372 Pages We ll Never Get Back from patreon

372 Pages We ll Never Get Back patreon

Episode 124 – Gump & Co Ep 5

🕑 Added 2022-06-10 16:32:28 +0000 UTC

Comments

Justin Cicconi

Groom appears to be an unfunny bitter jackass. From the this will give you nightmares department can you imagine Cline writing a similar book about Wade and friends? Brrr.

Chaos Shadow

That's just Bob Honey.

372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Excellent run down!

Terry Thompson

Tom Hanks is still assing around talking about Gump https://movieweb.com/tom-hanks-saysforrest-gumps-best-picture-oscar-win-over-pulp-fiction-was-justified/amp/

Paco

I love every time we get to the end of a book and our genial hosts try to place the recently completed book in its place among the podcast pantheon. Since I know all you young people love a listicle, I thought I’d give you my own of the twenty books read thus far. It was easy to break them into three distinct groups; ranking within those groups a little harder. I am influenced by M & C’s opinion of course, but also factored in—level of cynicism, magnitude of offense to the reader (length of book), number of Simpsons references it takes to illustrate plot points (fewer is better), quality of humor elicited from the “dark web” and the Players, number of “settle downs”, and my own damn opinion. Trucking Thru Time – wang severin’, buckskin creamin’, bifurcated hero. Such a journey! The Eye Of Argon – “Maws” and “sluts” galore, the author’s joy over his material is evident throughout. 64 Squares Etc. – I am the Sherriff…of this listicle. Antigua Etc. – You’re a hero, and you’re a hero… Moon People – Oh dear, I hope the author’s sophomore English class was impressed! The Quilters Get Even – Everything is within a few miles of the Interstate you know. Ready Player One – Cline is a moron, but this started it all and spawned our beloved departments. Tek War – Who thought it was possible to describe all action through meetings held remotely? The Mister – Bleriana…’nuff said. Armada – Cline descends the moron ladder, but a “long finger” fetish is born. Lair Of The White Worm – Gothic language made this one tough, but special mongoose to the rescue. Digital Fortress – C’mon, Susan Fletcher's legs and universal sex appeal to old dudes everywhere. Midnight Sun – I hate to admit how many times I have fantasized about killing everyone in a room. Irene Iddesleigh – At least it was very short. Gump & Co. – Hyper-cynical and turgid, the author issues a middle-finger to the Gump-loving world. Ready Player Two – Cline vies for leadership of Morontown, turns his secondary hero into a psycho. My Immortal – Yep, troll. Modelland – The “Little Girl at Bedtime” character was very funny, and…nothing else was. Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff – I thought Mike might murder Sean Penn given the chance. Shadow Moon – When Mike admits he quit reading halfway through…this one will be hard to top.

Emily Brown

I will see yinz live one day dammit!!

andrew

The "J" stands for action!

Lorne Kates was going to change this name for April 1st but clicked SAVE too soon.

Real or fanfic: I play along at home, and while I haven't kept exact track, I tend to hit around 60%-- just slightly over coinflip. Of interest, though, when I re-listened to the Klein episodes with my wife-- even though I've heard the real/fanfics before-- and even though I KNEW the plot of the books-- I still only got in the 60-ish% range. The books are just so dumb & unmemorable, it's literally impossible to have them stay permanently in a brain.

Taylor Conner

This is painful to consider, but can you even imagine the kind of weak, sad jokes Groom would have made if Gump had been around in the Trump era? He would no doubt arrive years too late but think he was the first one ever to skewer this sacred cow, completely oblivious that the carcass had been picked clean. Just the saddest, most toothless orange skin/funny hair stuff you’ve ever seen and Groom would think he was really getting some good jabs in. Bone-chilling stuff.

Emily M

I might have laughed a bit if they did it for the This Island Earth movie. They used to just work those jokes into the movie, though. ("Did you know Nick went on to play...Pong in his underwear while drinking beer?") It was a system that worked perfectly well.

Emily M

I think Beyond the Bastards did it as well.

Emily M

The oyster thing is just a retread of the shrimp thing from the first book, right? He's going back to that well? Also that montage of Lieutenant Dan's ancestors dying in various wars is the only part of the movie that made me laugh out loud. (I like the movie fine. It's got a lot of good points, but I don't think it's very funny.) His family history was such a sad/funny part of Dan's story. It's a shame they wasted him here (and made him even more of a dick.)

Moviegique

ForFF rates RealTalk(TM): When the podcast started I could usually match or beat mjn. As it has progressed, I've been less able to hit...I'm sure I'm doing less than 50%. IDK what that signifies about him OR me.

Jennifer Tomich

You’re welcome. And the correct title ( thanks, lazy me) is The Way of the Shadow Wolves. I don’t recommend reading it, but I can only base that on I Don’t Even Own a Television’s episode covering the book : https://ideotvpod.libsyn.com/the-way-of-the-shadow-wolves

Kerry S.

~26min, On the topic of the annoying repetitive line, "So that's what we done." The movie had a catchphrase, "And that's all I have to say about that." Maybe "So that's what we done" was a half-hearted attempt at another somewhat similar catchphrase?

Kerry S.

Why did I have to read that Seagal has a totally-not-ghost-written novel? Now I'm gonna have to find that thing. PS there's a pretty good youngish Finnish band named "Steve 'n' Seagulls" too.

Kerry S.

No Time for Sgts was great, both the liveplay and the movie. Until my dying day I will never forget seeing a roomful of toilets salute.

Moviegique

In rewriting Lair of the White Worm, I realized something I never would have prior to 372 pages: the word "rig" in the pre-auto times was a term for a carriage. So "helluva rig" might have appeared in, e.g., Irene Iddlesleigh. Or in a rewrite of LotWW...

Moviegique

First Gulf War: IIRC, the UN demanded the forces stop at the Iraqi border. They decided there was no reason to go after Saddam and Schwarzkopf loudly (but briefly) objected. I assumed that's what Groom was referencing.

Jennifer Tomich

In honor of Rifftrax finally doing a Steven Seagull movie, I would like to nominate his totally not-ghost-written novel Secrets of the Shadow Wolves. Potential bonus material: there is a failed TV pilot that was made based on this book.

Mike Suhr

So now I’m a weirdo too? A jackal and a weirdo? Kinda think you are just a bit bitter that I am allowing you to read bad books for me, then tell me about them in a humorous and encapsulated way, instead of wasting my time and money and mind reading them myself. That being said, I would pay to listen to you two talk about just about anything, even oysters, for two hours and twelve minutes any day of the week. That being said, please don’t make the live show exclusively about oysters.

Jesse Shade

That studio note on the MST movie is insane! Not only was your show still running at the time and thus didn't need a definitive ending on Mike and the bots' futures, but that movie didn't have one single thing connecting to ANIMAL HOUSE or college in any way. Great book discussion though, it really does feel like Sean Penn read either this or the first book and thought: "What if this was shorter and had no discernable characters or realistic dialogue whatsoever?" RIP Mr Groom, but I think Zemeckis and Hanks made a right call not doing this as a movie.

Moviegique

(Anyone else hearing the ghost of Larry King laughing uproariously? Yeah, me, neither.)

Moviegique

"No Time For Sergeants" was a teleplay in 1955 written by Ira Levin and later turned into a movie. The Teleplay aired as part of The United States Steel Hour, which, as M&C may not recall was really a hot topic in the '90s. I'm pretty sure MST3K riffed most of their stuff.