UnionFaps
Extra26 from patreon
Extra26 patreon

Chapter 20

🕑 Added 2024-02-24 17:24:53 +0000 UTC

Comments

Arthor K

Thank you so much! I will try to work on your suggestions and yeah, the fight scenes are something I will probably change a lot since I realised the problems with them.

skewness7

You need to edit properly your previous fight scenes because as of now this reads as xianxia nonsense. The mage that fights the skeleton army has like 20x the mana pool that the kai that fought the goblins. You need to drastically increase the number of goblins (or explain clearly their numbers) there or limit kai's magic usage in the skelly battle. Then they lose a guard when they face four skelletons but they are able of fighting hundreds later. In plural, at least two hundreds. These skelletons even need to be put down multiple times to end them. These two situations are incompatible. In the first scene the guards (if they have the numbers to face hundreds) should have surrounded the skelletons and toyed them. You can only lose a guard then if somebody massively fucked up. If they can not face 4 skelletons without losses they would be overrun when facing hundreds. The ease that Killian is facing the skellies with is different from the problems he had earlier where he struggled to keep one down. Usually a lich is the highest kind of undead that exits, maybe it is not in your universe, I do not know, and lichs are tone down. So if a lame necromancer that is not able of dealing with a 1st circle mage can directly become a lich they are royally fucked in that world. For several reasons. A lot of persons would try that path to immortality because it is easy. And if it is that easy you would end up with a lot of lichs. Lichs would be common in a short time period. This reads as if you are trying to make things exciting by throwing numbers and impossible situations. But be aware that you are doing it by sacrificing the consistency in your story. Btw, it was funny that the mages ended up with a punch fight.

Arthor K

Will correct it! Thanks!

EsZeus

Weird sentence here: "You go and help and the others," Thanks for the chapter


More Creators