Zachary Scott
patreon
Looking for some advice from you guys!
🕑 Added 2024-06-30 11:43:43 +0000 UTCThere's a major spoiler in this topic if you haven't reached chapter 21, yet. So warning, warning, warning... Anybody who has not read past chapter 21, don't read ahead unless you want spoilers.
Safety space.
Buffer zone.
Spoilers below.
Continue at your own risk.
I warned you.
Still warning....
Okay. So this will require a bit of an explanation before I give you the poll question. I don't know if any of you have browsed the royal road comments on Level One God, but it generally was going pretty great. People were being nice, helpful, and making good suggestions. And then chapter 21 hit.
I don't think it would be an overstatement to say people hated it. I'm generalizing, of course. There were 2-3 people who reached out to say they didn't like seeing a character they got to know die, but they understood why I did it etc.
I could ramble for paragraphs about this whole thing and my thoughts on the original scene versus the other ones I considered going with. But I'll try to summarize so I'm not wasting your time (edit: shocked Pikachu face... I still rambled for paragraphs. Sorry.)
Basically, I really want to revise chapters 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21. There would be minor revisions afterwards when I have any mentions of how things went. I'm about to spoil the plans I have for how to revise these chapters. If you just want to say "Sure, Zack. If you think it's best for the story, go in and do it," and you think you'll want to re-read those chapters to see how they go, skip down and just vote "Change it."
If you need some convincing or you know you wouldn't want to go back and re-read, feel free to read the potential changed events below. But they will spoil how chapters 17,18,19,20, and particularly 21 would change.
The idea I had was that a single change in chapter 17 could create a very different setup for going into the ruins. Instead of Circa telling Jarn she doesn't want their help, she would instead bring Brynn, Lyria, and Rock along with the whole group of 30 adventurers and guards.
The events as they travel would still be the same like Brynn practicing his abilities on the journey. There might just be a few more scene-setting lines to explain that they're part of a big group traveling instead of only Lyria, Circa, and Rock. The group of four would still stick pretty close together, so the scenes wouldn't be changed drastically there.
The fight in the ruins would be different but, again, similar. I could focus the "camera" on our group of four and their experience of the pale fiend fight would be largely the same, but there would be more chaos in the background with 30+ others fighting.
Chapter 20 would even still be mostly unchanged. There might be a few lines from other people in the group mixed in, but the campfire chat they have would be similar as well.
Chapter 21 would be the major change. Instead of the lich appearing and essentially one-shotting Circa and Rock because she's a level 50 Gold. Instead, she would be a level 50 Silver with a level 25 Silver minion at her side. This scene would be totally new with a different outcome. Without spoiling it, Brynn and Lyria would still be pretty traumatized afterwards, so his motivation to get stronger and feelings on how it went would be almost the same. It might just take some slight tweaks when I have him think back to the events in the ruins.
The other big change is that Circa and Rock would live.
Circa would stay behind to help protect the town with Rock in case the lich emerged, which would now make sense because the lich is a Silver and not a Gold like before. It also gives an opportunity for the story to circle back (maybe) to Riverwell a few books later for a bit of a reunion with Circa and Rock, see how they've changed, show how Brynn has changed since he last saw them, etc, and then have them tackle the threat together.
SO... If you can't tell from my description of the revisions, I am actually really excited about this change to the story. It's the kind of thing I would do without a second thought if I was editing a rough draft I hadn't shown anyone or if my editor had made the suggestion.
The part that's new to me and brings me to this post is I've got my little squad of you all now. You're all invested (I hope) in how things are going. I don't want to make the story feel cheapened by changing something behind where you're reading and asking you to just roll with the new chain of events. But I also want the story to be as good as it can be, and I'm currently convinced these changes will make it better.
So here we are! I'm going to put it to a poll. If I haven't convinced you that those changes will improve the story, vote "Keep it the same." If I convinced you (or you just don't mind something happening beyond what you've already read), vote "Change it!"
I'll go by what you guys say because I want you all as Patrons to be my core base here. If you all are okay with it, it'll happen. If not, I'll leave it alone. (I doubt the vote will be 100% in one direction, so I'll go with the majority by the end of today if we get a decent amount of votes).
Thanks! Sorry for the huge wall of text, but I appreciate any of you who take the time to vote and give your thoughts.
(Whoops. My finger slipped. I accidentally voted....)
Comments
Monadologist
TBH it was that encounter that made me glad to keep reading. Consequences for bad decisions and blindly stumbling forward?!? On Royal Road?!
Zachary Scott
I appreciate that feedback. I had some similar comments on royal road and it made me kind of doubt that decision. I think I'm itching to bring some of the "off the page" stuff I want in the story, so I was trying to cheat a little and tease some of it there. But yeah... I don't know if I really succeeded in making that believable. I'll keep that note in mind as I dive into the revisions.
LordDark
My only problem with the death was that the lich somehow knew who he was and served one of the gods. I am completely fine with Circa dying. I just want it to be a completely random lich that did it, with no message for the MC or anything. Having it be the servant of one of the other gods just felt so sketchy that it brought in a feeling of dibelief with how out of nowhere it came.
