Onyrica
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Of smog and healing - [ Update ]
🕑 Added 2020-05-12 12:09:38 +0000 UTCHi my lovelies! I hope you’re all keeping well and safe in these fluctuating times.
I wanted this update to be a follow up to the one I made a couple of weeks back, just to keep you all in the know of what’s going on in Ony world.
The truth is, for the last few weeks I have been struggling hard- mentally and physically. When this whole pandemic started, I told myself that I was going to get up and go, get all of this work done, do all of the livestreaming, come up with all these new ideas, rule the world with an iron f- I mean hi. But then, as the days went on and it all sunk in, I found myself progressively falling further into the grey - that pit of unresolved emotions and feelings that turns into a smog so dense you can’t even see yourself.
At first I pushed through it, telling myself that if I closed my eyes and held my breath, I’d see it to the other end. But the thing about the grey is that it’s a bitter, selfish predator and if you don’t give it attention, it’ll start eating into your sleep and eating habits until you physically can’t go on anymore. And so my health took a tumble, forcing me to spend half of April mostly bed-ridden.
It was in those two weeks that I realised that for all the care and attention I put into my work, I’d been putting none into myself and so the scales evened themselves out. Suddenly, for all my eagerness to get work done fast, I could barely paint a square in a day. And so I had to learn to accept that and give myself time and space to heal.
The good news is- after that brick of misused analogies- that I am now doing much better for it. In between bouts of resting and working, I also made more time to step outside and away from it all. I took to my garden, which has been a man-eating jungle for the last 5 years and decided to get down and dirty with it- starting with hacking away at a tree so overgrown that I literally found trash from the 90’s underneath it. While it’s still a WIP, you can see some examples below!
Before
After
Also, beholdeth... pressure-washing art
My ambition is to turn the garden into a spot from where I can work this summer (or whatever you can call a summer in the UK). I am incredibly privileged to have this little piece of green in my house and I think it would do me, my art and my self-care heaps of good to use it more.
I also took up meditation- which is something that everyone and their pet rock had told me to look into and I had been steadfast in my cynical disapproval of. However, when shit hit the fan and I found myself unable to conjure a straight thought, sitting down to breathe and learn how to keep myself from spiralling really helped me figure my way out of the mental vice I’d put myself into. As someone who believed, for most of her life, that I was somehow above all earthly, yoga-pant-wearing fads, I can’t overstate how much it’s helped me to gain some perspective - and I would be glad to answer any further questions for anyone thinking of giving it a try!
Finally, I dyed my hair pink, like one of those troll toys from the 90's. The jury's out on whether this was a good idea or not.
So, where are we now? Because of all of the above, I had to put a pin on a few of the immediate launches- such as the new commission batch or the new rewards system. However...
As of today, the first Batch 1 commission has been completed- and I’m currently working with most of the people at the top of the list to get on with their project. I’m really looking forward to working with all of you and I truly appreciate your patience with me so far!
I have also completed 99% of the copywriting for the new rewards system and, with only a few minor coding tweaks left to make, it should be ready to be tested this week- with a hopeful launch to all patrons by the weekend/Monday next week. I’m really excited about this new system and hope you guys will be too! Once it’s up and running, anyone waiting for a reward will be able to create and account and redeem their points- which were all calculated using the total count of months pledged so far. Basically, nobody will start from 0 points!
Lastly, I’ll be uploading a few new timelapses, streams - as well as the monthly art challenge (which I’ve typically only posted to Discord) to the timeline today- so expect a fair bit of activity! Once this has been done, I’ll bundle it all up and send the usual reward pack via DM.
I have so much more that I want to say, but this has decidedly gone on long enough. If you’re still reading this far down, I’d love for you to know how much it means to me that you’re here, supporting me. I know fully well that I wouldn’t have been able to bounce back nearly as fast if I didn’t have the sheer amount of support you guys give me month on month. It truly means the world- which is why I’d also like to remind you all that the Artroom Lifestream - a dedicated fund to support my patrons- is still available for anyone who might need it. You can read more about that in this post I made a while back.
And that’s enough about me! I’d love to hear from you and how you’re doing in the comments below. In the meantime, have a heartfelt hug from me and let’s speak soon!
Comments
Schmigalis
I'll do my best to reach out <3 thank you so so much.
Onyrica
Thank you so much Schmi! And please do reach out if you need it. I mean it wholeheartedly- I know how crucial it was for me to have people to talk to when I was at my lowest. Don't forget yourself in all of this- especially now when it's easy to think everyone's going through the same and we're not entitled to our own feelings. You very much are and I'm always more than happy to be an anchor if you need it. <3
Schmigalis
Late reply to this but I just wanted to say you're so awesome! Keep up on that hard work! Also good job on the garden, it looks so much better already ☺️ I've found myself in the grey for a long while now but I love to see and help others push out of it. Thank you for all that you do ❤️
