372 Pages We ll Never Get Back
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My Immortal Ep. 3 - ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!11” We shooted.
🕑 Added 2020-07-21 17:44:09 +0000 UTCMike and Conor try to make sense of this madness. They come up empty.
Still, there are highlights: Conor does a sonic challenge sexily. Mike manages not to follow a single plot point. The Dumb Sentences of the Week burst forth like milk and honey from the promised land. (Dumb despite the great work from Raven and Medusa!)
PLUS This ep compares our author's work to:
- James Joyce
- The Bible
- The Tempest
- David Foster Wallace
- Gone with the Wind
- Anthony Wiener
CONTENT WARNING: This fanfic contains descriptions of self-harm as well as very salty language and adult situations. We pass over them lightly as always but forewarned is forearmed.
Comments
Kelly Long
I need an audiobook of Mike reading My Immortal!
A. D. Jameson
Chiming in to second this vital point about TATTOO YOU. As well as to add, people can think whatever they like about EMOTIONAL RESCUE (I kind of like it myself), but there's no denying the greatness of "She's So Cold."
Rick Reynolds
I had a really hard time understanding this one. Like I kind of understood Eye of Argon - poor writing from an immature person that would have plot/character problems and some typos. But I really do not understand this writing style. I assume the author is purposely misspelling lots of words in some kind of weird internet slang writing that I have never seen before. And this author being not all that careful/intelligent/whatever, is also misspelling the weird internet slang. Is that what's going on? It takes effort to parse the text, and that makes reading this less fun.
Gina Dalfonzo
Mike's Scottish accent was the highlight for me. VERY glad I was not taking a sip of water just at that moment.
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
Hmm, interesting insights. I will consult with Conor about a poll from actual readers. Not that that solves anything, clearly, it'd just be interesting to see where everyone stands.
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
But what about a four letter word for dirt????
Wondercake
As an elementary school teacher, some of this is dead on, especially the odd focus on fashion and the confused romantic relationships. Twelve year old girls write very much like this. I do think it's a troll written by someone who can channel her twelve year old self. The tell for me is the author's notes. I was a goth teeneager in the nineties, and goth girls do not argue over sweaters. Tights or gowns, maybe, but not sweaters.
Jesse Shade
Also: I believe "a pentagram between PERSON'S NAME and PERSON'S NAME" is supposed to be a satanically themed variation on the phrase "a cross between PERSON'S NAME and PERSON'S NAME", because satanists use the symbol of the pentagram instead of the "cross". Geddit, becuz goffik!!1!
Jesse Shade
Great book this time, guys! It was fun to revisit this story 10 years after reading it alongside my Creative Arts Society in college, and both of you made convincing cases for it being either a troll or a semi-genuine fanfic. I must, however, put my foot down, because the Rolling Stones did release one last really great album--TATTOO YOU--one year after their ill-fated "disco" album EMOTIONAL RESCUE. As for the rest of their discography, it's got some great songs and their blues cover album was really good, but otherwise, I'll agree they never had a truly great original album after 1981.
Taylor Conner
If you’ve been to Disneyland lately you’d know that a “Nightmare Before Christmas” cigar is not beyond the realm of possibility
PaperPennies
I'm gonna be one of Those People and point out that the Penseive, which Enoby uses to travel through time, does Not Do That. It's used to store and explore memories, so it's sort of a flashback machine, but definitely not a time machine. It plays such a major role in the plot of Half-Blood Prince that I don't know how anyone who actually read it could have missed that fact. I know it really doesn't matter since Tara ignores canon like 90% of the time, but still. And it's even worse because A) there are actual time travel devices in the HP universe which she could have used instead, and B) if she was going to have Morty Mcfli show up later anyway, she could have just had that happen in the first place and used that actual time machine. I know, that's so the least of the problems with My Immortal that it's hardly worth mentioning. But somehow it sticks out even more because it seems like it's the one part of her "plot" that she tried to think through. It's the only place where she made any attempt at actual ideas rather than repeating the same stuff about goff clothes and goff music and banging cute goff boys. They weren't good ideas, but she tried, almost, which makes it a little sadder to read than all the rest of the nonsense. Most of the story feels like she knew she was changing/ignoring things to fit her desired version of the HP world, but the time travel thing feels like she thought she was onto something. She was not.
Mike Nusbaum
I was an MP in the Army as well. The written word was butchered there of course but it was later in life that I really saw how creative people can be with English. I spent 30 years in Public Safety and have read many statements written by criminals, witnesses and victims. There were some real head scratchers in there. If the author is a real person I would guess she skated through the educational system like many do and unfortunately couldn’t put two words together to save her life. Don’t feel bad though because I’m sure that this is the way humanity has worked throughout the ages. There will always be people who can barely put pen to paper.
Balaji S
Well thank Satan dat's over (get it cause this book sucked?).
John G
Brilliant!
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
Here's a doc with the full text of the "in the style of" emails from today's ep. Well done everyone! https://pastebin.com/3eAUcz0d
Mike Truman
Excellent work by the e-mailers converting other works of fiction into My Immortal-speak, with bonus points to Lair of Da White Worm.
Mike Truman
I wouldn't limit this to the service. There are a lot of people who can speak the language just fine, but can't spell anything. Evidently it's no longer a valued skill.
Rick Drake
Having been in the military myself, I can concur with the assertion that too many people in the service don't have the best grasp of their native language.
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
I don't think so, I'll certainly bring it to her attention, thanks.
Emma Schroeder
Has Bridget seen Minnesota's own Wings Over America: A Tribute to Paul McCartney & Wings yet?
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back
!! Well then why no (lolz becuz im goffik get it?)?? That would have been a courtesy to the reader!
Nathan Filizzi
Since you didn't quite seem to get it, when she uses the "pentagram between" thing, she means "cross between," but she doesn't want to say cross because she's gothic/ a vampire and and the cross is a christian symbol.
