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Isekai Terry AHS: Chapter 16 – Gods, No
🕑 Added 2025-01-15 08:31:40 +0000 UTCTerry looked around a little more, even as he fully recognized the futility of the action. No matter how much he looked around, he wasn’t going to know where to go. A quick glance at Kelima told him that she was equally baffled about where they were. He wasn’t actually worried about anything happening to them. He just didn’t want to dawdle any longer than necessary in the city.
Hey, he thought at other-Terry. Do you know how to get us back to the gate?
No.
How can you not know?
I wasn’t paying attention, admitted other-Terry.
Why not?
That’s a mundane, outside, fleshy concern. Why would I be paying attention to that?
Terry rolled his eyes, but it had probably been worth asking. There was no reason to do things the hard way when there was an easy way. Although, I guess there wasn’t actually an easy way, he muttered internally.
Turning his attention to Kelima, he asked, “Any thoughts?”
“Why would I have thoughts about this? I’m just as lost as you are. What would you have done if you came to the city alone?”
“I would have asked the guards where the nearest market was and walked straight there.”
“Really?” asked Kelima, like she couldn’t quite picture what he was describing. “You would have just turned to the guard at the guards and said where’s the market?”
“You say that like it’s irrational. It’s a new city. There are no maps. How else am I supposed to find places without asking?”
“Yeah, but that involves, you know, other people.”
Shaking his head, Terry turned and started walking back the way they had come. He could at least see the city wall. If they found the city wall, they could just walk along it until they found a gate. It might not be the same gate, but he supposed any gate would do.
“That’s transactional,” said Terry when Kelima caught up. “It’s different.”
“How is that different?”
“Nobody expects anything when you ask for directions. At least, not people like guards. It might not be precisely part of their job, but it’s implied.”
“Couldn’t we just ask one of these other people?”
Kelima made a vague gesture around them.
“We could,” agreed Terry.
“But you won’t.”
“I will not.”
“Why?” asked an irritated Kelima.
“Because that wouldn’t be transactional. They might just tell us, or they might expect us to stand there for half an hour, offer up our life stories, and pretend to care about their children.”
They took a few more steps before Kelima asked, “Would that really be so terrible?”
“Yes, Kelima. It would really be that terrible.”
Terry stopped in his tracks. Making an annoyed noise, he walked over, leaned against a wall, and crossed his arms. Kelima looked back at him with confusion on her face.
“What are you doing?”
“Some idiots are about to try to rob us,” said Terry.
Terry watched as Kelima looked around and saw what he’d already noticed. The normal people who had been on that street were vanishing or already gone. Some had fled inside buildings, while others had disappeared between buildings into what he assumed were alleys. All that was left was five people that, admittedly, he would have avoided at all costs in his old life. Now, they were just another aggravation. Given his current mood, he worried he might do something that would make Kelima talk, and talk, and talk until he wanted to die.
The thugs closed around them with daggers and short swords drawn. The apparent leader held up a hand and the group stopped. His hair was long, lank, and a dirty blonde. He looked almost sick, with a gauntness to his face and a hollowness in his eyes. It was a look Terry had heard someone describe as heroin chic, even if he didn’t really know what that meant. The guy gave Kelima a gap-toothed leer that reminded Terry of a vaguely malevolent jack-o’-lantern. While Kelima’s expression didn’t change, he could see some tension in her body that wasn’t usually there. He wondered if she was getting ready to do something to the morons.
“Well now,” said jack-o’-lantern guy, “aren’t you pretty?”
“That makes one of us,” said Kelima in a bored voice.
The guy’s eye twitched and his smile vanished.
“Little girls should know better than to talk like that to a man.”
“There’s a man here?” asked Kelima as she feigned trying to look past the guy. “Where?”
The jack-o’-lantern guy looked like he wanted to stab Kelima then and there but his eyes drifted to Terry. He looked confused. It was like he couldn’t make sense of Terry. He opened his mouth to say something, but Kelima beat him to it.
She glanced back at Terry and said, “Are you planning to step in here at any point?”
“Do you want me to step in?” asked Terry with a raised eyebrow. “This can’t be the first time you’d had to deal with dumbasses. I mean, I can step in but is that what you really want?”
Kelima considered that for a moment.
“No,” she said before shuddering. “Gods, no.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say,” said Terry. “Now, stop playing with your food. We have things to do. I’ll step in if you genuinely need some help.”
“Are you two stupid?” asked one of jack-o’-lantern guy’s thug apprentices. “We’re going to kill you. Maybe have a little fun while we’re at.”
The rapey guy stared right at Kelima when he said that last part.
“Oh, how about that?” said Terry. “Looks like you need help after all.”
“No!” shouted Kelima. “I’ll deal with it.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Nobody will sell us anything if we show up covered in blood.”
“Oh, that’s not true at all,” scoffed Terry. “They’ll just overcharge us.”
That exchange was the breaking point for jack-o’-lantern guy. He tried to slash out at Kelima. Terry wasn’t sure if the fool had picked up any of the magic that gave the adventurers their power, but he definitely hadn’t picked up as much as Kelima. She took a half-step back to avoid the slash, and then her hand shot out to grab the guy’s wrist. There was a stomach-churning crack as her other hand slammed into his elbow and bent the guy’s arm about ninety degrees in the wrong direction.
Mr. Heroin Chic did a lot of screaming after that which Terry mostly tuned out. By then, Kelima had driven her foot between the legs of the rapey guy hard enough to lift him nearly a foot off the ground. No kids for that fucker, thought Terry with acres worth of schadenfreude. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving asshole. He did notice two of the thugs trying to back away, so he looked around on the ground nearby. There weren’t any rocks, sadly, but he did notice a loose stick that some kid had to have brought there and abandoned. There weren’t any trees in sight to explain its presence. He walked over and picked up the stick. He idly broke it in half and eyed the two cowards.
Kelima was busy instructing a third thug in the fine art of pain tolerance, which Terry found to be right and good and in accordance with the prophecy. However, she kept moving around and getting in the way. Terry grimaced as the last two turned and started running. He lifted the two pieces of stick so he was holding one poised above each shoulder and concentrated. He wanted to hit them without hitting anyone else. He waited for just the right moment. Now, he shouted to himself and whipped his hands forward.
The stick pieces missed Kelima by mere inches before they reached their destinations. Terry winced as each passed through the leg of a fleeing thug. Blood went everywhere. Then, there was a lot more screaming for him to tune out. Maybe it won’t be that big a deal, thought Terry.
“What the hell!” shouted Kelima. “I said I’d deal with it.”
“They were getting away,” objected Terry in a voice that sounded defensive even to himself.
“Did you think I couldn’t catch them?”
Terry realized that he hadn’t even thought about whether she could catch them. On reflection, he was pretty sure that she wouldn’t have even had to try that hard. Feeling increasingly sheepish, he said the next thing that came to mind.
“I didn’t kill them.”
Kelima squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head back like she meant to implore the gods.
“You know, most individuals don’t need to work that hard at not killing other people,” she said without looking at him. “But that actually is an accomplishment for you. So, much as it pains me to say this, well done.”
Terry stared at her for a long moment before lifting his chin a little and saying, “I don’t think you really mean that.”
Comments
GreenB
Lol.
Angela Roberts
I'm not sure which is funnier, Terry's lame excuse or the wanna be thug!
