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God Save the Queen: Book 2 Chapter 5
🕑 Added 2023-05-21 16:26:03 +0000 UTCNotes on Huttese: There aren’t enough words in Huttese for me to work off of, so I made most of it up, here’s the dictionary I looked at before deciding to mostly come up with huttese on my own, it’s neat.
Characters this chapter
Neron In’vess—Admiral of the Naboo First Fleet. Old salt, and a deft hand at carrier battle.
Ryker “Titan” T’nel—Gold leader, Naboo First Fleet. First ace of the Naboo Royal Navy.
The man, the myth, the legend—Jabba the Hutt
Chapter 5: Get What You Pay For
Jabba’s throne room reminded me of a nightclub.
I pushed my way through the dancing throng of supplicants and toadies at the bottom of the stairs. Smoke filled the air from dozens of pipes, nearly hiding the dark blue Twi’lek dancing near Jabba’s throne.
“More slaves.” Sabé pressed up close to me from behind. “You’d think he could afford to hire his own entertainment.”
The smokey—and unless my Ryl failed me, incredibly raunchy—jazz swallowed her words, even still I turned over my shoulder. “Let’s not speak poorly of our host.”
Sabé rolled her eyes, but nodded all the same. Unfortunately, even with her help, we weren’t able to push our way to the front of Jabba’s throne until the song ended. I swallowed a grimace of my own as the panting slave did her best to look enthusiastic, despite the rivulets of sweat running down her limbs.
Jabba caught sight of us, not that three women in full combat armor were hard to spot. I saw him lean over to his majordomo, another Twi’lek, this one with skin more pallid than his yellowing teeth. The Twi’lek took a few steps forward, clapping his hands twice.
The crowd quieted as he smiled down at us. “Presenting, to the mighty Jabba, Queen Padme Amidala of the Naboo!”
I stepped forward, metal boots clinking against the metal grate before the throne. Behind me, Bo-Katan and Sabé waited at the edge.
Jabba rubbed his belly, one stubby hand tracing the folds in his skin. As a Hutt, he looked like a massive, obese slug with a too-wide face.
I gave a sharp smile and bowed. “Our greetings, ‘mighty’ Jabba.” I rose. “We are pleased to be able to speak with you so…quickly.”
He’d kept me waiting for the better part of a week.
He leaned forward. “Me’chukka de qwot’ta. Boggee.”
The pale Twi’lek translated. “The great Jabba heard of your desire for a meeting, and was curious.”
My lips twitched. I was rusty, but even I knew enough Huttese to know the great Jabba had hardly been so polite.
“We come to discuss trade opportunities that will benefit us both.”
Jabba waved a hand. “Gerpha mu d’kkaala. Ssshika me’chooka.”
“If you have tribute, bring it forward.” If anything, the Twi’lek’s smile grew even more grotesque. “How can one judge the value of such an offer, without any material goods to consider?”
I raised an eyebrow. “The whole galaxy knows the value of Naboo plasma, great wealth flows from the Core to Naboo because of it.”
Jabba laughed, a deep and booming sound. “Bek’kaa m’doogee.”
The room laughed at the idiom, the Huttese equivalent of the ‘Emperor with No Clothes’. Funny, considering that Jabba didn’t wear any either.
“Jabba questions the wisdom of such words,” the majordomo said. “This one humbly suggests you return with the proper tribute. Now…”
I took another step forward. “Then perhaps the great Jabba would be interested in the remains of his pirate fleet?”
The Twi’lek’s eyes flicked back to his master. After a moment, he said, “Jabba has no knowledge of whatever pirates you speak of.” Behind him, Jabba gave a nod, eyes narrowed. “Such baseless accusations speak ill of you, Naboo Queen.”
My smile widened. “How wonderful.” I clapped my hands. “They insistedthat they were in your employ, naturally I did not believe it and rushed here right away to set the record straight.”
Jabba idly reached out, grabbing a wriggling fish from the small glass bowl at his side. He slurped it down in one motion, before speaking again. “Quba nlop nrom bu lugga doma. Eesgoo m’chukka, besh hunto bu duji.”
The majordomo nodded obsequiously. “Beneficent Jabba will forgive your thoughtless insult, should you offer proper recompense.”
