ebluberry
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🕑 Added 2015-05-10 11:06:13 +0000 UTC
I've just read a comment on S.EXpedition
Yesman71 wrote:
I call bullshit on the plot. Why do the sisters need to wear helmets if Jack has no problem breathing whatever. Exploding planets, I can deal with. But are you trying to tell me that you can't breathe on your own home planet? And then there's the sex scene. For someone with visible anatomical similarities to a human, you'd think the entacle monster would be a more interesting lay. "You just came a moment ago and now you're hard again?" Bitch, you didn't even know what part of him was the sex organ until a page ago, how could you possibly know the "terran" male refractory period? How the fuck you you even know that's semen and not pre-cum? You've had tentacle monster sex before and you don't know the difference between a kiss and a deepthroat. Apparently aliens have nipple teasing but no lip interaction whatsoever. The author tried to hard to make this a hentai.
I feel kinda hurt but he's right. I don't have a knack for storytelling or good plot and my dialogue sucks. Some things I just go through without thinking. Here's some answers to that, the sisters wear their helmet because they are sensitive to the air around them, like dust particles in the air, but they can take off their helmet temporarily, anyhow I wanted to show some mysterious alien girl in those helmets. And Jack can breathe whatever because Neostar( jack's previous ship) had been preparing him to live in air besides his own. It releases some special air for the past 12 years to get his body to adapt to it. For the sex scene's I didn't think through enough. And yeah, I am trying too hard to make this a hentai.
Anyhow, I've decided to post it here as something to push myself, to improve myself. Again, sorry for being inexperienced, still learning it, but aren't we all still learning? we never stop learning do we?
Comments
Horizon
You're still doing great and that you are open to criticism is an even greater indicator of your character. Just make sure you don't take it personally, especially if you do use that criticism to adapt your work.
Ryuuichi Kusanagi
Well, I don't care about such details, so I enjoy the comic. Maybe it's due to the fact that I read alot of Doujins... that I already don't care about the plot and dialogue, to me as long as the artwork is good and desirable, I'm happy about it. But if you really want to fit to other's tastes, I guess you might need to read more Doujins like me to get more inspirations. Good luck. :)
Rose Radiuju
Well, I mean, I can justify the semen part wherein a person's cum would taste different based on what they typically consume, given a difference in background and foods among species of which he's unaccustomed, it would be different tasting, barring the species difference. The beauty about all this is that it's all gaining ground with each passing comic. Sure, you might not see yourself as that great a writer, but try to take this as constructive criticism and grow from it.
Seranjine
... Did someone really just come to read a hentai and complain about the sex scenes and the minor details? Like, really? Dude, do you watch porn for the plot? While, yes, there are some details that sometimes don't add up, there are also thing's that we as readers have to figure out. Maybe the tentacle monsters only wanted anal, maybe their tentacles didn't go that far in... Maybe it was a less endowed tentacled monster. An adolescent, even. This isn't our world. The are stories out there that don't even have a plot, yet they still try to make a whole series. This one actually has something that we can grasp, and yet, at the same time, we have to try to understand some of the things that happen. That's how writers work, they give us their ideas, and we give the ideas our imaginations. If there are parts that don't add up, we strive to figure out why, not badmouth the creator and trash the story. If you're here to read and actually think for a change, then stay. If not, either shut up and listen, or leave your money at the door.
