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DRAFT - Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 7
🕑 Added 2021-09-09 15:41:50 +0000 UTCThis chapter might need a look. I think I fixed the problems with it, but there may still be some lingering issues. Or, it's possible I'm worried about nothing and it's completely good to go. You can let me know. Hehe.
Draft - Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 7
by Zmeydros
Saturday morning, when I opened the solar shield, red-orange light poured in. It was unexpected because my windows faced west. As my eyes adjusted, I saw that billowing clouds above the mountains were reflecting the sunrise hues. Those warm colors fit my mood perfectly. If Ramda hadn't introduced me to Ezzie, I would've never felt quite like this.
Starting a message to Ramda, I thanked her and then I took my time gushing about my amazing time with Ezzie was. Whenever I got to a part that embarrassed me, I just told myself that Ramda was going to ask me about it until I told her, anyway. Once I was focusing on how to best describe what happened instead of focusing on the embarrassment, something unexpected happened: I got hard!
I couldn't help it, every memory of my time with Ezzie either brought me joy, turned me on, or both. Embarrassment didn't make it back into my mind until I was proofreading the message, seeing all the horny things I'd written down.
Was I really going to send this? It was like I'd written porn. Maybe I needed to edit it to make it more matter-of-fact?
No, Ramda would prefer it this way. It wasn't like I'd be able to hide anything from her, anyway. Ezzie would likely share the details I didn't. Plus, Ramda might have useful thoughts on me possibly being trans.
Getting to the end of my message, I realized that I'd forgotten to mention that I was about to take Ezzie's advice and shave my beard. After adding that, I sent the message. Then I went into my restroom, which was full of semi-reflective silver tiles, and got out the shaving stuff I'd picked up on the way home from the FTL museum. First, I used the clipper attachment to get most of the hair off.
With the bulk of my facial hair gone, I saw that I'd lost a lot of the baby fat that I'd hated when I was younger and I felt some hope that I'd actually like what I saw once I'd done the close shave pass. I started feeling a bit off in my stomach. What did I want to find under the short hairs that were left? I wasn't like I was going to magically have a girl's face. But not absolutely despising what I saw would be nice.
I put on the close shave attachment and slathered my face in a thick, moisturizing shaving cream. Then I worked methodically from my right side to my left, rinsing the shaving head whenever it indicated I needed to do so. It took longer than I expected, but I hadn't done more than trim by beard in ages.
As I washed the shaving cream off, my heart pounded with excitement. Running my fingers across my cheek, I wondered how I ever let those coarse hairs become a beard in the first place.
It was impossible to stop touching my skin, it was so smooth it was reminding me of Ezzie's equine pussy lips.
I blushed and grabbed the edge of the counter, feeling a bit dizzy as I remembered her sitting on my face and the way her giant clit dug into my lip before I started sucking on it.
Focusing on washing the rest of the shaving cream off, I put that out of my mind and then I did something I normally avoided doing: I looked at myself in the mirror. My baby face had gotten some refinement since a few years ago. My cheeks weren't overly round, they had a bit of an inward scoop under them. I smiled and then giggled. Oh God, I looked kinda like a woman with this long hair and no beard!
I squirmed, getting hard instantly. What on earth was going on with me? The last time I'd felt this way was when I was with Ezzie.
My eyes went to my hair again as I continued ogling myself in the mirror as if I'd never seen my own reflection. Gosh, my curly hair was so cute! Wait, they were going to make me cut my hair, fuck.
Ezzie and Ramda liked my hair and I didn't hate my face when right now because of it. If they made me cut it, I'd lose the first thing I actually liked about myself. The only overtly rebellious thing I'd ever done. Pain shot through my chest and down my arm. My heart was beating so fast that the only reason I knew it was working was a rushing sound in my ears. The room started spinning around me and I grabbed onto the counter.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! What was I supposed to do? There was so much pain in my chest. Was I dying? My legs got weak. I'd forgotten to breathe.
The burning in my chest subsided a bit as I took deep breaths but I didn't feel like getting up off the floor.
Cuber came up to me and beeped questioningly while sending *U OK?*
"I don't know," I said, the aching in my chest was letting up a bit.
*Hug?* she held out all three of her spindly arms.
With me sitting on the floor, her cubic body was at the perfect height to hug me. So when I opened my arms, she walked forward on her spider-like legs and wrapped her arms around me. Her body was hard and unyielding, but the hug was still appreciated. I didn't know where she got this behavior from, because I doubted there was much she could get from it other than knowing she was comforting me. She was good at it, though. Her soft consoling coos and the pats on my back were pretty darn effective.
