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Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "King Kong"
🕑 Added 2022-05-20 17:36:32 +0000 UTCHey, Mike here: I'm going to do a quick review of Conor's "draft copy" of his story "King Kong."
Strong start. Marred only slightly by the typo. Happily his teacher corrected it to the proper spelling "fuz".
Again, well done: headlong rush into the story, no fussing about with HOW the ball of faz grew to be a 50 foot tall ape. (Side note; good height selection, too. Coming just 10 feet shy of Glen aka The Amazing Colossal Man.)
Slight stumble here, as I had it in my head that he already lived in Ney Yoak. But that's my fault, my preconceived notions about 50 foot-tall balls of fuz / ape.
I feel like young Conor, who to this point had been delivering the goods, really phoned this one in. I suspect he glanced up from his pages, saw the playground, the tetherball swaying in the light spring breeze, and just dashed off this, what?, building full of people expectantly waiting for the creature? C'mon, you can do better than this.
He's back. Painting pictures with his words and his marker. Were I his editor I may have suggested the word "moonless" or the phrase "especially dark", but still, well done.
The tap?! Was Conor presaging the microbrew craze? What tap?!
Ok, my shortcoming here: Did the fazballape sort of ingest The Tap? And The Tap turned from yellow to red? I fully admit, this could be like Thomas Pynchon or James Joyce where it's my fault that I don't understand.
Well, he stuck the landing. He followed the rule, "Tell 'em what you're going to tell them. Tell them. Tell 'em what you told 'em."
And I'm left haunted by the mystery of just what the hell is or was The Tap?!
Comments
Bob Fingerman
Man, this made me laugh hard! Bravo to both the author, his first editor, and finally his critic, Mike. A group bow is in order. (Throwing roses at the stage)
Justin Cicconi
Well, it’s better than Gump & Co.
