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Newly Summoned Demoness - Chapter 55 – Red and Black, Blue and Green

🕑 Added 2023-10-18 11:55:09 +0000 UTC

Comments

Luboš Hemala

I like this chapter, however Yolani comes off as too trusting/blasé, about her being a demon. I would expect more dialog/interactions that would allow them to see each other's character. There should be some initial tension at least, or does Yolani have any good experiences with demons so far?

MrAlwaysRight

It’s a little too obvious that they’ll be romancing one another, feels a bit forced.

M. Lampi

Consuming chickens could give her wings.... Suggestions: A heavy gust of wind erupted from the shop, blasting the man into the hair to tumble across the pavement several meters away. ==> (not sure what you wanted, but "into the hair" isn't likely it) Edit: "Into the *air*" The girl's emerald, green eyes sparkled ==> The girl's emerald green eyes sparkled But she didn't lower the wand and release whatever magic she had intended. ==> But she didn't lower the wand or release whatever magic she had intended. she'd barely side-stepped going down into Ranolf's layer for something likely just as sinister. ==> she'd barely side-stepped going down into Ranolf's lair for something likely just as sinister.


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