*R U Remiel?* she asked.
"Yes, who else would I be?" I raised an eyebrow, forgetting what I'd been upset about for the moment.
*Other purson without beard,* she said. *UR hair I cognize. Nothing else.*
"Cognize?" I giggled and then felt self conscious. Cuber had never heard me giggle.
*RE is dundant," Cuber said.
"You can't just remove the R and E from the beginnings of words because the rest of the word they're connected to doesn't show up in other words. That's not how English works."
She gave the wrong answer beep, like I'd missed a question on a gameshow. *I make nu English.*
"Your English is new, that's the only thing we agree on so far."
*You stil understand.*
"Yes, but that's not the point," I said.
*What is point, then?*
"Communicating in the way that most other people do so that they see you as an equal and feel comfortable."
*Not equal. Am repair robot,* she said. *English broken. I fix."
"You're so adorable!" I tightened my grip on her, my eyes a bit wet. "Fine, you can do it your way. All I ask is that you take statistics and see how well people understand you and adjust your way of communicating to maximize the quality of your communication."
*Yes. Already plan,* she said.
The floor was making my tailbone hurt, so I let go of Cuber and waited for her to back up before I got on my feet.
*U better?*
"Yes, you actually helped a lot."
*Good. Why face change?* she asked.
"Because I feel happier when I look more like a girl." I got butterflies in my stomach just from saying that out loud.
*OK. U girl. She.*
"You're not confused that I want to look more like a girl?" I asked.
*No. Humans change look often. Look + pronouns no matter, U still Remiel. Very good human.
"You're awesome!" I said, bouncing in place.
*I know,* she responded.
A message from Ezzie came in as I was showing Cuber the shaver I bought. *I really enjoyed yesterday. Seeing you get in touch with your feminine side was incredible. Even writing this message, I'm hard and smiling.*
Blushing, I squirmed as my crotch tingled over her admission. *I had a good time too.*
*Oh, I could tell. You were moaning like a college coed.*
I blushed more, my face feeling sunburnt. *So how is your weekend so far?*
*It's cute when you get so flustered that you change the subject. <3*
Now I was getting hard. This is one of those moments where Ezzie was reminding me a lot of Ramda. They were so sexually free and I felt so closeted compared to them. *I don't know what to say.*
*Hmm, I bet you've never talked dirty through text. Tell me, Remiel, am I making you hard?*
*Yes,* I sent, getting so erect that it hurt.
*May I send you a lewd picture?*
*Yes,* I sent, my heart starting to speed up.
*Tell me the first thought that comes into into your mind when you see this.* A beautiful loop of her cock cumming popped up, her huge flare twitching while she made a lake on her belly.
I bit my lip and moaned. Then I sent, *I want to put my mouth on it.*
*And drink my cum?*
*Yes,* I sent back, rubbing at my cock through my pants.
*See? You're doing fine at dirty talk,* she said.
*I am?*
*Yep, main thing in the way is shame and we've plowed right through that. I'm about to get off, I've been playing with a toy while we talk. I'm gonna save a video of what's about to happen to tease you with later,* she said.
*You're evil,* I sent.
*I know. Give me five minutes and then we'll talk more. <3*
Dashing out of the bathroom on autopilot, I grabbed Ramda's toys, went to my bed, and got off so hard that Cuber came in to check on me.
While I was panting on the bed, after drinking down cum from Ramda's simulated cock, Ezzie sent, *Did you shave yet?*
*Yeah, just got done before you started talking to me,* I sent.
*Can I see what you look like now?*
*Sure! Let me snap a facemap.* I got out of bed and wiped my own cum off my belly with a shirt that needed to go through the wash.
Going into my living room, I opened a padded cubby in the wall and grabbed my 3D scanner. Then I called the VR crane out from the wall and attached the scanner to it. As it leveled itself, I combed my hair with my fingers to get it under control. When I triggered the scanner, a bright strip of light traveled across my face as an arm on the crane guided the scanner around my entire head. It only took about seven seconds and I did a few facial expressions to give the AI inside the system a good idea of how my facial muscles moved. All the models I'd made before had me with a beard, so I wanted to update everything anyway.
Satisfied with the model it made, I sent it to Ezzie. My chest got a bit tight. What if she hated the way I looked without a beard? I thought it was better, but there was no guarantee she'd feel the same way.
*Oh you're adorable! You have good cheekbones and some makeup could make you look quite girly,* she sent.
Butterflies returned to my stomach. *Really?*
*One sec,* she said.
