Illiriel
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151: Admit it: You Have to be a Bit of an Edgelord to Pick Black
🕑 Added 2025-08-17 21:09:53 +0000 UTCAshtoreth felt Dazel go rigid where he sat in her lap. “Uh… yeah…” he said.
She had to admire Sadie’s cleverness in deciding to attack now. With Hunter’s mom and Raven around, Dazel would be limited in how nasty he could get, but the humans had probably developed all sorts of techniques for insulting each other without breaching etiquette.
“Yeah, you know,” Sadie continued. “Is there a Mrs Dazel—maybe a white cat? A poodle?”
“I can’t… tell if you’re joking or not,” Dazel said. Ashtoreth had to wonder what he’d be saying if Hunter’s mom weren’t around.
“Joking?” Sadie asked. “I mean, I guess I’m kind of joking when I ask if she’s a white cat. Maybe she’d be more of an actual demon? But I just want to get to know you, you know?” She shrugged. “You’re like the only one of Ashtoreth’s crew that I haven’t met.”
“Right.”
“And you’re from Hell!” she said. “That’s crazy. It must have been nice for you to get out and get to make some new friends,” Sadie said. “Especially with Hunter, right? I mean, I’m sure you and Ashtoreth got along great from the start—shared backgrounds and all…”
Dazel made a sound that was almost like a squeak—the sound of something being contained.
“—But you and Hunter have so much in common.”
“We do?” Hunter asked.
“We… do?” Dazel asked.
“Definitely, babe,” Sadie said to Hunter, her smile containing the hint of a smirk as she nudged his shoulder. “You both have great style!”
“Sure, okay,” said Hunter, sounding resigned.
“What?” Sadie said, sounding playfully defensive at his tone. “You can’t tell me that you don’t both have a very, like, deliberate look going on. I mean—Dazel, come on. You got to choose your form when you were summoned, right?”
Dazel practically squirmed. “Uh… no. Ashtoreth chose the cat form.”
“It helped build trust faster,” Ashtoreth explained. “Everybody loves cats! He picked the details, though.”
“Like his color, right?” Sadie asked. “I dig it. Black cat. Are you like, one of those people where thirteen is your lucky number?”
Dazel’s head had begun to tilt. “I don’t… really have a lucky number…”
“Yeah, me neither,” said Sadie. “I knew a girl who went around saying that thirteen was her lucky number once, but we didn’t get along and I beat her up.”
Hunter’s mom let out a sigh. “Sadie here,” she said, looking at the rest of the table and sounding exasperated, “gets in more fights than a ten year old boy with an alcoholic father.”
“I didn’t get in that many fights, mom…” Hunter said.
“Look,” said Sadie, raising her hands defensively. “A lot—and I mean, like, a lot—of people have it coming. With Janessa, she basically thought she was Harley Quinn in real life and it made her like, super hard to be around. One day she quoted Alice in Wonderland for the fortieth time too many, and so I asked her if she’d ever even read the books, you know? Then asked her to prove it, and things escalated from there.”
“Okay, okay,” said Dazel. “Fine. You got me.”
Sadie did an excellent job feigning confusion. “Got you what? Sorry?”
“How?” Dazel said. “How can you possibly say that about someone and then be dating… I mean…”
“Hunter?” Sadie asked. “Oh, I get it. If I don’t like the weirdos, why date a weirdo?”
Dazel winced a little. “For the record, I didn’t say weirdo.”
Sadie let out a wicked laugh. “Oh, but I know what you have said—and anyway it’s because Hunter’s real.” She leaned against his bare shoulder. “Hunter’s not a weirdo because he’s insecure and wants to turn the whole world into the straight man in his comedy duo, you know? Hunter’s just a weirdo because he’s Hunter.”
“Yes,” Dazel said stiffly, seeming to struggle for words the entire time. “I agree.”
“He is pretty weird,” Raven said, shooting her brother a wary look as she buttered a biscuit.
Most everyone laughed at that, but Sadie was apparently not finished making conversation. “Anyway, you never said what you did! Do demons have jobs they go to and stuff?”
“Well, I used to live in the Pit of Sorrow,” he said. “And while there, I… I don’t know, felt an appropriate amount of sorrow. Continually. Then I left.”
“Basically my freshman year in college,” said Kylie.
“Sorry—Dazel, is it?” Hunter’s mom asked.
“Yes,” he said. “Dazel.”
“I ought to have introduced myself when you came in, but I was so focused on dinner—and I’m not used to talking to cats. I’m Morgan.”
“It’s good to meet you, Morgan,” he said automatically.
“Dazel’s the super-mage,” Sadie said to Hunter’s mom. “Kind of like a hacker sometimes, too, from the sound of it. Keeps everyone safe—thanks for that, by the way.”
“No way we would have made it without this fella,” Ashtoreth said, giving him a light squeeze.
“Uh, yeah,” said Dazel. “Okay. You’re welcome.”
“Also, he taught me to fly,” said Kylie. “Which, you know, much appreciated.” She shot Dazel. “Even if he is a bit of a little—” She paused, glanced at Raven, and then said, “...Demon.”
“Can I learn to fly?” Raven asked.
