MrBiffo
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NORMALITY: WHAT EVEN IS IT?
🕑 Added 2021-01-30 11:46:11 +0000 UTCI tweeted something the other day saying I'm worried that my sense of humour isn't normal, and that it scares me a bit. It was meant in a kind of tongue-in-cheek way, but, very kindly, lots of people replied reassuring me that not being "normal" - whatever that might be - is a good thing, and to keep doing what I do.
Of course, it is a good thing... to a point. I'm always striving towards creative freedom, and an honest expression of creativity.
But there is, very obviously, a baseline of what might be considered "normal". More than this, there's a line at which a majority of people will turn away from what you're doing, because it deviates too far from their definition of "normal".
I'm not even talking about them just not liking what you do, because they don't think it's good. I'm talking about them finding it too "weird". I don't get that, I guess, because there's very little - at least in terms of creativity and comedy - that's too weird for me. While I appreciate the structure of a well-crafted joke, I love that pure mainlining of somebody's subconscious that you'll see in stuff like Tim and Eric, Eric Andre, or Aunty Donna. I grew up with Python and The Young Ones, and the weirder and more surprising they got, the more I enjoyed them.
THE LINE
Certainly, it's a line I know I crossed at points during Found Footage, and with this week's baby food video it seems to have happened again, at least for a few people!
In our defence, Sanja and I just thought we were being silly - I've written CBBC shows where adults dress as babies! - but I realised we might've stumbled into different territory, when somebody said it was like Found Footage meets Cornershop Corner. Uh-oh. It was that weird?!? I honestly hadn't seen it. Hence the tweet!
I mean, I'm not really being any different to how I usually am in our videos. I just happened to be dressed as a baby. But no! No, no, no. "That's not for me! You've gone too far!"
Of course, on one level I loved that people got weirded out! But at the same time, judging from some comments, and the number of unsubscribes, a big chunk of people seemed to have either found it disturbing or kinky, rather than just ridiculous and daft, as we'd intended! And then of course, some arse paid for a load of dislikes - that's how much it annoyed them!
Consequently, much as I try to resist it, I end up feeling torn between wanting to push that sort of congruent creativity even further and get even weirder... and kind of recoiling a bit, and wanting to play it safe for a while. Similarly, the "Mr Biffo" on Digi videos is a kind of extreme version of me, and I worry about how palatable he is.
Over the past year or so, I feel like I've really found my comic voice, in terms of performing, and... it's being a whiny man-child. Gannon messaged me a while back saying "You're very funny when you're being pathetic", which sums it up! I also occasionally worry that some people think I'm really like that (and some clearly do; I did laugh at a comment which said "Christ, Mr Biffo is a mess of a man"). I'm more the real 'me' on our podcast, and the Patreon videos - but it's a performance on Digi. It kind of has to be. Same as the Mr Biffo on Teletext Digi was a character.
Maybe we'd be more popular if I was less like that on camera, less shambolic, less shouty, less whiny, more contained and restrained, and presenterly... but I'm not sure I'd entertain myself as much. It's funny (to me) getting to be that guy. There's something incredibly freeing about it.
THE TENSION
This tension between being true to myself and wanting to make stuff for as wide a possible audience is something I wrestle with quite a bit.
Well, I say that. It's more something I think about occasionally. I'm no longer really chasing a big audience; Sanja and I were talking the other day about how not all the Patrons watch our Patreon-exclusive vids, and I said to her "Yeah, but... that's still 160 or so people, few of whom we've even met, who are still watching". It's relative. It's still a big number. I've been to gigs and stand-up comedy shows that had fewer people than that in the audience. I'm happier this way.
And, most importantly, we have a really loyal core audience. We've mostly jettisoned all those who were only there for Larry, Octav1us or Eli, and the pandemic has given me the opportunity to reclaim Digitiser. And yet... if I do anything that goes too far one way or another away from the baseline of what's expected... it's less popular, it kills subs. Which leaves me fighting against that straightjacket somewhat.
Take Found Footage. The earlier episodes, before it got really strange, were incredibly well received. But views dropped off as I became (I felt) more creative and experimental, and by the time I was doing Lost Footage - which started, of course, as just a bit of fun for people in lockdown, very few people cared. Even many who had seemed obsessed with Found Footage. They just wanted more Goujon John-type stuff.
I've bemoaned before about how few people have watched the final two eps of that run, The Early Years and The End. Chris Jerden-Cooke and I, I think, knocked it out of the park, and made something that's borderline art. But, of course, art is subjective, and some people just want the funny. It occasional feels like trying to give a dog medicine; I guess you have to disguise it in their food.
Something else I've really struggled with on YouTube is, of course, turning away from video games. Even though the Digitiser channel really began with Found Footage, Digitiser The Show was watched by a lot of people, and even now we still get the occasional snide comment complaining that we don't do gaming stuff anymore.
WILSON!
