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Dr. Jonathan Crane, MD - Entry 025
🕑 Added 2017-10-30 21:00:03 +0000 UTC CRANE: ENTRY 025GRACE: (over intercom) Edward Nygma’s here for his three-thirty.
(click) CRANE: Thank you, Grace. Send him in.
(door opens)
EDWARD: Oh, Christ. (closes the door) It had to be you.
CRANE: Have a seat, Edward.
EDWARD: (laughs) So YOU got the Arkham office, hmm? I’m amazed we can have this little powwow, what with your lips pressed so firmly against Jeremiah’s posterior.
CRANE: Charming as ever, I see. (crow squawk)
EDWARD: As I live and breathe, little Ikky! Surely, she can’t be the same Ikky.
CRANE: She is.
EDWARD: But that would make her… uhh…
CRANE: Thirty-three.
EDWARD: Good lord. Hello Ikky! (Ikky squawks) (EDWARD chuckles) I’m taking her out of the cage.
CRANE: Please don’t.
EDWARD: I took her out of the cage. (Ikky squawks, CRANE sighs) Who’s a pretty Ikky? (Ikky squawks) Yes, you are.
CRANE: Please – sit down.
EDWARD: Oh, fine. Come on, Ikky. (sits) I still don’t get it. Why would you name a girl Ichabod?
CRANE: Why not? Your father named you Edward.
EDWARD: Ikky, did you hear that? Jonny made a funny! (Ikky squawks) I know, I’m shocked, too. Maybe it’s another one of Karlo’s tricks.
CRANE: Have you been adju-
EDWARD: (interrupting) Where is Karlo, anyway?
CRANE: (annoyed) I’m sorry?
EDWARD: KARLO. Where’d they ship him off to?
CRANE: He’s down in Level 5.
EDWARD: Wrath… fitting. And how is our proverbial Phaistos?
CRANE: You answered your own question.
EDWARD: I thought as much. Well, I suppose you should stop dilly-dallying and get to the point of this pointless exercise. Just let me know when I should start crying and blaming my father for my life.
CRANE: Interesting you chose your father over your mother.
EDWARD: Oh please, I was just being facetious.
CRANE: Well did you get along with your father?
EDWARD: You know I didn’t; this is hardly news. Jack ‘Call Me Jackie’ Nashton was not someone you got along with. Especially not if you were an intellectual.
CRANE: Simple, was he?
EDWARD: Well, I was leaning towards ‘abusive dickhead’, but sure, lets go with ‘simple’.
CRANE: Did he ever hit you or your mother?
EDWARD: Obviously, Jonathan. (Ikky squawks) I didn’t wind up who I am today from getting too many hugs.
CRANE: Interesting.
EDWARD: Oh, is it? That’s funny, coming from you.
CRANE: I beg your pardon?
EDWARD: Beg away, Jonathan Ulysses Crane. When it comes to asshole fathers, your old man makes mine look like a saint.
CRANE: I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.
EDWARD: Oh, of course not. I’m sure every son of the South was named after a Union General.
CRANE: I think we’re done for today.
EDWARD: Shame. Things were just getting interesting.
CRANE: (presses a button) Grace – send Bolton to collect Mr. Nygma.
EDWARD: Dirty pool, Jonathan. Dirty pool. (Ikky squawks) Alright, Ikky – back to bed. (fluttering of wings) I can’t believe you still use a reel-to-reel.
CRANE: It does the job.
EDWARD: Yeah - so does this.
CRANE: Well what’s this?
EDWARD: It looks like a hearing aid, but it’s a recording device. It hears what you hear. NanoTech. I built it out of some LexCorp tech a couple years back; you tell it to record, it records. You tell it to upload – well, I imagine you get it. And, if something happens to you, it will auto-upload your last recording. Think of it as your own personal black box. I think you’ll find the quality exceeds that of a TC-630.
CRANE: (presses a button) Grace – send Brown instead of Bolton.
EDWARD: Much obliged, Jonathan.
