Stanley Sharpe
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Weekly Update - 26th of January
🕑 Added 2024-01-26 11:32:12 +0000 UTCHey friends!
First thing's first, I'm going to pause February. I was really optimistic but this month didn't start great, and then the one week of productivity promptly fell off a cliff and I've not been able to get back there. Not entirely sure why, but I'll try and explain a bit about my mental state in this message.
As it stands, no further progress on anything. This week I've been trying to establish a healthy routine in my mornings, but then it hits like 3pm and I'm exhausted. Not sure why, could be some kind of illness - I'm definitely a bit bunged up, and there's constant colds and such in my family - but I also think there's a bit of ADHD burnout and probably some cognitive pushback against me making things routine. But last time I was in a funk the routine pulled me out of it, so I'm hoping in the next week or two I start seeing results to that end.
I know I'll get back to being consistently productive, and I know it's gotta be bloody annoying, but I am trying my best. Sometimes I judge myself too harshly - "I only have to sit at my PC and write nonsense!" - but in truth creative stuff isn't easy even if I'm able to pretty much write however I like, and I had a really bad day yesterday almost on the brink of violent anger simply because my brain will not do what I want it to. And that's not good, so I'm chilling out, taking today off, and relaxing this weekend - with the routine intact, because I realise that breaking my routine is a big fucking no-no now, hah - so as to hopefully have a good week next week and turn February into a productive month! (At long fucking last.)
On the bright side, when I do put words out onto the page, I'm very happy with them, so it's not so much a creative block as it is a concentration one. I think I forget sometimes how easy my former jobs were (as in, they required no cognitive overhead, just physical shit) and how hard it can be to actually organise myself, plan ahead, keep track of time, etc.
Anyway, hopefully this explains the continuing delays a little.
I hope you're all well, and have a great weekend!
Big love,
Thalaxian
xoxox
