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The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0159
🕑 Added 2017-11-04 16:00:01 +0000 UTC TRS - Casefile #0159LUCENZO: Who is riding? What is Hessian?
EDWARD: German Mercenaries, generally associated with the American Revolution, but that’s neither here nor there.
LUCENZO: You!
CRANE: Edward.
EDWARD: Jonathan. Arkham just hasn’t been the same without you. So if it’s all the same to you, Lucenzo, I’m just going to… take them back.
LUCENZO: Galatea.
EDWARD: Oh, she’s a bit… tied up at the moment. You need better wool to pull over these eyes, I’m afraid.
LUCENZO: You are celever. You take another step, and Dottore Crane, he die.
EDWARD: That true, Jonathan?
CRANE: Pseudo pacemaker, controlled by remote, ceases heart function.
EDWARD: Do you trust me, Jon?
CRANE: Absolutely not.
EDWARD: (sighs) After all we’ve been through.
LUCENZO: I said stay back!
EDWARD: Go ahead, push it.
(LUCENZO activates the Heartstopper)
CRANE: Edward, the hell? AUGH!!!
LUCENZO: You see?
EDWARD: Push it again.
LUCENZO: Che? <What?>
EDWARD: PUSH. IT. AGAIN.
(LUCENZO activates the Heartstopper again)
CRANE: AUGHHH!! (falls, begins laughing)
EDWARD: He’s heeeeere….
LUCENZO: Oddio… <Oh my god…>
SCARECROW: Edward.
EDWARD: He’s all yours, Scarecrow.
(LUCENZO tries to activate the Heartstopper twice)
SCARECROW: No. You don’t get to control this body any more.
(SCARECROW pulls the pseudo-pacemaker out of his own chest)
EDWARD: Oh, Jesus. (SCARECROW laughs) I think this belongs to you.
*scythe opening*
SCARECROW: Time to dance, big boy.
(LUCENZO flees)
EDWARD: Wow, he sure can run.
SCARECROW: But he can’t hide.
(SCARECROW pursues, slamming the door behind him)
EDWARD: Well, you’ve been quiet, Lyle. (snickers and switches off ECG) Let’s wheel you somewhere a bit safer. There, nice and -
(SCARECROW is thrown through the door by PIERRO. SCARECROW regains himself and a brief fight ensues. SCARECROW is charged against the wall and is knocked out. PIERRO turns to EDWARD)
EDWARD: Wow. You are a big fella… Easy now. You don’t want to – OOF!
(EDWARD is thrown into the ceiling, landing on a broken table.)
EDWARD: Jesus H… Shit… Well come on, then. I hate waiting.
(PIERRO roars)
(WAYLON tackles PIERRO. WAYLON breaks a metal pipe over PIERRO after three strikes.)
WAYLON: Get back now, Eddie – you let ol’ Waylon handle this.
EDWARD: Waylon Jones, you are a godsend. Ikky! Come on, we’re getting out of here. C’mon Jon…
CRANE: Hnhgh…
EDWARD: Can you walk?
CRANE: I feel like I got hit by a bus.
EDWARD: Close. Let’s move.
(Walking, Stairs, Walking, Flies, Outside)
(EDWARD dials phone)
EDWARD: Query. Edward. How soon can you get here? Alright, you have half that.
LUCENZO: I’m sorry, little man, (LUCENZO cocks his gun) but I can’t let you leave.
EDWARD: *sigh* Sorry Q, gonna have to call you back. Ikky, sit here with Jon.
(IKKY caws)
CRANE: I’m alright, Ikky.
EDWARD: Come on now, Lucenzo. Even you have to see it’s over.
LUCENZO: I don’t think so. It is not over until Professor Pyg says it is.
WAYLON: Eddie – I brought that Bolton boy up with —
(LUCENZO shoots WAYLON)
EDWARD: Waylon! That’s IT! I have *cane* had it with you *cane* hurting *cane* my *cane* FRIENDS!
(LUCENZO is knocked into the pig pen)
EDWARD: (Huffing) He’s all yours, mes petits cochons <my little pigs>. Waylon! Are you alright?
WAYLON: Through n’ through – I seen worse.
EDWARD: I trust all went well downstairs?
WAYLON: Popped his head like a dandelion. POP! Oh, here’s your hankie, by the by.
EDWARD: I… keep it.
WAYLON: Much obliged. Best see to Jonboy – I hear sirens a’ comin’, so I’mma get outta here. Whatchu want done with thissun?
EDWARD: Just leave him – he’s safe now. Thank you, Waylon.
WAYLON: Wadn’t nothin’, Ed. You two take care now.
EDWARD: Well, that was a hoot, wasn’t it?
CRANE: (Clearly not with it) What happened?
EDWARD: I gambled and won.
CRANE: You brought Ikky to this… nightmare of a place.
EDWARD: Thank you, Edward, for saving my life. Oh, it was nothing, really. Had a blast. All in a day’s work. Come on, our ride is here. Query, Echo. It’s been ages.
QUERY: Hi Boss.
EDWARD: You remember Jonathan.
CRANE: Evenin’, ladies.
QUERY: Oh, hello Doctor Crane.
ECHO: Hi Doctor Crane!
EDWARD: (mocking) Oh Doctor Crane, nyah nyah. GET IN THE CAR.
(Car doors close, car pulls away)
CRANE: Edward, I…
EDWARD: Hmm?
CRANE: Thank you. I don’t know how I woulda done without you there, so… thank you.
EDWARD: You’re welcome, Jon. It’s what colleagues do for each other.
CRANE: What about friends?
EDWARD: Hmm, I suppose friends would too.
QUERY & ECHO: Oooohhh!
EDWARD: Oh, just drive!
Comments
Ahhh this was great!
