MrBiffo
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THE THINGS I GOT DONE - PLUS SWEARY BONUS RANT!
🕑 Added 2020-07-07 16:34:54 +0000 UTCBeen a bit of a day for Getting Stuff Done.
I finally finished compiling the Digitiser Live DVD. Now I've just got to burn the master copy, and it'll be ready to go off to the makers. We did discuss burning them ourselves (and the brilliant Nikki Heald kindly offered to help), but that would take forever, and you won't get a version with printing on the actual DVD if we went that route. I want you to feel like it's a professional - albeit chronically delayed - product.
If you want to understand why I might've been dragging my heels over it, because Digitiser The Show isn't exactly my favourite thing to have worked on... well, there's more on that below.
I also spoke with Harrow Arts Centre about Digitiser Live. Once again they offered a refund, but I reiterated that we want to honour the booking. It's a sign of how venues are struggling that I swear the woman on the phone would've hugged me if she'd been in front of me. They must've had a lot of cancellations, judging by how grateful she was. Big shame.
I've suggested to them September or October next year, because I honestly can't see us being out of this mess before then. She did say it may be that we have to reduce the capacity. What this'll mean, I don't know - two shows? Cap attendance where we have it? - but they're waiting on more government guidance, apparently. Good luck there. I'll keep you posted.
I also finished online present shopping for two of my kids, who both have birthdays later this month.
And I made this week's Digi video live. It took a whole 90 minutes this time for the first "When's Gannon coming back?" comment.
Well... it'll probably be next week, as we're going to be attempting some sort of Zoom-based filming on Thursday.
FRANKLYSTEIN
Frankly, though, both he and I agree that it's for the best that we use him more sparingly on the channel going forwards. At least for a while. The more comments that we get to the effect of the one above, the longer it's going to be until he returns in any kind of regular capacity.
I mean, he warned me when we started doing stuff together that he tends to dominate the shows he's on. He's aware of it, so he works very hard to give credit where credit's due, and step aside when he feels it's necessary. None of it is remotely Gannon's fault.
Consequently, he's embarrassed and pissed-off with some elements of the Cheapshow fanbase, and the way they've been behaving towards me. We're good friends, we live near each other, I love working with him, and it puts him in an awkward position when people are saying Sanja and I are boring, and Gannon and Eli are better.
The change of format was only due to lockdown - and we will creep back towards a hybrid of what we did before, and what we do now, alongside more, glossier, mini-series (once we're able) - but it has been a revelation in many ways.
I swore I wouldn't moan or vent on here for a while, but please excuse me while I expunge a primal scream of frustration (ie; rant).
I mean, I'm among friends, right?
As I've said before - due to the recently comments, the exodus of un-subscribers whenever a new video goes up, and other remarks - it's clear that I failed to build my own audience over the last couple of years... and a large percentage of them weren't there for me. I do enjoy working with other people, but I clearly leant on them too much, and clearly too much of what I did was invisible to their fans.
It has been kind of eye-opening in the past month or so, the longer we've gone without other people on the channel. For a long time, I think Sanja believed I was exaggerating or overreacting, but she now accepts that I was seeing things she didn't.
Aside from the comments on YouTube, which I can take up to a point - I mean, I've got a pretty thick skin when it comes to most criticism - I had someone else on Twitter mention that they assumed that Gannon was always involved in the channel behind-the-scenes - even when he wasn't on screen. Why?! Where did we give that impression!?
Someone else on a livestream podcast, clearly unaware I was listening, said that "Biffo always needs somebody" (or words to that effect) - be it Gannon, Mr Hairs, whoever. My stuff is "better" when I have somebody to rely on, in his opinion, like he'd assumed I'm somehow always the junior, less talented or less focused, partner in my working relationships.
I mean... what?!?
I mean... fuck OFF!!!!?
Even when people are trying to be nice, it's revealing. Someone this week left a well-intentioned comment on Facebook that they thought Sanja and I "should definitely be included alongside Larry, Octav1us et al" in any online event to mark the original date of Digitiser Live 2.0... (even though Octav1us and Larry's involvement was going to be limited, if not completely non-existent, due to reasons that I won't get into).
I mean... no shit I should be included in my own fucking thing!!!!!
And you can add to this to someone I'd considered a friend and colleague anonymously posting disparaging comments on Digitiser2000.com (smelled a rat... and looked up the IP address), and... well... Christ.