I set about cleaning Ramda's toys and myself while I waited. When I was drying off, Ezzie sent back an edited model of my head. I gasped at how feminine her makeup job had made me.
*Are you sure didn't edit my facial structure?* I asked.
*All I did was add some eyeliner, a single layer of foundation, and some blush. Something you could do in ten to twenty minutes with practice. Or in a few minutes if you got a makeup bot,* she sent.
Even though my chin wasn't as feminine as I'd like it to be, I couldn't help but think I looked beautiful. But the more I looked at my face, the more I wondered if something was wrong. Was this really me? I liked the idea I was only some makeup away from this, but I couldn't label it as my face. The face I'd seen in the mirror never really looked like my face no matter what I did to it. I was so happy seeing I could look this girly, but...
*You okay?*
I blinked. *Yeah, just surprised is all.*
*Well, if you want, next time we hang out, I can bring my makeup and the prosthetic breasts that I wore before I grew my own.*
For some reason, I'd never considered the possibility that I could try out breasts that way. I knew breast inserts existed, the idea that I'd ever wear them was the sticking point.
*It's something we could try,* I sent.
*Cool, I'll get that stuff together so it's ready when you are,* she sent.
*Okay.* I wasn't sure what to say. Why did I like the idea of wearing fake breasts so much?
*I'll let you enjoy your weekend and on Monday morning I'll check in about whether you want to meet up sometime next week. Sound good?*
*Yeah,* I sent back.
*Can I share your clean shaven face with Ramda?* Ezzie asked.
*Sure!* I sent back, knowing I might feel shy about sending it myself. I was already feeling odd about everything today.
From the moment I stopped talking to Ezzie until dinner, I worked to completely exhaust myself with highly active VR games. After dinner, a message from Ramda arrived.
*You're really attractive without your beard, hon. And Ezzie's right, makeup goes on you pretty naturally. You'd make a wonderful girl,* she sent.
My eyes got wet and I continued reading while wiping my eyes.
*Even though you're doing amazing without me, I wish I was there to help more with finding yourself, but I don't think I'll be able to see you in person for at least a month. Captian Aeidou will be in for the first half of next week, however, and she wants to meet you. Lezveioans are really chill about gender stuff and you might get a lot out of hanging out with her. Do you want me to tell her to contact you?*
At first, the idea of meeting Captain Aeidou was overwhelming, but then I realized that I couldn't pass up the chance to meet a real live alien for the first time. *Yes! I'd love to meet her and it's okay that you're not here. You introduced me to Ezzie and she's been a huge help. I'm so glad I met you and I still can't believe you still think I'm worth all this trouble.*
I felt energized after hearing from Ramda and hopped back into VR. A few hours later, I got a message back, saying, *I don't think you realize how courageous you are. And I have a question: How do you feel about your dick when you think of yourself as a girl? Do you really feel like a herm as Ezzie suggests? I'm worried that she might be coming off of her own trans journey and projecting too much of what she felt on you. Also, I know both of us are always on the lookout for more trans herms, so we can get a bit overexcited.*
*I don't mind my dick being there, really. It never felt wrong. I'm not sure I'm a trans herm, but no matter what happens, I don't want to lose my dick,* I said.
Two hours later, just before bed, Ramda sent, *I'm glad it doesn't bother you and I'm excited to see what you discover about yourself. I highly recommend Ezzie's idea for trying out VR sex. It answered a lot of questions for me.*
I sent back. *It sounds too good to pass up. I'm just worried about what to do with what I find out.*
In the morning, I had a message from Ramda, *I know it's hard to think about, but even though we don't know what the path forward is, we will find one. Just be the most you that you can be, whenever possible and learn as much as you can about yourself.*
*I'll try, but I'm very not used to it and I don't know for sure who I am,* I sent.
As I moved to get out of bed, my rough face scratched my shoulder and for some reason, I just stopped. After having a smooth face yesterday, it felt wrong. Really wrong. I got up and shaved, dreading having to do it every morning or feel the wrongness I'd just felt come back. Maybe I'd look into getting my facial hair removed. I looked at my arms and legs. Didn't most women shave hair off their arms and legs or get it removed if they had it? It was worth a try.
Getting in the shower, I switched to the body shaving head on my shaver and put cream on my arms and legs before I shaved them. It was so easy and I was kinda in a daze, so I just started shaving off all the other hair on my body until every bit of me was smooth. I even carefully got my balls and the base of my cock.
