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Useless: Chapter 22
🕑 Added 2025-07-30 02:05:40 +0000 UTCRoslyn Joxan looked down the causeway seeing her last chance at evacuation wash away like a sandcastle at high tide. The bridge that connected her little community with the mainland slid down Narragansett Bay and then under the storm water. She looked down at her shivering dog. “I’m sorry Blu, looks like we’ll have to go back home.”
She had wanted to head north to safety sooner, but all the roads looked like they were blocked with traffic when she last checked online. The woman turned the car around and drove the five minutes back to her modest summer cottage. Her roof was losing tiles, and her garden was torn up like a giant chicken had pecked through it. Behind her house was the shore, its churning matched the anxiety she was feeling.
The wind howled as she carried her terrified poodle back in the house. She set the dog down and gave her a deluxe topping over her dry kibble. Blu started to eat reluctantly as her eyes shifted to the slamming storm door. Roslyn checked the lights and saw that all the power was out, so she ran back to her car in her raincoat to fetch her emergency bag of flashlights, flares, water, and granola bars.
“Damn it, I should have just visited my mother when I had the chance.” She cursed when she opened the door to the basement and saw water was almost up to the top step of the stairs. Outside the howling was now accompanied by a chorus of what sounded like trains.
“Get a grip, what can I do now?” The water showed no signs of abating. It was more like it was just getting started. Hurricane Abigail was turning out to be a grade-A bitch. She slapped herself in the face to psyche herself up. She went to her storage shed and fished out her life preserver and her Blu’s as well. On the side of the shed was her beat up sea kayak. She looked at the kayak and the edge of the roof, and back again.
Taking the kayak, she put the edge of the small craft onto the edge of the low roofed bungalow. She then put up her old wooden ladder and got up on the roof and pulled the heavy plastic kayak up and set it against the chimney so it wouldn’t roll down again. A few minutes later she managed to get her bugout bag, her life preservers, a paddle, and her poor dog up on the roof. When she was done she had to take a break from the exhaustion.
The water was now coming up through the floorboards. She heard the sounds of sea in her own living room when she left it last to get onto the relative safety of the rooftop. She was buffeted by the wind and rain and looked across the churning waters of the bay. Massive trees bobbed like corks down the torrents of water, even as the stormsurge met it. Her eyes opened wide when the first of the houses started coming down the bay. The houses seemed like they would float for a moment before turning over and get consumed by a roiling mass of wet debris. She looked at her own meager dwelling and held her dog tighter, she could feel the dog shivering through her rain jacket.
“Fuck… fuck, fuckety, fuck.” She looked at her phone, no bars. What were they going to do? Sure no problem we’ll send over a boat lickety split. “I’m sorry Blu, you’re much too old to be going through this.” She rocked back and forth attempting to calm the small black dog.
She was considering prayer when she saw the first of the drones appear. Great mechanical monsters that haunted her dreams for a few days after the battle of Boston. They varied in size and in behavior, some flitted around with high beam lights as if they were looking for something. Other bulkier drones lumbered to the rooftops of apartment buildings, where she could see people crawl inside of them and be carried off to the west.
“Bug out bag!” She put down Blu into the seat of the kayak and rummaged through her backpack. Out came an orange flare. Roslyn’s finger traced over the brief instructions frantically. “Hold downwind.. got it.”
She stood up tall and struck the tip of the flare with the cap. Smoke and light erupted from the tip and she held it at arms length at the edge of the house. Soon enough a drone the size of a pizza box hummed along with its bright searchlight.
A robotic voice burst from its speaker under the camera module. “Hello endangered human. Your request for help has been recognized. Please allow the current drones in your area enough time to evacuate their current passengers. You are …. Seventh….in line. Please remain where you are and you will be rescued at the earliest possible time. This service has been brought to you by the Gatanaxian orbital guard system.” It waved a small robotic arm at her in a friendly way.
“I don’t know how much longer my house will be standing buddy. I need help now!” She looked up and yelled while waving the sputtering flare over her head. “Anybody! Please send help!” Blu started howling her agreement with Roslyn’s pleas. The drone flitted off scanning for more people to save.
Just then, she heard the sickening groan of the timber of her house being bent and broken. She dropped her flare and went to Blu. “Baby I’m so sorry. Maybe the kayak will keep us safe. Get in your life jacket.” Blu looked at Roslyn with rheumy eyes but did as she was told.
“This is so stupid.” She sat in the kayak and waited for the waters to lap up to the roof of the bungalow. The house deformed in a tragic way and a moment later Roslyn and Blu were on the stinking brown storm surge of hurricane Abigail.
The kayak was no match for the stormy water and within a few minutes the kayak rolled over, causing the woman and dog to fall off into the water. Roslyn held onto the kayak with one hand and the handle of Blu’s life jacket with the other. A tree branch lurched between her and Blu and smashed down on her forearm. The woman instinctively let go, and when the branch passed by Blu was nowhere to be seen.