You'll excuse me for being at the end of my string with it all.
STUCK WITH ME
Out of all the comments we've had, those above have stuck with me, because they struck at the heart of what I do, and the stuff I'm most proud of. I know I'm not the world's greatest performer, but I'm great at getting stuff done, and staying focused. I tend to have a very original, singular, vision for things. I know that. Whether or not you like what I create, cut me and I bleed creativity.
I mean, I enjoy collaborating, I work well with others (otherwise I wouldn't have worked in TV professionally for 20-odd years), and I'll always listen to outside input - on Digitiser The Show, I perhaps listened to too much - but I tend to have a very clear, usually fairly unique, idea of what I want.
Albeit with the assistance of Sanja, Digitiser The Show, Digitiser Live, Found Footage et al were all pretty much solo projects (with Horsenburger helping on the day).
I mean, I know most of you know all this already, but I worked my arse off on all of those things... heck, the last 7 years of Digitiser itself were written entirely by me (barring the tips and charts pages), and I hate to say it, but I wasn't the one who got fired...! Tim and I argue over who had the biggest influence on the Digitiser style, but the fact is... if I drop the false modesty for five seconds... most of the things people think of when they think of Digitiser were my creations.
Everyone who was involved with Digitiser The Show, apart from Sanja and I, mostly got to kick back and have a good time, but we worked until we dropped that week. We were the only ones shouldering all the stress.
Yes, we had a lot of help, and lots of people worked hard, but we were the only two working on it before the filming, late into the night the week of the filming, and then long afterwards. To then realise that so many people seem to view it as a Larry, Gannon and Octav1us project has been a major slap in the face. Maybe it would've been fine if I was getting paid for it, but... y'know. I wasn't. I was even sinking my own money into it. And, ultimately, for what?
I'm glad people liked it, but it has been nothing but a miserable headache for me.
Heck, even yesterday somebody on Twitter pulled me up about not crediting the amazing Jerden Cooke on the Sound Footage album. Hello?! That's because he's only on two of the songs, and he's visibly credited on those!!!!!! GAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHHGVHawpkdjzds!!!!!
Enough!
AN AIR
I dunno if I give of some sort of air of not being capable of pulling a project together or something, or that I'm reckless... or have done too good a job of downplaying my involvement, or I'm too self-depreciating, or too good at giving credit to others, or what.
But I've always been driven, always been capable, and always been pretty single-minded. To have things I'm proud of somehow attributed to others, or be told that I can't do stuff without somebody to help me, is frustrating. It's galling, it's maddening, and ultimately it's upsetting. I don't need praise and adulation, but I at least want acknowledgement for what I've done, and not have that go to others all the fucking time, as it has been recently.
I mean, the one thing on the channel that people universally seem to credit solely to me is Lost/Found Footage... and that's frequently in the same breath as "Er, it's weird, sorry... don't do too many things like that... I prefer the other videos LOL!"
Hence this (probably belated) attempt to reclaim what I do, by renaming the channel (I would've preferred keeping it Digitiser, but that has clearly become indelibly associated with the cast of Digitiser The Show), and more personal sorts of videos. So that's why the channel has become Mr Biffo's Biffovision, because it evidently needed pointing out.
Will it make a difference? Dunno. I certainly don't need a big audience. I certainly don't care if people don't like my stuff. I just want people to at least give credit where it's due. That's literally all I need. Some acknowledgement.
I know you lot get it, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I just needed to get it off my chest, otherwise it's going to start bleeding out elsewhere.
And nobody wants to bleed out of their elsewhere.
Paul
PS. Please don't tell me not to read the comments. I WILL fight you.
Comments
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Do I ever! Cheers, feller. I'm absolutely blessed by the support I've received from the likes of your good self over the years. Sanja also has said a lot of what you say above - the confusion about how anyone could draw these conclusions - but ultimately, the Digi audience as it is today is far smaller than the ones brought by people new to the Digitiser name. So maybe it was inevitable. It kind of didn't help in all this that it wasn't always just the fans who thought I was kind of a bit player in Digitiser the Show and the channel etc... But I'll let you draw your own conclusions about that. Ultimately - yes - it has been maddening in recent weeks, as it reached a kind of fever pitch and I felt more and more diminished by it, but getting this load off my chest has helped. I do feel very lucky. And very clear about moving forwards as planned.
