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Feedback for Ch 7
🕑 Added 2022-10-31 04:18:30 +0000 UTCI want to explain my intentions for Chapter 7 and why it took so long to write.
Usually each chapter has one central goal. In this chapter, there are many. Trying to balance them all was very difficult. This chapter was hugely important and I couldn’t half ass any of it.
1. Introduce Dr. Carson and his clinic
2. Provide exposition for JPS
3. Show Luke’s acceptance of having a pussy
4. Hint at Coach’s conflicted feelings
5. Have a filthy sex scene that makes the wait worth it
I especially struggled with 2 and 3. I wonder if the JPS explanation is enough (I’m aware nobody has actually said ’Jock Pussy Syndrome’ yet, that will come later). For any readers who are unfamiliar with JPS, what did you think of Dr. Carson’s explanation?
And I wonder if Luke’s turn is believable? I’m worried it’s too rushed but it’s something he’s been fighting against for a while. In a way I wanted to show that his relief at finally understanding what is happening to him helps him accept his pussy.
If anybody has any feedback on these points I’d greatly appreciate it. Even though the chapter is complete, it’s still not done. I’m not satisfied with it and I don’t feel like I’ve sufficiently reached those goals I have.