“Blu! Bluuuuuu! Goddamn it!” Roslyn despaired at that moment and started to cry. She tried to get back into her kayak but her clothing just weighed her down. Holding on for dear life, she hoped against hope that she would find a safe space to land.
She felt a tap on her back. “Miss, is this your dog?” She looked around to see a man in a blue and yellow supersuit holding Blu and floating in the air.
“Em…Emboss?” She could help but look him over before speaking. “Blu! Thank you!”
“Let’s get you out of the rain.” A shimmering blue form appeared around her and lifted her, her kayak and a huge amount of brown seawater out of the bay. The forcefield seemed to drain away the water like a sieve from various holes which closed up when it was emptied.
The superhero got inside the shimmering field with her and the dog. It was shaped like an almond with a large opening for ventilation. “You have to watch the edges, they’re wicked sharp. I’ll eventually get the hang of rounded off curves to make them safer.”
As the field-craft lifted into the air, Roslyn saw herself high above the churning sea and she panicked. She wrapped her arms around Emboss and hugged him tight.
Blu jumped on his lap and tried to wedge herself between Emboss and Roslyn. “Hey easy there pup. I’m driving here. Lady, things are going to be OK, I’m taking you to a shelter on higher ground, on the other side of Route 1, it’ll take a few minutes. Cover your ears, it’s going to get windy.”
The blue almond shot through the air, and Roslyn could feel her ears pop at the lowered pressure. She clung to him and closed her eyes. It felt like he was warm and muscular. I’m being saved by a goddamn man, this is so embarrassing. Why am I turned on by this? She tried to stammer out a word of thanks. “I’m so…so grateful for what you did. Blu says thanks too.” The dog barked and licked his face, making Emboss laugh.
“Only doing my job Miss. Next time please heed the warnings of local authorities.” She felt that he had said those words more than once today.
The land underneath them flew by quickly and she could see the effects of the storm diminish as they fled from it. Soon he dropped the blue almond down near a high school that had people walking into it from the rain.
Roslyn picked herself up and hooked the leash she had in her pocket onto Blu. Emboss shook her hand and said goodbye one last time.
“Hey Emboss, would you mind if I gave you my phone number?” She twisted her foot in embarrassment.
Emboss chuckled. “Sorry miss, I’m spoken for, several times over. Stay safe.” He bolted up into the air and headed for the bay again.
“Damn…” She tugged gently on Blu’s leash. “Come on you old fart, let's get you warm and dry. …No, I don’t know why he brought the kayak, but I’m glad he did, it would have been long gone by now.”
…
Sally was taking a moment to collect her thoughts while she sat off the Newport bridge. The sky swarmed with Gatanaxian drones, all orchestrated by a very busy Donadd, floating in her control shuttle a few thousand feet in the air. She was about to step off the edge when she heard a sonic boom and turned around.
“And just where have you been Dan?” Sally crossed her arms.
“I thought I was Emboss when I was on the clock.” He gave a cocky grin. “If you must know, I saved a drowning woman and her dog.”
She poked him in the chest lightly. “It’s funny how you’re always rescuing girls.”
“They’re a vast majority of the population! What can I say I have a thing for women in need.” He laughed in shock. “I’m sorry I dashed off like that, but I heard her voice. Come on, she had a puppers.”
Dan really wanted to hug Sally and kiss her, but he had been told that there was no lovey dovey during events like this. So he simply held her hand. She still blushed and looked away. “We should see if anyone needs more help.”
“I just checked. Besides for a few stubborn old ladies who hit the drones with their canes, everyone is accounted for. Donadd is starting to send up some of the drones already.”
“Then I should send the New York and DC groups back home.” She touched her throat. “USDSAP command, this is Sally Comet. Do you read?”
“Sally, this is mission control.” A shortwave distorted voice spoke into both their earpieces.
“I’m hearing we’re dropping to condition yellow? Do we need New York and DC anymore?”
A few moments later the radio crackled again. “Condition yellow confirmed, we will be transferring command to NEMA within the hour. We’ll contact NY and DC momentarily. Thank you Blazers, always a pleasure working with Boston.”
“Thanks command, we’ll pack up our things and head home. You know where to reach us.” She removed her hand from her throat.
A whoosh of plasma jet came into earshot and the heroes looked out over the East Passage to see Donadd’s lumbering bus of a shuttle.
A hatch popped open and a very tired but smiling Donadd looked out and waved. “Hey guys, wanna hitch a ride? It’d be nice to have someone to talk to on the way home.”
…
The three of them sat on a comfy settee in a break room on the shuttle. When Dan sat down, Donadd immediately hopped up and snuggled him and quickly fell asleep. Sally shook her head and did almost the exact same thing, but stayed awake and held Dan’s hand.
