Milk_Is_My_Drug
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Chapter 69: Birthday Surprises
🕑 Added 2025-06-17 08:00:02 +0000 UTCNearly two years had passed.
Ace and Amazo both graduated from school, celebrating a milestone that felt enormous. Soon, they would begin university, a prospect that had Ace practically bouncing off the walls. She was thrilled at the thought of seeing Courtney Whitmore regularly again; though the two stayed in contact, it hadn’t been the same since Courtney graduated a year earlier.
Amazo, too, had changed. He no longer wore the emotionless mask of a machine. He smiled. He sighed in exasperation when Ace dragged him into shopping sprees. He even expressed pity for sitcom characters during TV nights. The cold, relentless android he once was had melted away, leaving behind something almost human.
Even Galatea found herself drawn into the peaceful life. Once cloned to life for combat and control, she now drove Ace and Amazo back and forth from school, offering advice and joining them in everyday errands. Her voice mattered in the house, her thoughts welcomed and valued. Galatea developed a fondness for old Rex, whose cowardly sarcasm and constant worrying became a source of daily amusement. Despite his endless complaints, Rex never left, a fact Galatea appreciated more than she admitted.
All three of them, Ace, Amazo, and Galatea, knew they owed it all to Ashborn.
He had taken them in when the world wanted nothing but to get rid of them. He gave them shelter, a future, and something even rarer: trust. It was only natural that they decided to throw a surprise party for his 25th birthday.
They sent out the invitations with care. Old friends, new ones, even the unlikely.
Hive Rex and the four ex-villains of the Hive were first to RSVP, eager to reunite. Victor Fries and his beloved wife were coming too, the good doctor finding a rare pocket of happiness in his once-tragic life. And then, perhaps most surprisingly, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy – or Pamela, as she now allowed close friends to call her – accepted with delight.
Harley had become a regular voice in Ashborn’s life, calling him randomly to chat about her latest escapades, her motley crew, and all the bizarre things Gotham offered. On the other hand, Pamela appreciated Ashborn, he was the reason why she and Harley became a thing and he was the one to help her fund her environment without worrying about funds or profit.
Now, the house buzzed with activity as the guests waited eagerly.
Rex leaned back in his chair, arms folded as he mused aloud. "You ever notice," he said with a smirk, "that all Ashborn’s closest friends are villains or ex-villains? It's like he's allergic to good people."
Harley burst out laughing. “'Of course he is! That guy would have been a top-tier supervillain, ya know. Real shame he refused to be my second-in-command." She winked mischievously.
A chorus of chuckles and murmured agreements followed.
There was a collective understanding in the room: Ashborn was something unique. The man who had dragged the Justice League to court not once but twice, and won both times, who had humiliated Earth's greatest heroes without even trying to.
If he wanted to, he could have shaken the world.
Instead, he chose peace.
And today, they would celebrate that choice and the man who made it possible for them all to have second chances.
As Amazo prepared to teleport Ashborn home, the group waited with smiles and hidden party hats, ready to show him just how much he meant to them.
Soon, a brilliant flash of light illuminated the living room, and from it emerged Ashborn and Amazo.
The room instantly erupted into loud cheers and shouts.
"Happy Birthday!" the group of questionable but very eager characters screamed in surprise and excitement.
Ashborn blinked once, caught off guard by the sudden noise, but then smiled warmly. "Thank you," he said, genuinely touched.
Before he could even properly step into the room, the strange crowd began rushing him with their gifts, an odd, chaotic parade of colorful packages and makeshift wrapping jobs.
Among the pile of presents, one stood out above all.
Harley Quinn, with a proud, mischievous grin on her face, dragged forward a large, velvet-lined case. Pamela followed with a slightly more subdued, but equally pleased expression.
With a theatrical bow, Harley flung the case open. Inside was a stunning set of antique daggers and swords, each weapon gleaming with dozens of embedded gems that shimmered under the house lights.
“Ta-da!” Harley cried. “Got ‘em from Gotham’s Museum! Don’t worry, Ashy! I made sure to cover my tracks real good. You can keep ‘em without a worry!”
Rex, standing nearby, looked absolutely horrified. His jaw dropped as he stared at what could only be described as a priceless historical treasure now sitting casually in Ashborn’s living room.
And then... he witnessed the unthinkable.
Ashborn smiled, entirely unfazed, and thanked Harley warmly. "It’s a very thoughtful gift. Thank you, Harley, Pamela."
Rex was still frozen in place, looking like he was about to have a stroke, when he overheard Bill Numerous grinning and whispering to the others "Maybe we should have gone back to crime for a day... could’ve gotten a better gift."
