey, sorry to be that guy, but LA is super fucked," Bob said without preamble. "I need Jessica and Erick down here asap to start throwing reincarnation rituals, and I need Dave, Amanda, Eddi, and Bailli to start opening portals to Glacier Valley."
"Okay," Dave said slowly. "What happened?"
"Ran into a couple of kids who were barely able to keep their grandparents alive because the hospitals ran out of medicine, and the staff at the hospice bailed after they didn't get paid, or at least didn't get paid in crystals," Bob replied.
"Ouch," Amanda said.
"They were using Monroe's blessing to keep them alive," Bob shook his head.
"Fuck," Jack said.
"We've got your location on the ship's sensors. We'll be down in a few minutes," Mike said.
Bob ended the call and pulled two things out of his inventory.
The first was his air-conditioned pavilion. It was a warm sunny day in southern California, and he was going to be out there for a while. The second was Monroe, who barely twitched, his nap undisturbed as he leaned against Bob's leg. He didn't really have to reach to dig his fingers into the gargantuan Maine-coon's ruff.
He knew he was acting rashly, but it was pretty clear that whatever the government was doing, it wasn't enough.
"Fuck, you're really him," Alejandro said as he helped carry an elderly man to the pavilion, his partner a kid who couldn't have started shaving yet.
"Here, use this," Bob said, wrapping a persistent effect around a Summon Mana-Infused Object spell, creating a cot under the pavilion. "And this," he continued, casting the spell again, this time creating a portable stretcher.
The kid's eyes were wide at the casual use of magic, reinforcing the fact that despite the System bringing true equality to the world, it hadn't been realized for everyone just yet.
Bob was in the middle of the reincarnation ritual when a portal opened, the magic a beautiful shade of stormy grey that exactly matched the eyes of its creator.
Bailli strode out of the portal with the others following. She looked around, and the pointed at Bob. "Once you're done, bring out your Summoner's Redoubt configured as a field hospital," she ordered.
"Then you're going to open a portal to Thayland, and Wayna and I are going to go get some more help," Mike said. "You should probably let someone in charge know what you're doing as well."
"I already called the President," Bob replied as he finished the ritual.
"Good hook to have," Mike grunted, looking around at the dull hospice buildings. "Bailli, take Jack with you and scout out the area. We need to know where people are if we're going to help them, and we'll probably have to relocate after we clear this area."
"Did someone call for a healer?" Jessica asked as she sauntered up to the pavilion. She had clearly been prepared for the vacation part of the vacation. Unlike the rest of the team, who were wearing their armor, she was wearing a silver bikini that was the much larger, yet still just as revealing twin of the white one she'd worn the last time they'd visited Hawaii.
Bob shook his head and swallowed, averting his eyes, which allowed him to see Alejandro leading the kid, who was gaping in awe at the beautifully Amazonian Aussie, and his confused grandfather away from the pavilion.
"I bet that kid's voice just dropped half an octave," Amanda whispered quietly.
"As much as we all appreciate the view," Bob began, "I think things would be easier if you were geared up."
"No fun," Jessica pouted, but pulled a breezy sundress from her inventory and slid it on over her bikini. "And it's too nice out to wear armor."
Bob shook his head and started casting his Summoner's Redoubt spell. There were a lot of people here who needed his help.
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"Mike, what's up?" Eric Waters said, pulling his friend into a hug. "Didn't expect to see you again so soon."
"Yeah, well, you know we were going back to Earth, right?" Mike asked.
"Sure, you said you'd be heading back at some point," Eric agreed. "Any chance you can take another load of mail?"
"I don't think the mail is getting delivered reliably," Mike said grimly. "Bob was in LA today, and it's bad."
"What do you mean by 'bad?'" Eric asked, his smile fading. "The messages we've gotten said the government is feeding everyone and working people through the Dungeons."
"A couple of kids asked Bob for help. They were taking care of their grandparents, who were in hospice before the integration," Mike replied. "Turns out the hospitals ran out of medicine and the nurses weren't getting paid, so they just got lost. And it's not just them."
"Fuck," Eric cursed.
"So of course, Bob reincarnated them and asked everyone to help gather up everyone who needed it," Mike grinned.
"Bob for the motherfuckin' win," Eric grinned.
"I guess he called the President beforehand and told her not to be surprised when she saw him on TV clearing up the mess," Mike added.
"So I'm guessing you guys need some help?" Eric asked.
"Healers, mostly," Mike agreed. "Do you have anyone who can portal to Earth?"
"Fuck no," Eric spat, "we're just now getting a few of us close to the tier seven cap. If we'd been able to get back and forth to Earth, and we knew shit wasn't as advertised, there wouldn't be a mess for Bob to clean up."
"Yeah, at the moment Bob is the only one who can do it, although Bailli and Dave are getting close," Mike said. "I was kind of hoping you had a few specialists."
"Nah, some of us have it as a secondary, but there are a lot of other things to do with your points, and not everyone wants to sign up for being a taxi," Eric said.
"Well, he's going to crank open a portal in Glacier Valley to bring anyone who wants to help back over to LA," Mike sighed. "He won't ask, but any crystals you want to bring would help as well. Most of us are sitting on a cool half million crystals, but I don't know if that's going to be enough."
