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Monarch Chapter 68

🕑 Added 2025-12-29 18:55:13 +0000 UTC

Comments

Symon X

Nooo

MrrC

Agreed, the action didn't flow and it was jarring that he kept knowing he would be ok. Feels like foreshadowing but this needs to be reviewed. It lacks the usual polish

Roxanne

I think you should rework this chapter. The description of our MCs actions doesn't make sense in a few spots. "sword already drawn back" Why? He doesn't use his momentum and plunge it into the bear. "He counted the steps—one, two—then dove sideways at the last possible moment. The bear thundered past, momentum carrying it forward as Rayne rolled, came up inside its guard, and drove his sword upward with everything he had." MC dives to the SIDE, the bear goes PAST him, then he rolls inside its guard. How does that happen if he dove to the side and it is past him. Also not sure if guard is the right word here. Then the mother bear charging at the end. This bear our MC drove his sword into "sinking past the hilt." Past the hilt is the handle so his hand was inside the bear. Then Casper frys it. Then she cooks it some more holding with her fire ropes. Then 40 men "Axel, Rancour, Hobbs, Fredrick and three dozen soldiers swarmed it, weapons rising and falling in brutal rhythm". It now should be dead but jumps up and charges. Doesn't really work for me. I like the story. I'm a patreon supporter but felt this chapter was a train wreck.

Pocket Rikimaru Thanatos

Reminds me of the owlbear den in bg3

Johan

Tftc

Clockwork Orange

Very very good chapter, I really enjoy these fight scenes they are easy to understand

Bryn

Thanks for the chapter!

Dominick Zimmerman

TYFTC

Dominick Zimmerman

Ahhh the cliff itt kills

Caiban

Jup that bear will now try everything to kill him


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