I've been thinking about it of late, off the back of the release of the new album by Steven Wilson. If you don't know, Wilson is kind of the acceptable face of modern prog rock. He's prog in its purest sense, in that he pushes himself, makes the sort of music he wants to make, even if it costs him fans.
His latest album is sublime, but a large section of his fanbase is up in arms, bemoaning how electronic it is, whining about the soul and funk and dance influences, and getting arsey because it isn't "prog" enough. Or at least not close enough to their entitled belief that he should be making music just for them. I can relate.
In a recent interview, he said he felt he's taken electric guitars as far as he can - at least given his abilities - and so he's exploring new sounds. I feel the same about games; I wrote about them on-and-off for close to 30 years, and I'm not obsessed enough with them, and they play too little a role in my day-to-day life, for me to do nothing but make videos about them. I'd be faking it, and end up making mistakes, and getting bored, and deleting the channel. All for just a short-term hit of views.
It's an issue for any creative person, that kind of tension between doing what they're drawn to do, and not completely defying expectations to the point where you lose your audience entirely, and no longer have the financial support which allows you to create with absolute freedom.
It's like... you can scare the horses a bit, but not too much. And I worry that by holding back, by being more "normal" than I want to be, I'd not be completely fulfilling myself.
And I also wonder whether "normal" is just another word for "being too scared to be who you really are".
I do see some of my YouTube contemporaries (hah: I'm older than everyone!), and they seem to go out of their way to be as unchallenging as possible. I can kind of feel their fear of letting their guard down too much, lest they be seen for the real them, and lest that damage their views. Inevitably, all of them are far more popular than I am! They would never scare the horses. Just do the same thing. Don't ask too much of your audience. And that's fine, but I can't go that route. When I've tried to be "normal", when I've tried sticking to a formula that works... it almost hurts me on a physical level.
Even if I'm being the shambolic, pathetic, man-child "Mr Biffo", I'm still being true to some part of myself. I guess I've reached an age where I don't really give a flying fig - even five years ago, I'd have felt too self-conscious to dress as a baby on camera, and eat baby food - but within that remains this fear that it's a self-sabotaging way to be, and that it might, in some way, lose me an audience entirely, and threaten my ability to create with absolute freedom. Without me even realising what I've done.
DON'T WORRY
What I should say is don't think for a second this means that I'm not enjoying the videos we're making. I've been loving it over the past few months, getting to go out and about with Gannon, messing around with Sanja. It's a joy. But I also want to make stuff that satisfies me on a purely creative level, that feels like it has something to say, and makes a difference to those who 'get it'.
Putting Lost Footage on the Digi channel was an experiment that, frankly, didn't work. It clearly needs its own audience, and its own place.
I know some of you were subscribed to our second channel. You may not have noticed, but earlier this month, I made some changes to that channel. Changes which may give you some idea of what I might be doing this year to scratch that itch.
Stay tuned.
Paul
Comments
lizithekiwi
I really don't get the mentality of people who unsub because they didn't enjoy one particular video, unless the content is problematic. I love lots of retro gaming channels for example and love game reviews but I don't find the hardware building stuff engaging. Doesn't mean I unsub, I just skip those particular vids! Forever baby was was clearly just a silly bit of fun, I think anyone that found it too much has gotta take a look at themselves for the context they're putting it in. God knows what they'd say about the Krankies! 😂
Tyronne Mann
Paul, you need to be yourself and the last thing you want to do is constrain yourself in the jelly mould of presenting with all the nice rounded edges that just ends up being nothing but bland and samey - not only that but anything that stifles creativity is never a good thing as once you start down the road of doing what you think you should be doing instead of what you want to do then it just ends up with stuff that lacks the spark and also suffers as it is not something you want to do. To thine own self be true - if people find your output to not be to their taste then that is something for them to deal with and not yourself as you could drive yourself mad trying to please everyone - that is simply not possible. Forever baby is a prime example of something funny and if some see it to be kinky then that tells you more about themselves rather than you and if it takes them out of their comfort zone then so be it. So many things are playing it safe now as you simply cannot upset anyone for fear of reprisals but sod it, there are still borders which need to be pushed as otherwise what is the point? It is a sad then when people cannot separate the persona from the person as I have lost friends over saying something I felt funny but they thought was going over the line...I simply have no line and sometimes the things I find funny can be so dark that even a torch would not help light them up but that is what I find funny, that is not who I am as a person and that is the difference but so many cannot see the sides but only see the whole and judge on that. So, sod`em, sod`em all and keep doing what you want to do, hell it sure is not going to stop me.
Sedric And Charlie
I am still well behind on Digi videos, which to be clear is a Me problem, not anything to do with the state of the channel. Life is "interesting" right now. I'm only mentioning it to confirm that I WILL be getting you those views one of these days. I am all too familiar with following my creative impulses only to spook out my audience though. I hope in time all the good weirdoes will find their way to Digitiser chief
Luke Miller
“normal" is just another word for "being too scared to be who you really are". Spot on. Keep doing what you love - remember, a huge amount of “normal” people watch and apparently enjoy stuff like X-Factor. Each to their own.