The others nodded along in agreement, completely serious.
Even the stoic Victor Fries seemed to give a faint, almost regretful nod, as if pondering what relic he could have stolen to top Harley’s contribution.
Tea, noticing the expression of pure horror on Rex's face, sidled up to him with a teasing grin.
"Uncle Rex," she whispered, "if you want, we can go on a museum heist together. Just the two of us. Bet we can bring even better stuff."
Rex flinched backward immediately, waving his hands. “No! No way! I’m not a criminal!”
Tea sighed dramatically, shaking her head “You're no fun, skipping out on a heist...”
The whole room burst into laughter at that, a chorus of ex-villains finding endless amusement in Rex’s honest terror.
Ashborn leaned back slightly, watching the scene unfold with clear amusement in his eyes. This, chaotic, ridiculous, and bizarre as it was, was the life he had built. A family of people who once had no place, now laughing and teasing like any ordinary group of friends.
As the party rolled on, with food being passed around, glasses clinking together, and stories being shared, an odd ripple of energy suddenly passed through the room.
And then in an instant every single person, from Rex to Harley to Tea, transformed into gorillas.
Massive, hairy, confused gorillas.
Except for Ashborn and Amazo, who stood exactly as they were, blinking at the sudden change.
The entire room fell into stunned, confused silence... broken only when Gorilla-Harley let out a loud, baffled screech, and Gorilla-Rex looked down at his new hairy arms in absolute horror.
Ashborn sighed... then chuckled. So much for a quiet birthday.
Pamela, blinking confused and adjusting to her newfound massive gorilla form, grunted out "Why... did we become like this?"
Amazo, standing perfectly unaffected, answered in a voice "A wave of energy has traversed the area. It has transformed your DNA into that of an ape. You are not the only ones affected, the wave is currently sweeping across the entire world, turning all humans into apes."
There was a beat of stunned silence among the fur-covered group.
Then Amazo turned to Ashborn "Should I trace the source and neutralize it?"
Ashborn stared down at the floor for two long seconds before shaking his head "No need. The Justice League are already on it. You’ll all be back to normal soon."
Gorilla-Tea stomped forward, her large hands balled into fists, her furry brow furrowed "How soon are we talking? It’s disgusting to be like this!"
Ashborn gave a small, amused smile "Give it a minute."
And just as he said, slowly but surely, the transformation reversed. One by one, fur receded, limbs shrank, and human faces replaced ape-like ones.
The group exhaled collectively in relief, shaking off the bizarre experience as best they could.
Harley, brushing a few lingering imaginary hairs off her shoulder, turned to Ashborn with a curious look. "Hey... how come you didn’t get all monkey-fied, huh? Amazo said it affected all humans"
Harley paused, then her eyes widened dramatically. She pointed an accusing finger at Ashborn.
"YOU’RE NOT HUMAN!"
Instantly, every head in the room whipped toward Ashborn, suspicion filling their faces except for Ace, Tea, and Amazo, who remained calm.
Ashborn sighed "I am human. I just have powers. The energy wave didn’t affect me because of that."
Rex, still looking at him like he'd grown a second head, stepped closer "Since when do you have powers?"
Ashborn chuckled lightly "I’ve always had them. I just don’t use them in my daily life, so no one knew."
Rex’s eyes widened even more "You’ve had powers this whole time and you never thought of telling me?!"
Ashborn completely unbothered "The fewer people who know, the better. Besides, it’s not like I use them."
Rex crossed his arms and huffed, clearly irritated that such a major detail had been kept from him.
Curious as ever, Gizmo asked. "So... what can you do?"
Ashborn smiled, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes "A few things. Super strength, speed, invulnerability... and a few other tricks."
Gizmo narrowed his eyes suspiciously "How strong are we talking?"
Everyone leaned in slightly, curiosity piqued.
Ashborn’s smile widened a bit, and in a teasing, amused tone, he said "Hard to say... but if I really give it my all, I’m without doubt the strongest being on Earth."
Gizmo rolled his eyes, snorting "Yeah, sure. And I can beat Superman with a slap."
The room chuckled. Most of them clearly thought Ashborn was either joking or exaggerating.
But Ace and Amazo exchanged a brief glance. And Tea, standing nearby, shook her head while smiling amused by them. They believed him. They knew better.
Ashborn clapped his hands together lightly, drawing their attention back "Anyway, let’s keep this between us, alright?"
The group all nodded in agreement, a silent pact formed among the former gorillas.