Chris Bell
I can only imagine how frustrating and enraging all this stuff has been for you. For those of us that have followed your work for decades, it seems utterly incomprehensible that anyone would think you weren’t the main creative force behind the videos on your channel. The influx of CheapShow fans post-Digi The Show seems to have been a double-edged sword in that respect. But even then - you were the main host, the guy in the middle of the desk asking the questions. It’s really peculiar how this perception of you being a more peripheral figure and Gannon being the Svengali has come about in some minds. Since reactivating Super Page 58, I’ve made sure to credit Tim for his role in Digi, because his contribution was clearly fundamental in the early days - but I know, and Digi fans know, that you were the long-term creative driving force behind it. We’re under no illusions that without Mr Biffo there was no Digitiser. I can remember thinking that at the time - “If Biffo ever moves on, that’s the end”. You made such a singular contribution - literally and figuratively. That’s why when you did leave it was right that the name changed to GameCentral. Let’s face it - as you say, you’re responsible for what so much of us remember when we think of Digi. The golden years, 1998-2001, were entirely your creation. That’s why this whole thing is so incongruous and head-scratching for us long-term fans. And I don’t want to make this an old fans/new fans argument, because clearly it’s more nuanced than that and there are plenty of new fans that get it and who have delved into the history and your back catalogue. But it’s a really strange phenomenon, and - to be blunt - rude, the way you’ve been spoken to. You’ve obviously made the right call in rebranding - it was necessary, and good for you to reassert your position. I’m sure the current turbulence will pass, and you’ll hang onto most of the people who joined the party after The Show and the Minis. And if not - well, for someone who always prided himself in being able to evoke both love and hate in their work, well, you’ve still got it!
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Yeah, the rebrand has indeed freed me up to expunge a lot of pent-up frustration. Ironically, it has also caused a load! But yup. Focused - like a laser beam!
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Cheers, Simon. Yeah... the way the channel is at the minute has happened because of Lockdown - both because it was impossible to get together with others, and because the sort of knockabout nonsense we were doing before didn't seem like the sort of thing I wanted to do while there was a crisis on. I'm starting to feel like I want to get back to doing a bit more of it, though, but Lockdown has also been a blessing in that I've realised the value in doing stuff with Sanja too. Thanks for sticking with us.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Thanks, Treac. You've hit the nail on the head, I think. I continue wanting to do stuff with Gannon because he's a gracious and generous collaborator, and easy to work with. Plus, he's a laugh to hang out with. And even if it risks even more "More Gannon!" comments, that's a cross I'm happy to suffer.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Cheers, feller.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Thank you, Derek. That was a lovely comment. It was getting ridiculous, and I just needed to blow off steam. I feel all the better for it. As I said, I can take criticism... but it gets my back up when I have my own achievements diminished. Especially when others are given the kudos instead - in some instances, having done nothing other than allow themselves to be dragged in front of a camera! But anyway. Thank you for sticking with me. Means a lot.
Spiff
Sounds like the rebrand has focused your mind and enabled this type of "cleansing" - you feel free to rant away man. Scream into our willing ears. Digitally.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
It's scary isn't it? I honestly don't see how live entertainment can survive this in its current form.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Glad to know I've got a platform to vent in safety! I felt much better for having done so, Phil.
simon jacobs
I found you through Cheapshow and it's always been obvious to me that you and them are entirely separate entities. Sometimes things may bleed through but they're both a different feel. It really is a shame that some fans don't understand that at the end of the day, you are people with feelings. I enjoy the content you produce, be it a whole series like Found Footage or just you mucking about and having a laugh with your wife (it's not like there's a global pandemic which has put plans on hold or anything like that).
Treacle Truffle
Here comes my tuppence worth. I think you're a brilliant facilitator at creating a space for others to perform in who sometimes don't reciprocate (and can I explicitly exempt Gannon from this). As someone who as always thought Digitiser = Mr Biffo, I find the attitude of some people weird, a bit like thinking Last of the Summer Wine was just a vehicle for Burt Kwouk (allbeit that vehicle would be a bathtub with wheels careering down a hill, but I digress). Obviously some people came to the channel hoping for some sort of continuation of Barshens or an extension of Cheapshow and are disappointed. For me the purity of Found/Lost Footage is inspiring and has a clear lineage to Digitiser. Stand up and take the praise for the incredible works you've created and all the happiness they've brought to people.