Sally traced her finger over the back of his hand, feeling the fabric. “She saved a lot of lives, Dan. I don’t know where we would have been without her and her drone fleet. We’d likely be tasked with finding bodies.” She shivered. “I hate that duty.”
“We each have our talents. I only hope this cements her positive image with the public.” He playfully tried capturing Sally’s tracing finger. She was always just fast enough to pull away.
“Oh, she might get an official commendation or two.” She wiggled closer. “Don’t worry about her. You might get one too, even though you only saved 1% of what she did.”
“Yeah, she’s a good kid.” Dan smiled and leaned his head onto Sally’s affectionately.
“Dan.”
“Yeah, Sally.”
“When you were being interviewed, you said you were in love with more than one of us.”
“Yes…” He said teasingly.
“Well, who do you love?”
“I know I’m in love with Silvi. I’m on my way with Cygnus, against my better judgement. And I’m in love with you.”
She sat upright. “Really?”
“Of course. How could anyone not fall in love with those pretty blue eyes of yours. Oh shit.”
“What.”
“Physalis.”
“What about her?”
“What happened to her?”
“Oh my god Dan, you only just realized she left the group? Why do you think you have a room at HQ?” She shoved him, almost waking Donadd.
“I am so embarrassed. What happened?”
“After the attack on Boston, she skipped town thinking there’d be some backlash against supes that looked different from humans. She’s not an alien though, just an extremely successful experiment on slime molds. She got bitter before she left too. Physalis basically had to fight off Silvi, she kept trying to drag Physalis back to base.”
“Where is she now?”
“I don’t know, I think Silvi said she was touring Europe. She hoped that they would be more accepting of her.”
“She should come back too, now that Donadd saved so many people.”
“I’ll give her a call. I still can’t believe you forgot about her. But yeah, people come and go in supergroups all the time. Just part of the business.”
The door to the break room slid open and the rest of the Blazers filed in. Silvi’s eyes brightened and then dimmed knowing she couldn’t sit next to him. Dan gave her a wink, which made her eyes sparkle again. Sister In Law found a leather chair and zonked out.
Deleria rubbed a towel in her soaking hair. “When I get back home, I am going to take the longest shower of my life. I don’t know what was in that water, but it certainly wasn’t clean. Dan, you could always hop in with me and give me a deep scrubbing.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Oh no, I called him first, see?” Sally raised her hand clasping Dan’s.
Dan simply shrugged. “I’ll take a rain check, Dee. How was your work?”
“Me and Obi got in a drone and Donadd sent us to wherever people were in real danger but were being stubborn about evacuating.” She plopped down across from the three sitting. “I convinced them to come. And you?”
“Usual superhero stuff. Cats in trees, boats on rooftops.” Dan’s eyes half closed. “You know, this is the first time I’ve felt even the slightest bit tired.”
Obi yawned. “It’s been a fifteen hour day Dan, using your powers to their full capability.” She walked to a porthole in the ship. “You’re bound to get a little tired from all that. It never affects your work though, it’s like your brain wants to be normal and fakes being tired.” She pointed out the window. “There’s Fenway, we’re almost home.”
Helicopters were hovering over Blazer HQ, trying to get a glimpse of the heroes going back inside after landing on the rooftop. Dan princess carried Donadd out of the shuttle and to the roof access door. He looked up at the helicopters filming and gave a thumbs up to say that the alien wasn’t hurt, just tired.
Down below, Dan felt OK enough to put Donadd to bed without a shower. She had stayed in the shuttlecraft the entire time. He, on the other hand, jumped into a hot shower after dumping his suit into the industrial strength washing machine built just for supersuits. After scrubbing down he slipped into a hot bath that was prepared at the same time.
“Yeah, my brain is definitely telling me that it is normal to feel this good in a hot bath after a long day's work.” The water felt wonderful. He heard the shower turn on again for a few minutes and then off. Sally stepped into the tub room in a white towel, with a look on her face that seemed to say ‘you’re all mine’.
She tossed the towel to reveal her purified body in all its healthy glory. Dan shook his head in admiration. She slipped into the water and straddled him, making the steaming water slosh out of the tub and onto the tiled floor.
She grinned and stared into his eyes. “You love me.” Saying the words like she was stating a fact.
“Yes I do.”
Her lips met his, and her hands held him by the shoulders. After a few precious moments of kissing she sat down on him. He wasn’t yet hard, but this caused his manhood to stir.
“I have a confession to make.” She bit her lip.
“What, Sally?”
“When you brought up Physalis, it reminded me of my first time with you at Cloud Nine. Remember when I went mad and broke through the metal wall to get to you?”
“How could I forget?”
“Well, when I saw it was you on the other side of the wall, my heart skipped a beat.” She gave him an eskimo kiss. “I think I fell for you then. I love you Dan, and I’m never going to let you go.”
