Illiriel
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173: We Are Never Going to be Done With This “Saved a Million Babies” Thing, Are We?
🕑 Added 2025-12-02 03:36:13 +0000 UTC“This stinks,” Ashtoreth said, frowning down at the crude map of the cosmos that she’d drawn into the scorched earth before her.
Hunter spared a glance at the giant, smoldering lizard corpse behind them. “You could have just let me cut its head off.”
“I’m not talking about the lizard carcass,” she said. She frowned. “That smells bad to you? Anyway, I’m talking about the situation.”
“Is this bad?” Frost asked, staring down at the dotted line that she’d drawn between the circle that represented their current realm and their next proposed jump, which was a realm belonging to the Eldunari. “We’ll use their warp conduits to get straight back to Earth. This is the best possible outcome.”
Ashtoreth stared down at the map and sighed. “I don’t want to.”
“Tough,” said Frost. “We need them too much, and you’ve trusted them too much already, to pass this up. They’re our allies, Ashtoreth.”
She groaned. “And if one of them is level 2000, and they figure out that human high command doesn’t know where we are, they can pretend I attacked them and kill me to seize the monarchy. The human bossmen might even prefer that, now that I helped fight off the initial wave.”
“I don’t want to have this conversation again,” said Frost. “Enough of them have read your mind that they won’t believe whatever excuse some opportunist gives them for killing us.”
“I don’t trust them.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to trust them. They’ll never trust me.”
“Again, tough,” he said. “Humanity chose them for its allies, and for good reasons. This is your job, Ashtoreth, even if you don’t like it.”
She frowned, shrinking away from him and feeling a little wounded. At the same time… she had to admit he was right, and that made her feel like she’d just been fishing for reassurances.
When had Frost gotten all strict on her?
She crossed her arms. “You’re just saying that because they saved a bunch of babies.”
“And you’re just joking now because you’ve already changed your mind. Let’s get going—they need us back on Earth.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Get the spell ready, you two,” Frost said to Hunter and Sadie before turning back to Ashtoreth. “And remember what that sage said before. They might test you just to justify their belief that you can’t ever work out as the Monarch of Earth.”
“Believe me,” said Ashtoreth. “I remember.”
*
{Hasarian Veln — Level 950 Elf}
“This is not only highly unusual. It’s quite impossible.”
They stood in a warp terminal that was just as ostentatious as the one they’d met the sage in prior, with polished marble pillars that stretched a hundred feet into the air supporting a ceiling made of glass or crystal that sparkled with the light of the blue sky outside.
A wide circle of runes glowed on the floor around them, a containment spell that had likely activated before their teleport even finished.
The elf before them—Hasarian Veln—eyed them with an expression that was a mix of both curiosity and the serene passivity that seemed so common to elves.
“How, then?” he asked. “How is the archfiend here? You are all human, and at your levels you may come here as you will. We ought to have word of your coming, but we will set that matter aside, for now. An infernal of her level cannot bypass the filters. And your illusions are hiding nothing from us, not in this place.”
Ashtoreth swallowed. “Yes. Okay. Well, see, the thing is… that’s classified.”
“Classified.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’ll just have to ask the human bossmen that one. It’s their secret to give out.”
The elf seemed thoughtful for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak.
“Actually,” Ashtoreth said, interrupting him. “You know what? Your people probably know the answer to that too, now. Just ask your bossmen.”
The elf was quiet for a moment that drew on into an uncomfortable silence. “Bossmen,” he said at last.
“Yeah,” she said. “You know how it is. I report to some humans who report to some other humans… it’s all very anti-monarchist, honestly.”
“Anti… monarchist?” he said, a note of suspicion entering his voice.
Ashtoreth smacked her forehead. “Oh,” she said. “Sorry. I’m the Monarch of Earth, the human homeworld.”
The elves’ eyes widened almost imperceptibly.
“Just like… I dunno, maybe call some people? We’re trying to get back to Earth after an operation that we planned with your leadership went, uh…” she sucked in a breath. “Concluded,” she finished.
The elf stared at her for a while. Once again, the silence stretched on until it was uncomfortable.
“Wait here,” he said at last. “I must consult with the Elder Council.” A moment later, he’d teleported away.
Ashtoreth looked around at the vast, brightly-lit open space. “How many invisible elves do you think have guns pointed at us right now?”
“Guns?” Kylie asked. “Not bows? I mean he called it the ‘Elder Council.’ They’re hardly avoiding stereotypes here.”
Ashtoreth snickered.
“Better question, though,” Kylie said. “You guys think they’ve got any spare mana to fill me up with before we get back? Ashtoreth said she’s not full, so I don’t want to take hers.”