When I got out of the shower and dried off, I ran a hand down my arm, across my chest, and then I shivered as I touched my nipples. I bit my lip and groaned. My chest felt amazing without hair on it. I reached down and found my smooth pubic area, and then cupped my balls. Reaching behind them, I moaned and nearly lost my balance. The need to get off was incredible and I got on my bed the moment I was dry.
Gasping and writhing, I pressed my smooth skin against the bed, my nipples hardening so much that they sent tingles throughout me. My dick throbbed to life as I kept feeling my smooth balls and the space behind them. Soon I was thrusting into my hands, feeling warm all over. I was so happy, so damn turned on by my own body.
Before I knew it, I'd rolled onto my back and was cumming all over my belly while screaming like a girl.
As I laid there, cum running down my side and into my sheets, I stared at the ceiling. With how I felt right now, I didn't want any of my body hair to grow back.
What was happening to me? There's no way I could be this sure of something so major. I made a fist. I needed to do actually something about the way I felt this time. If I didn't take the advice I'd given Ezzie, I'd continue being a hypocrite.
I opened a message to send to Ramda and Ezzie. *I think I want to go to a hair removal clinic. I tried shaving my body and I don't know why, but I love the way it feels and I don't really want the hair to grow back.*
An odd thought hit me and I added, *But I wonder if hair removal would prevent me from growing fur if I decide to become a hybrid someday? Does that even make sense? Anyway, it's something I'd like to possibly do that I know nothing about. Thanks for all the support and I hope you are having a good day.*
Asking for help felt so weird.
I got up off my bed and then washed my cum off and tried to play VR games, but ended up looking at hair removal clinics. Some of them were also mod clinics, so I lost a couple hours browsing mods as well. They were all pretty darn expensive, but boy did they look fun. Having a tail that could be another limb to hold stuff for me? Like, who wouldn't want that? I was surprised Ramda hadn't gotten one. And all the animal ear options were so cute!
I stopped myself when I started considering using a chunk of my savings to get my ears modded. It was one of the cheapest options, but it was also something that would instantly get me kicked out of work and sent back home. Maybe I'd be satisfied with smooth skin, letting Ezzie and Ramda Make me feel like a girl, and doing stuff in VR? Things that wouldn't be visible to the management at Miramanna. But, ugh, even my hair was a problem for them.
Maybe I needed to ask Ezzie if we could do the VR stuff today and try to know myself even better before work tried to erase it. No, Ezzie had already given me so much of her time and I already had too much to think about.
After an hour of VR games, Ezzie got back to me about the message I'd sent earlier. *It does make sense and it won't affect you getting fur. There aren't enough human hair follicles to have a coat of fur and human hairs are different than most fur, so when you get modded your body has to make new follicles anyway. There's a chain of good hair removal clinics that use an automated process that only takes a few sessions. It's kinda freaky to watch because of all the electrolysis needles going in at once and you need to stay very still, but it is rather easy overall.* At the end of her message was a link to a hair removal clinic.
*Thanks! I'm going to check this out!*
*No problem! Let me know if you need anything,* she said.
*I will,* I said.
While I was looking at setting up a new patient appointment at the clinic, I got a message from Ramda. *It's totally fine to do and isn't something that would be conspicuous at your job. It's not even that expensive these days. Well, as far as mods go.*
*I think I'm gonna do it, then,* I sent back.
Before I could do anything else, I got a message from Captain Aeidou. *Greetings friend, would you be able to meet me on Tuesday evening at 7:15PM for a night out? We could either do a human place you pick or my favorite Lezveioan dinner spa. If you choose the second option, it'll be my treat, but I must warn you that it's definitely not a normal human experience. There would be nudity and possibly openly sexual things going on around us. But it would give you a very clear view of our culture. Your choice and happy to meet you in whatever context you're most attracted to.*
I sent, *I think we should just go with a human place this time to be on the safe side, but I'd love to go to a Lezveioan place another time,* and then instantly regretted it. The safe option, the thing I was most comfortable with was so boring.
After I went to bed, I laid wide awake wondering all sorts of things. What did "dinner spa" mean? What on Earth did her warning mean? Did people actually have sex in the restaurant-spa thing? Was that what Lezveioan culture was like? What did Lezveioan dicks look like? Their pussies? Then I remembered how hot Captain Aeidou had looked and blushed profusely. Would I get to see her naked if we went to the Lezveioan place?
Opening up another message to Captain Aeidou, I wrote, *Actually, I want to go to the dinner-spa place with you and experience your culture. It's an opportunity I can't pass up.*
After sending that message, I slept like a rock, dreaming about finding Captain Aeidou and Ramda making out in my shower.
