emma fielder
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update: a break I need to take
🕑 Added 2022-03-02 20:38:34 +0000 UTCHiya. First I just want to apologize for my uploads not being really consistent. I think I was just hoping that I would catch up and make up for it. I am really sorry about that.
I’m totally fine. I mean like, I’m not fine, but I am, or like, I will be! I’m feeling not really like myself lately. I’ve been taking care of a parent who is really sick. Like not-going-to-get-better sick. I don’t really know yet how to balance doing this stuff along with taking care of them. Also, after having covid I was trying to catch myself up and get myself back to the place I was at before I had it, but I think that just really burnt me out. That along with being a caregiver for someone… I just kind of don’t know how to do it. And trying to keep pushing through is not really working. I don’t really want to take a break because I really love what I do, but I think I need to.
I’m sorry for not figuring this out sooner, I think I was a little in denial about what I can and can’t do. And I was also just really dreading writing this post because I feel like there’s a perfect way to write it. This is not that. Like, I feel like there’s a way that I can phrase things that doesn’t make me feel embarrassed or seem unprofessional. That like… Makes it look and feel like I know what I’m doing. And that I’m in control and everything is all good. That's neither here nor there, I just really wish I could write that perfect message. Also, writing a post that is like “I need a break” is admitting to myself that I need a break. Which is also another thing I don’t want to do.
So... Just for this month I need to not be on the internet. And then I think I need to reassess once this month is up. Please absolutely feel free to unsub, that’s totally fine and I completely understand and please don’t feel bad about it. I will be finishing the customs that I need to have done as well, so don’t worry about that if you are one of those people. And then hopefully during my time off I can figure out exactly what changes I need to make so I can keep doing the things I love while taking care of the people I love.
I hope you also know how grateful I am to you for your support, so, thank you, thank you, thank you for that. In whatever form it comes. Thanks for listening. Hopefully I have a more cheerful message for you soon!!
warmly and sadly and with love,
emma