“Mana?” Frost asked. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
“What?” she said defensively. “Whenever I’m on Earth I’ve got a ghost brigade that’s basically always working—patrolling, training, that kind of stuff. I’m going to have to re-conjure all of them once we get back, and we’ve definitely got a big meeting coming up ASAP. I don’t want to waste time having to stop at my mana reserves as soon as we get back.”
“Mana reserves?” Frost asked. “You mean those guys that just wait around at HQ all day?”
“Yeah. Those guys.”
Frost sighed.
“What?” Kylie said. “Don’t judge me for my mana reserves. That was a good solution to a difficult problem.”
“They stand around doing nothing all day,” he said. “Nothing rewarding in their work to speak of.”
“Oh, please,” Kylie said. “That’s what those guys who guard the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier do, and the military hardly treats them like a pack of poor sods.”
Frost reached up to rub his forehead. “Are you kidding me with that comparison, or are you serious?”
“What?” Kylie said again. “Come on. At least this dead person says thank you.”
“Do you, though?” Frost asked.
Kylie paused for just a moment before saying, “And what makes you think that none of those big, strong soldier boys hate hanging out with each other all day and having me occasionally show up to give them a scrap of approval?”
There was the sound of stifled laughter from behind them, and everyone turned to see Hunter and Sadie with their heads together, trying to suppress their amusement.
“What’s funny?” Ashtoreth asked.
“Uh, nothing,” said Hunter.
“We were just talking about, uh… books,” said Sadie. “Like schoolbooks.”
“Like Catcher in the Rye,” said Hunter. He hesitated a moment, then added, “Which sucked.”
The elf reappeared in a flash of light, drawing all their attention. “I would like you to report on your operation,” he said. “What happened once you got to the outer market?”
“No.”
The elf just stared at her, silent. She got the feeling that he could keep it up for a while.
“The Eldunari were in on this from the start,” she said. “And we had to come home by a circuitous route. That’s all I’ll say.”
He remained silent.
She shrugged. “Talk to your people if you need to,” she said. “But I report to Earth, and I can whole-heartedly guarantee you that the Eldunari who the humans trust with their intel will be in the room when I make my report.”
He remained silent.
“I don’t know if you know this or not, sir,” Frost began, “but your own people have read her mind, and so I’m sure that someone can assure you she’s trustworthy. Ashtoreth is a servant of Earth and humanity, and humans take operational security very seriously, especially since the initialization and invasion. We’re not telling you because it’s our duty not to tell you. I’m sorry.”
The elf regarded them for a moment. “I must consult the Elder Council,” he said at last, disappearing a moment later.
“I feel like we just asked him to check the back for some free passage to Earth,” said Kylie.
“Hey, at least he’s checking.”
“You guys think Frost should just do the talking when it comes to the elves from now on?” Ashtoreth asked. “Because I think that knowing my limits is a sign of wisdom, and I’m wise enough to acknowledge that someone else should shoulder this responsibility.”
“Honestly, Ashtoreth, I get the feeling that you’d get farther with them if you were just slower and more respectful,” he said.
She made a noncommittal noise. “I just don’t see why the first time he called his bossmen didn’t do it. They know who I am.”
The elf was gone for longer, this time around, and they sat on the cool stone floor while they waited.
“Huh,” Ashtoreth said after a while.
“What is it?” Kylie asked.
He’s still my familiar, she thought, cautious of being overheard by elves. I can’t dismiss him because of our contract… but I still have the ability that summoned him.
“No way to exploit that?” Kylie asked.
Not that I know of, she said. But if there is, we’d better find it as soon as we get back to Earth. I doubt he’ll be tied to me for long. Even if Nadir and Massemeliact broke the soulmap in their fighting, he can get another one… and from the look of things, Nadir had more than enough power to keep it safe.
“Another thing to figure out back at Earth, then,” Kylie said.
Sure, said Ashtoreth. Then she added, I wonder if I’ll get my ability back. That’s fair, right?
“What ability?”
It summons demons.
Kylie eyed her. “Summons? As in, ‘pulls existing demons from somewhere?’”
“From one of the pits, yes.”
“O-kay,” she said slowly. “But… wouldn’t they just turn on you as soon as they see whose side you’re on?”
Ashtoreth gave her curious look. “...No?”
Both of them laughed. This was interrupted a moment later by the return of the level 950 elf. His impassive expression seemed to bear the slightest hint of boiling rage as he looked at Ashtoreth. “You may use the warp conduit to return to Earth,” he said. “Please come with me.”
