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Chapter Forty Eight - 048

🕑 Added 2020-04-30 05:00:54 +0000 UTC

Comments

Dave_S

"Felix woke to Pit " should be by

Stephen Pearson

I'm honestly enjoying his 2-dimensional obnoxiousness at the moment, though I agree it would be a waste if that's all he ever was. For some reason I already feel that the author plans more for him, but it may take him a while to get past his deep seated prejudices. That said, things are about to hit the fan, which is a good chance to re-evaluate things:-)

Ray Burns

I'm really enjoying the story, and thanks for another great chapter, but I want to talk about Atar a bit. Atar is a dick. But I'm also kind of on his side. Other than Felix, who has just come along, I think Atar is totally justified to be raging on all of the others. Mag and Han were paid (probably a lot) to provide a standard, though premium, service. Instead of delivering on this they dragged the lot of their charges onto some harebrained life or death mission. Now Atar's only options are to go along with it or leave (where leave means die in the wilderness). The others seem fine with this because it is a 'noble' cause and that is fine. But if I was in that situation I would be hating on all of them too. Atar is currently a bit of a 2d character. He's the bad guy comic relief with an obsession with the 'princess' character. I would be really interested to see him develop more depth and I think it is the kind of thing that can really elevate writing. Felix has been dropped off in the middle of nowhere, a bit like Atar has. It would be really interesting to see them maybe bond (perhaps over magic initially). Later, when they return to civilisation, Atar could pursue punishment for Han and Mag (which they probably deserve tbh) and that would pull Felix's loyalty between the two groups. A lot more interesting to me than Atar's the dick noble character.

Kevin Ramos

Its believable up to a point since he looks like an adult, it's taken him years to get to the point hes at. No expects a guy to be as strong as he is in just weeks.

Scott Frederiksen

Are they not impressed at all by at least 3 noticable spells being self taught or do they just not believe him? I'd expect some looks of disbelief or something from the girls though the sneer from atir is on point. 👌

Stephen Pearson

Oh you tease! Stopping right there - teasing that spar 2 chapters in a row. Great chapter though, and great setup and context for the spar with Magda. Thanks for the chapter:-)


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