“I told you,” said Hunter’s mom. “Maybe once the world is less dangerous. I know you don’t like waiting, but I need to know you’re close by.”
Raven sighed.
“We’re going shopping soon, according to Ashtoreth,” said Hunter. “Maybe I can get you a broomstick for when it’s finally time.”
Raven wrinkled her nose. “We can get those from Walmart,” she said. “Get me a cool sword, or a magic lantern that I can use as a spell focus. One that looks like a cage.”
“That feels specific,” Hunter said.
“Uh, defensive items only for your sister,” said Hunter’s mom. “None of these giant swords and Hell guns I keep hearing about. You know what Raven’s like.”
“What?” she asked. “What am I like? What happens if a demon attacks and I don’t have a Hell gun? Mom!”
“I’m not even sure what I’ll be able to afford, Raven,” Hunter said.
“The good stuff at any given level tends to cost cores that are above that level,” said Dazel. “Higher levels buying for their lower-level friends tend to distort the market. So unfortunately, none of them are going to be coming out of the outer market with a bunch of excellent gear.”
“But I bet they’ve got wild souvenirs,” said Ashtoreth.
“It sucks,” said Sadie. “I was thinking we could get Hunter some real clothes, you know?”
“Huh?” Hunter said, seeming genuinely surprised. “You mean… you don’t… like the current, uh, situation?”
“Heh,” said Sadie, face reddening. “Hehehe. Nah, Hunter, we gotta get you a real shirt.”
“Oh.”
“I’m thinking fishnet,” she said. “But like—a vest with studs.”
“Oh.”
“And you should also try and pick up one of those things we talked about, you know? To put both your swords together so that they’re like, one sword but with two blades.”
“Yeah,” Hunter said, smiling now. “Definitely. But it’s going to take some time to adapt to the style. I just don’t, you know, twirl enough in battle.”
“You could be like that Star Wars guy, but with katanas. But also… maybe get some tighter pants? Those ones are so baggy I’m surprised they even stick on your hips.”
“Okay—okay,” Dazel said loudly, voice containing more emphasis than it had all night. “You’re making me obsolete in front of my very eyes. If you two do this, it ruins all the fun.”
“Villain,” Sadie said, flashing him a smile. “I have undone thee.”
Ashtoreth felt a tap at her side. It was Raven. “What are you gonna buy?”
“Maybe nothing,” said Ashtoreth. “I dunno. I’ll see what I want when I get there, but I really don’t like the idea that I’m going to give something up to get it.”
“Huh?” Raven said.
“Ashtoreth’s not used to having to pay for things,” Dazel said. “You see, despite our shared origins in Hell, she grew up in a very different environment to the Pit of Sorrow…”
*
“I wish I hadn’t come,” said Dazel.
“I wish you wish you had,” said Ashtoreth.
The night was winding down. Dinner conversation had gone on long after the food was done, and she’d wound up being the subject of choice, not that she minded.
After dinner, she’d spent essentially every moment after dinner playing with Raven, who Hunter and his mother were now putting to bed.
She’d found an old, mostly-broken picnic bench in the back of the yard, and now she sat there with Dazel. She’d glamored herself a pipe, and him a cigarillo. Smoke hung in the air around them as the sounds of their companions talking and laughing emanated from the inside of the house.
“I don’t like it,” he said, looking at the house.
“Don’t like what?”
“Being around people,” he said bluntly. “I want the humans to survive, but maybe that’s more because I hate Hell than because I love them.” He hung his head, and his voice sounded tired. “I wish I could take a joke. But I’m too much of a demon. When Sadie was saying that stuff… it wasn’t funny. It was like someone was hanging a sword over my head.”
“Mmm.”
“Yes, I know,” he said. “I’m a terrible hypocrite. But… I don’t fit in. Not in a place like this, with people just having a meal. I know that.”
“Mhmm.”
“And people shouldn’t want to serve me pie and let me around their precious children.”
“No?”
“No!” he said. “I know what part of civilization I am. It’s not the civilian life part.”
“It’s the ‘make difficult, reprehensible choices that nobody else is capable of making’ part.”
“You’re mocking me, but yeah. That’s the part.”
“Well, I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy dinner,” she said. “Really, I am. But if you were paying attention, they all like you and admire you.”
Dazel sighed. “When it comes to how I feel about things, though… there’s no really no winning.”
She looked at him with sympathy. Poor Dazel. There wasn’t even anything he could get that would fix it… he really just wanted to not be himself.
“Oh. Here you two are. Needed a break, eh?”
Frost had appeared on the back porch. “We’re picking a movie to watch,” he said. “You guys want to come vote?”
“See?” Ashtoreth asked, nudging him. “You get a vote. You love those!”
“I do?”
“I dunno, I just remember you don’t like the hierarchy of Hell,” she said. “I figure democracy is right up your alley.”
Dazel laughed. “Not quite, but I can’t imagine that it can do much damage to a movie night.”
“Let’s go!” she said, pushing herself up off the beat-up picnic table.
She watched Dazel fly ahead of her, then pause and look back as if to make sure she was coming.
Had she forgotten something? The thought seemed to flit into her mind, then slip away from her like a windblown leaf.
She went inside. It was time for her first real movie night.
