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The Riddler Speaks - Casefile #0165
🕑 Added 2017-11-06 15:00:02 +0000 UTC TRS - Casefile #0165 (Lockup's Lockdown Part 1)HARVEY: What the fuck’s keepin’ him? It’s gonna be any minute now.
OSWALD: No idea. Hold on - is that him?
(Sound of running feet. EDWARD appears.)
OSWALD: What happened to you, dear boy? You look white as a sheet.
EDWARD: (out of breath) We have to leave. Now.
HARVEY: What the fu -
(Crackling of the PA system.)
SCARECROW: Good evening, Arkham Asylum.
HARVEY: Is that -
OSWALD: Quiet.
EDWARD: We have to -
OSWALD: I said quiet.
SCARECROW: Scarecrow welcomes you, one and all, to a night you will never forget.
HARVEY: Oh, fuck.
SCARECROW: Now, if you’re listening, Lyle Bolton… and I know you are. How ‘bout we play a game? Hide and Seek. First one found meets a most… frightening end.
OSWALD: Oh, dear.
SCARECROW: As for the rest of you - you best stay out of the way. Scarecrow never forgets a face.
BOLTON: So that’s his little game, is it? Fine. Now hear this! Jonathan Crane has officially become a security risk. Therefore -
EDWARD: No, no, no…!
BOLTON: CLOSE THE GATES! SHUT IT DOWN! ARKHAM ASYLUM IS ON LOCKDOWN.
(Alarms sound; gates slam shut.)
BOLTON: NO ONE GETS IN - NO ONE GETS OUT! GET ME JONATHAN CRANE!
HARVEY: What the hell, Nygma?
EDWARD: (angry) I TRIED to tell you! And now we’re STUCK in here!
OSWALD: Do you have something to do with this, Edward?
EDWARD: What? Why does everyone blame me? It - Bolton killed Ichabod. Jon lost all control; Scarecrow’s taken over, and now we’re all royally screwed!
HARVEY: Fucking Bolton. Piece of worthless shit. Trust him to fuck things up, and then fuck it up some more.
OSWALD: We’re trapped like rats in here. Well damned if I’m going to sit and wait and see who drops first; we need to formulate a plan of attack.
EDWARD: Attack on whom? Bolton, or Crane?
OSWALD: Whichever gets in the way.
HARVEY: First things first. Whatever we decide to do - you’re not comin’, Cobblepot.
OSWALD: Pardon me? You presume I’d rather sit upon my laurels, do you? That I’d rather be shielded like some gentle Gothamite in distress?
HARVEY: It’s not that. You’re the new mayor of Gotham. We can’t have you gettin’ hurt or killed in here.
EDWARD: He’s right, Oswald. You’re the one who has to get out of this alive; we need to hide you somewhere.
OSWALD: I concede that you have a point. Very well. Suggestions?
EDWARD: The guard station over there. You can lock yourself in.
HARVEY: There should also be some walkie-talkies in there - this place has no cell reception during a lockdown, but we’ll be able to stay in contact that way.
OSWALD: Very good - the guards have left to be with Bolton. You were right, Harvey: here are the radios. I’ll keep this one - you take this other one, Edward. Now. You know Crane best - what’s going to happen?
EDWARD: Nothing good.
HARVEY: That’s helpful.
EDWARD: Shove it.
OSWALD: I thought he was on medication?
EDWARD: He was. He’s supposed to be. It may have been losing its effectiveness. It was this Valentino mess; something about him seemed thinner. His grip was slipping. Scarecrow was too close to the surface.
OSWALD: Yes… That last Bolton incident was borderline sadistic.
EDWARD: (humourless laugh) Trust me; it’ll only get more sadistic.
OSWALD: He should have stayed in the hospital.
EDWARD: Yes, he should have - but then if he took care of himself, he wouldn’t be Jon.
HARVEY: So what are we supposed to do?
EDWARD: Stay out of his way. Scarecrow won’t stop until he gets to Bolton - and even then there’s no guarantee that he’ll stop at all.
HARVEY: Shit.
EDWARD: Yeah.
HARVEY: We need to shut down Crane, then.
EDWARD: Are you suggesting we kill him?
HARVEY: (shrug) Why not? Makes sense.
EDWARD: And kill him for what? Mental illness? You truly consider that to be the most logical course of action? How about we take a saw and split you down the middle to cure you? That’s logical, isn’t it?
HARVEY: Calm your shit, it’s just an idea.
EDWARD: Save the thinking for the more evolved among us, Cro-Magnon.
OSWALD: Let’s set that line of thinking aside for now. Could we perhaps convince Crane to regain control?
EDWARD: Not if he doesn’t want to be found. He’s hiding; it wasn’t a hostile takeover.
(POISON IVY appears.)
PAMELA: What’s going on?
EDWARD: Pamela. Out of solitary so soon?
PAMELA: Soon as I said I wouldn’t squeeze that Boomerang’s neck 'til his eyes popped out. Why are we on lockdown?
EDWARD: Bolton. Crane. Either, both, take your pick. It’s a heavyweight bout, and we’re all stuck in the middle.
PAMELA: Fabulous. Another bloody pissing contest. Don’t you know that lockdown shuts off the allegedly 'non-essential’ systems? The fluorescents that keep my plants alive are one of those. We have to get the power back on as soon as possible.
HARVEY: There are more important things going on here than your fuckin’ plants, Pamela.
PAMELA: Not to me, arsehole. Look - the boys need to put the rulers away and get their dicks back in their pants, pronto. So whatever you’re doing - I want to help it succeed.
HARVEY: What? You’re not going to be a part of this.
PAMELA: Oh the mean girls won’t let me sit with them? Boo hoo - and why the hell not?
HARVEY: Uhh… (gestures to his face) Look familiar? You’re the bitch who did this to our face.
PAMELA: I’d call it an improvement; it brought you out in the open. I did you a favour - you should be thanking me.
HARVEY: Oh, we’ll thank you, you bet we will. But we’re still not fuckin’ working with you, you treacherous shiksa.
PAMELA: Dearie me. How awful it must be to possess masculinity - it’s so fragile and pathetic.
EDWARD: Children, please…
HARVEY: Shut up, Nygma. Oswald - help us out here. We can’t work with her, or we’ll strangle her.
PAMELA: You lay so much as a fingertip on me and I’ll castrate you. Not that anyone would tell the difference; you’re a neutered guard dog already.
EDWARD: (grinning) Cerberus missing a head.
(HARVEY snarls.)
PAMELA: (chuckles) See?
HARVEY: Just choose! Or we’ll get out our damn coin and do the job ourselves!
OSWALD: This… requires consideration.