FluxMarsh
Spiff got the formula down, looms like a steady 10-20k new subs each month before he started this. Bu, before he started this he'd clearly been doing that standard gamer youtube stuff and got caught up in a couple of waves through the recommendation tab. Might work. Especially, as the subs that are left could be of a better quality now the babies who don't like Man-Babies have sodded off. Why not re-post all your Digi-related tweets to the Community tab, Paul? I know I engage with it a few times a week. And any engagement for the channel seems to increase the odds you're recommended further.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Hah! Oh, don't worry - for me, I loved that it might've been a bit Found Footage-y. Just that I know how much FF tends to polarise!
Treacle Truffle
I did comment that the baby food video was a combining of Lost/Found Footage and Digi, but that's mainly because to me Found/Lost Footage isn't weird, it's just different, but hugely enjoyable.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
I'm hoping Jim will appear on Digi eventually! It has nearly happened so many times!
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Hah! I didn't even think that deeply into it. We just thought, well... if you're eating babyfood, at least one of us should be a baby! Yes: second channel... It was there for a while. I've rebranded it, but nothing is on there yet. See if you can find it...
Nicola
I figured FB might be a tiny bit of "oh you like THAT character and going on about THEM, well here's something you might NOT!" in a very cheeky digi way... :) Also, second channel?
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
We lost 37 subscribers, Chris! 37!!! And I'm still having people call us "kinky"....!
FluxMarsh
Didn't notice the change, but I presume some Xenoxxx tapes may recently had piles of dust blown off them. If it saves subs and positive reactions then I agree it's a good move. I hope it's not another source of stress via ratios and subs and that it's a place where you get super fkin weird. And no beans. Between Beanus and the Cornflakes Homunculus, Youtube has enough food characters.
Chris Bell
I’m genuinely shocked that some viewers wouldn’t see that Forever Baby was just you “having a daft laugh” - it never occurred to me that it would be seen as anything but something a bit silly. Are people’s sensibilities really that conservative? Maybe they are. Maybe I’ve been in the orbit of your humour for so long now that I can’t tell the difference anymore. It does seem, though, that YouTube has changed the way in which comedy and humour are consumed. Not wanting to get all “good old days” on you or anything, but back when we only had terrestrial TV to watch and were at the mercy of the schedulers, we would’ve been exposed to more esoteric humour, and watched it “because it was on”. Christ, I watched the whole of the Glam Metal Detectives for that reason, despite knowing it was dreadful at the time. I guess my point is... when you have all the content in the world to choose from, will people choose to be challenged? Some of us enjoy that, but evidently lots of people won’t even countenance getting out of their comfort zone. And that’s really sad. But I’m still shocked that anyone could be freaked out so much by the baby vid!
Thomas Thacker
Forever Baby is a long way from being Found/Lost Footage weird - I just took it as a bit of silliness that it was intended to be. All I can say is be yourself and do what you want! I learnt the hard way last year that trying to fit in doesn't work for me - so why even bother? It sounds like it's the same for you. If people want to hate on me or belittle me for being eccentric then let them - I'm (mostly) over it. I know who my real friends are - the people who get me. You clearly know who the people who get you are too. 😉
Fear All You Hear - Gareth
I find it an odd part of the generalised YouTube viewer mentality that people who subscribe to a channel can’t overlook the one occasional video that’s not quite for them and have to rage against it or do a stroppy unsubscribe. I enjoy having a range of Biffo related content as I enjoy watching Sanja and you tell me stuff about things. I also went deep into the Found/Lost footage stuff as well as I love stuff that shows me a view through a window to a strange world running alongside ours. I think it’s a good parallel with the Aunty Donna stuff. I watched and loved the new series of that and my partner really laughed hard at some of it but recoiled in irritation at the stranger, Dada-esque bits of it because it’s not for everyone. There was enough there to entertain us both though.
Mark Honeyborne
Python was a little before my time but one I watched on rerun's ( I'm 43 ) but most of what you do scratches that itch. My humor can be s bit out there, League of Gentlemen, Bottom etc. You do you. As the line from Star Trek Generations says : " Normal is what everyone else is but you are not". Keep being you Paul.
Dave Graves
Some people really do need a title/end card that reads "MrBiffo, performed by Paul Rose." They're that unable to split the world accordingly, without prompting. Being in the training world...we were always told to aim for an average reading age of 11... now it's 9! For adult courses. Paints a picture that a whole raft of people, really are unaware of many concepts that occur in absurdity. Meh. The Spiffing Brit has a video exposing how to abuse the YouTube algorithm to drive up views. He's exposed it in a Day of the Jackal, manner to force YouTube to close the exploit. But. Make hay whilst the sun shines. Your absurdity would be more widely welcomed, if only people got to see it.
Darren Watson
I love your sense of humour that's why follow you in my mind money well spent