Thomas Thacker
I may not be the most vocal person here, but that's in no small part due to the fact I'm perfectly happy with what you do. I'm not "mainstream" in any way and don't identify or fit into any group, so I tend to keep to myself and I get to some extent the difficulties in doing your own thing when it literally is just your own thing and nobody else's. I've been enjoying your content since the Teletext days - long before you teamed up with Gannon et al, so honestly, keep on doing your own unique thing and you'll be able to count on continued support from long time Digivites like me.
Derek Plante
Hello Paul/Biffo/Mr. Biffo (whichever is the best to refer to you), I hope it's not terribly inappropriate to post this here, but I'm one of the people who came to your work through the Barshens connections. To imagine that anything you've done on your own channel, in your own name, is merely a vessel for someone else's work seems... absurd, honestly. Disrespectful and dismissive to the extreme. It almost seems willfully ignorant, especially since you've brought this very topic up directly so. Many. Times. Not to mention you have your own channel, with its own name, and its own backlog, and its own identity, most of which has nothing to do with anyone else. What world are these people living in? How on earth can they be so confidently misinformed that they're telling you off on your own work? Unless it's some 4-D chess kind of joke to gaslight you, I can't even begin to fathom the disrespect in it all. Sure, I like the rapport you have with your guests, it's what caught my eye originally, but it'd be depressing as hell if it came at the cost of such toxicity/animosity. If any of the previous guests come back; great, super, superb. If it's not something you see yourself passionate about, however, sod it, I'm more than sold on what you've been putting out on your own (with all due credit and respect to Sanja and Jerden Cooke, of course). For however little it matters, I've honestly been incredibly impressed and fond of the work you've been putting out, especially since the lockdown, and am glad to help fund whatever it is you're planning, be it serious or whatever endearing madness the Lost/Found Footage series represents. There's been such honest passion and honesty in some of the videos and posts that they've made some of these dark days over the last few months *so much easier* to get through. Thanks for all the charm and madness, I'll be looking forward to the next thing *you* are working on.
Tyronne Mann
Blimey, if they are thinking along the lines of limiting numbers for that time next year - will there actually be ANY places still in business which can be used to put on any type of show let alone your own?
Phil Robinson
Oh boy, some of this is really close to home for me. Not in exactly the same way as your situation, but I totally empathise. I'm not the best at "blowing my own trumpet" as it were, and have with past creative endeavours had credit wholly assigned to my colleagues by others, simply because I was the "silent" one, and was often forgotten about. I eventually learned my lesson. It was embarrassing to my colleagues as well, as they knew damn fine well what my contribution was, and how proud of it I was. They did their best to get that across to people. It was just really awkward and frustrating for all of us, as we were and still are great friends . There weren't any "egos" among us, which in an odd way may not have helped matters in hindsight, I don't know. Anyway, I'm rambling, feel free to vent at us any time you like, and we'll listen! x
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Yep. All options on the table. But... two nights means we'd have to be able to afford two nights... and I don't know if we'd be able to, especially with reduced attendance. Costs a lot of hire and stage... and we'd also need to guarantee guests on both nights. But we'll liase with the Arts Centre to do something workable.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Oh quite possibly, feller. I know nothing negative was meant.
Chris JC
I’m more than happy with my level of credit in Sound Footage. If I’m going to muster up some fairness (I didn’t see the original comment), it's possible that at the moment some people don’t really know what kind of an album it’ll be and are imagining it to be something of a compilation of previously-heard music rather than your own brand of electro-prog aural excursions.
Paul
Therein lies the problem sometimes with self-deprecation; often people can’t see through it and presume that you couldn’t possibly be the mastermind behind something if you’re downplaying your role. I agree, you should embrace and celebrate your achievements to the wider public. You’ve earned that right. Re: the Live show, any use in having it spread across two or more nights if the capacity is reduced? Just an idea. So not necessarily two shows, just the one split up. Makes a weekend of it for people and perhaps gives the Arts Centre a boost in bar takings etc.
Hedders
We get it. And that's why we're here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I watch/listen to and greatly enjoy Cheapshow, Larry, Octav1us et al. They're great. But so are you.
That certainly was a sweary rant. Happy birthday to your children, by the way! I hope they are fine n' happy n' healthy. (I accidentally posted this before I meant to) I personally think you should let that false modesty slip more often. I know it's probably not that useful to say so, but we fans still love you and your work, so I hope there is some succour to take from that. (Album sounds great so far, by the way) much love.