"Damn, you've been busy," Eric shook his head. "Most of us are over six figures on crystals. It just doesn't cost that much to live, and delving once a week sort of feels like giving up, you know?"
"No, I don't. I'm with Bob, remember?" Mike grinned.
"True enough," Eric said as he pulled out his phone and started tapping out a message. "An hour is pretty short notice, but I'll get you guys who can reincarnate, and some others with secondary support roles as well."
"Thanks," Mike said, offering Eric a knuckle bump.
"Semper Fi," Eric replied.
"Semper Fi," Mike agreed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"They're just letting old people die?" A voice roared from the chaos.
Wayna hadn't expected to find the Endless leadership gathered for a monthly meeting, but she'd taken advantage of it to plead her case.
"It's too soon to know how this happened, but the important thing is that we can help now," Wayna shouted.
"What," A voice called, and the crowd quieted immediately. "What," the voice repeated, "is He doing?"
"Bob is having all the people that need reincarnating brought to him," Wayna replied, watching as the crowd parted revealing Ani.
"Of course," Ani murmured as she turned to face the crowd, a flight spell raising her up so they could all see her. "We are once again called to service," she said, her words carrying across the massive auditorium. "He Who Walks Before has found another wrong in need of righting, and selflessly set to his task," she began. "We know from his holy works that he will not stop before the work is done, yet his humble nature drives him to request any aid that might be given, despite knowing that we owe him everything." Ani shook her head. "Will the Endless forget the debt we cannot repay?" She asked. "Or will we follow the path he has shown us, and help show the world that there is goodness to be found? Will the Endless stand with He Who Walks Before?"
Wayna frowned as the crowd roared again, this time in approval.
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Elania read the report that Taylor had managed to dig up.
When they'd returned to Earth after the integration, there had been so many things that had needed her immediate attention. Most of those revolved around basic human needs: water, food, and shelter. Healing magic meant that hospitals weren't the priority they had been, nor was manufacturing medicine.
They'd gotten ahead of themselves, not realizing that some conditions couldn't be cured without ritual magic, and that some people weren't in good shape before the integration.
"I remember getting a highlight of this," Elania muttered. "We lost fifteen percent of our population over the age of eighty in the first two weeks back because we ran out of essential medication. I thought that we'd determined that the rest of them could hang on until a loved one reincarnated them, or we finally had the resources to start reincarnating those who didn't have anyone."
"We did," Taylor agreed. "What we didn't take into consideration was that someone was going to have to take care of them until then."
Elania grimaced. An enterprising reporter had waylaid one of the two kids that had set Bob off, and the whole story had come out. Going into debt to care for his grandparents as they grew worse and worse, driven to the desperate measure of carrying them into the Dungeon, leveling them up, and finding the 'Naptime' blessing that had finally allowed them halt the decline, even if it didn't cure them.
It was heartbreaking.
The young man had, of course, praised Bob to the heavens, even reciting Bob's side of the phone call she'd had with him, which was one of the few highlights, as she didn't come out of that looking like a monster, just uninformed.
The news was now covering what was being called 'The Redemption of LA' as thousands of healers, members of both the Old Guard and the Endless, had been portaled over from Thayland and were working tirelessly to make sure that no one died from anything that a reincarnation could fix. Which was, to be fair, pretty much everything.
Of course, the centerpiece of the story was Bob. He'd worked through the day, and was continuing into the night, tirelessly casting ritual after ritual, Monroe at his side.
He cut a heroic figure at tier eight, his eyes an impossible shade of violet and his platinum blond hair looking more like actual platinum than ever. As he spoke to his patients, you could see the calming effect he had on them as his quiet voice reassured them that they would be alright now.
"We could have handled it," Taylor said quietly as she looked at the television screens.
"We could have, but not as quickly," Elania sighed. "The problem is that we have to deal with life and death decisions for the country every single day, and we can't save everyone. Bob doesn't have that burden. He's just fixing the one problem he found."
"We're going to get hammered for this." Taylor shook her head.
"In this instance, we deserve it," Elania replied. "The best thing we can do is help as much as we can, which means pulling together the people we need to run the Dungeons on Thayland."
"We can pull the personnel we have in the rural areas," Taylor suggested. "For the most part, they aren't doing anything because the locals neither want nor need their help."
"Let's get that ball rolling," Elania said. "It would be nice to have them ready when Bob shows up on Thursday. He's the one who can open a portal back to Thayland, so we can have him send them through."
Comments
Christopher Royce
Bob doing Bob things is fun reading. But when Bob gets on a mission, dragging everyone else around him along, fun reading turns into fantastic reading! I can hardly wait for more.
Vaughn Fredericks
Saint Robert Whitman, The Reef, Servant of Monroe, Saviour of Earth. Once more unto the breach!
Andrew
Thank you!
Tequila Worm
Tyfc also i hope there never comes a day earth fully fucks around and finds out with bob
Thomas
Is it wrong that I wish Jahx had retired a year earlier so I could get more double chapter days?
X Blade
agreed
X Blade
Nice
Andre Washington
^_^
Torbjørn Nilsen
Listening to Wash It All Away - by Deathpunch while reading this was the right choice. Good stuff, both music, and reading. :)
Aaron
Absolutely everything I was hoping for from this chapter :O 10/10.
