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GOTHAM CITY PD: CLASSIFIED 016
🕑 Added 2017-11-05 18:00:01 +0000 UTC CLASSIFIED 016: SURVEILLANCESELENA: Yeah, but I don’t WANT to do it. You’re missing the crucial point, here.
BATMAN: You know I wouldn’t ask you to do this unless it was important. Please?
SELENA: (sigh) FINE. But you owe me for this one. You owe me HUGE. You don’t even know how huge.
CUT TO:
DICK: I wonder what they’re talking about?
JASON: I don’t fuckin’ know. Probably boring couple stuff. Curtains and cushions and shit.
DICK: What? (laughs) They’re not a couple.
JASON: (snickers) Right. Good one.
DICK: No, really.
JASON: Oh, for fuck’s sake. You actually haven’t noticed?
DICK: Noticed what?
JASON: You are priceless. You know that window in the south wing, in the hall opposite Brucie’s room?
DICK: What about it?
JASON: Haven’t you noticed that it’s always unlocked by morning?
DICK: … Not as such, no. I don’t go around checking all the windows like you do, Peeping Todd.
JASON: It’s basic home security, Dickhead. I’ve locked that window myself every night, and sure enough, it’s unlocked by morning.
DICK: So what?
JASON: Oh my fucking God. Were you always this much of a Boy Scout, or did you just fall off the trapeze too many times? You know… Batsy and Kitty knock big leather boots. On the reg.
DICK: Oh. Oh, EW. Ugh. That’s disgusting! Why would you tell me that?
JASON: (grinning) ‘Cos I am an awesome brother.
DICK: Now I’m picturing it! ARGH! My eyes!
JASON: (snickers) Hey - you think with Brat Wayne Jr off at private school, he’s more careful these days?
DICK: La-la-la, not listening!
JASON: After all, he did slip one past the goalie before. (grinning) He must only wear body armour outside the house.
DICK: ARGGGH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUP!
(JASON is clearly enjoying himself)
JASON: Poor, sweet Dickolas. (theatrical sniffle) He was so young. So innocent. So stupid.
DICK: (mature) I have decided… not to believe you.
JASON: Oh yeah?
DICK: Yes. The whole… thing is just patently ridiculous. You fool me with your tall tales every other bloody time, you cheeky git. But not this time.
BATMAN: (walking closer) It’s just a simple in and out.
(JASON bursts out laughing; DICK groans)
DICK: Oh, Lord have mercy.
BATMAN: What?
(JASON can’t stop laughing)
BATMAN: (angry) WHAT?
DICK: I think… I’m going to be sick.
