MrBiffo
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🕑 Added 2015-04-27 12:36:11 +0000 UTC
So, many years ago - as some of you might remember from my old Biffovision blog, before I went mad and deleted it in a fit of pique - I was meant to be writing a book about monster hunting. I did a trip to Guyana with the Centre for Fortean Zoology, and had a number of other excursions lined up (a weekend Big Foot hunting in Northern California, hanging out with a vampire in Highgate, a big cat safari in Wiltshire, meeting someone who'd been attacked by a werewolf in upstate New York... among others). I'd been offered two book deals, but they arrived simultaneously with my first CBBC show suddenly getting green lit.
Ultimately, I had to make a choice - book or TV show... and I went for the latter. It was, frankly, a decision based upon income: the deals were good, but not enormous, though there was a lot travel required, and I was expected to pay for it out of my advance. Not did that mean I'd have very little money left afterwards, but with the time spent travelling, and the time spent writing the book, I'd be living on vapours for the best part of a year. When doing the maths, it was a no-brainer really.
But anyway. I did the Guyana trip, and I got to write up a 16,000-word sample. Ultimately, this might look unfavourably on the CFZ gang - but I grew to love them, and I'm still in touch with them today. They're a bonkers bunch, but passionate and loveable with it... and that's where the book would've ended up. There's some Digi-related stuff in there, as the CFZ were big Digitiser fans (in a roundabout way, that's how I ended up going on the trip with them).
The Guyana trip was an insane few weeks, and the hardest thing I've ever done - several people nearly died (a combination of falling off mountains, and heatstroke), and I nearly threw in the towel at one point, because I was convinced someone was going to end up dead. Latterly, my trip diverged from the others, and I ended up alone in Georgetown, staying overnight with a taxi driver - for its own reasons, one of the most terrifying nights of my life.
Alas, this excerpt is just a teaser - it stops before things get really juicy, and before I could wrap things up in a tidy bow. But I thought you might want to see it.
Do I believe in monsters? I didn't before I left... but there was some stuff that happened while we were out that which made me question that belief; proper hairs-on-back-of-the-neck time. But that's another story.
Comments
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Cheers, VH. Yeah, we had someone fall off a mountain and break their hand, people collapse through heat stroke (I also came close at one point), some epic temper tantrums, a bush fire that threatened the village we were staying in, and an encounter with a shape-shifting shamen... I'm not sure it will ever be finished, alas, but I've got some great stories for the grandchildren. The CFZ made their own video account of the trip - I'll post it up here in a bit. I'm in it about twice, I think. With much shorter hair...
6DB
Finished reading this last night, hopefully one day you will finish it. As you said, it does stop just as its about to get juicy. If I was in your position I think I would have chickened out of the trip. Sounds like you were about to enter the jungle with little to no preparation at all. Yes I do hope you finish the book one day so I can find out if the satellite phone was used and if the expedition had to be cut short. I chuckled a few times a long the way and found about a country I'd never heard of before, good read.
Paul Rose (Mr Biffo)
Cheers, VH. Hope this goes some way to making up for recent the lack of video updates for everyone: I recorded one twice last week, and lost both versions, due to an ageing Mac. Hopefully I'll have time over the next couple of days.
6DB
I've slapped your book onto my ereader, I'll give it a good going over when time permits.