“Recompense? Why, I know just the thing.” I paused for a moment. “The First Fleet of Naboo will drive out every pirate and smuggler from the Tatooine system for you, mighty Jabba.”
You could have heard a pin drop in the throne room. To the side, I saw the blue Twi’lek singer hunch slightly, like she was going to be sick.
I continued as if I didn’t notice the sudden change in atmosphere. “After all, since none of those low-life scoundrels are associated with you, we will gladly wipe away the stain on our honor by excoriating any who would darespeak in your name.”
The majordomo began to speak, but Jabba raised a three-fingered hand.
“Mikiyuna, pushee.”
The pale Twi’lek cleared his throat. “The general audience has ended! The wise Jabba wishes to discuss further with the Naboo.”
The other supplicants couldn’t clear the room fast enough.
The moment the last Aqualish fled up the stairs, a pair of Gamorreans stepped forward, barring the way out with crossed axes.
I stood silently with my retinue, ignoring the other Gamorreans stepping forward around the room. Another guard squealed at the band, ushering the slaves from the audience chamber by a smaller door that blended seamlessly with the sandstone walls.
Jabba remained silent, staring at me with eyes as big as my whole hand.
I let out a breath, trusting Sabé and Bo to have my back. Granted, we didn’t have any weapons with us at the moment, but I’d come out of worse spots before.
“Quu dopa-meeky wermo seta gu Jabba gu’ppa du gettaku?”
“What double-crossing fool claimed that the magnificent Jabba was in league with these…pirates?”
“Does it matter?” I spread my arms. “I know you sent them to kill me, and now, you know I know.”
The Twi’lek hissed. “And yet you show your face before Jabba the mighty? Are you a fool as well?”
I ignored him, keeping my gaze locked on Jabba. “I was quite serious about my desire to open trade with the Outer Rim by way of Tatooine.” I didn’t bother breaking down the value of the Llanic spice lane to the Hutt who’d no doubt exploited every inch of it. “We both stand to make a mountain of credits if we work together instead of against each other.”
“Gu do’cha do wo’kka.”
I almost laughed, he wanted to know how he could trust me?
“You tried to kill me; it didn’t stick. Now, I’ll burn out every pirate and smuggler from Mos Eisley to Anchor Head. It’s just business.” I waved my hand. “Unless you’d like to take my offer.”
Jabba muttered something unkind under his breath before asking the question I was hoping for.
“What,” his majordomo translated, “do you propose instead?”
“Why, I would quite like to set up warehouses on Tatooine. My crews would be happy to pay the proper taxes on our goods directly to you, great Jabba. All we ask is that no wermo gets the idea that Naboo ships are easy prey.” I smiled. “I would rather not send my navy farther down the spice lane, but of course, business comes first.”
Jabba stroked his neck. “Te chu’kka de mokka hanu.”
“Many goods already flow through Tatooine.” The Twi’lek rubbed his thumb against his fingers. “Yet Naboo asks for special treatment?”
I laughed. “What goods?” I shook my head. “If there is a bright center of the universe, Tatooine must be the system it is farthest from. Nothingflows through Tatooine but spice and desperation. Naboo, on the other hand, has our pick from the wealth of Kuat, Coruscant, and a dozen different core worlds besides. They throw credits our ways like trifles, because they want plasma, because they are rich and lazy, but most of all,” I leaned forward, “because they really don’t understand how much money they’ve hoarded away from the rest of the Galaxy.”
Jabba said nothing.
“Now,” I continued, “far be it from us to assume that you care about enriching the rest of the Rim, but wouldn’t you like it if more of that bounty flowed back to us?”
“Doo’ka de moogii?”
“The wise Jabba wonders what benefit you would gain from such an arrangement?” the Twi’lek asked.
I raised an eyebrow. “Besides access to the Llanic spice run without having to police it with my own ships?” I said. “Naboo has half a dozen Lucrehulks dedicated to trade, and yet, sometimes my captains can only afford to fill their holds halfway, because the Mid Rim does not have the credits to afford such goods. It is a problem I never thought to have.”
“You seek to open new markets in the Outer Rim?” the majordomo asked. “And from thence… transport raw materials back to the core worlds.”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “For instance, from Tatooine, I am quite interested in mining phrik; I hear it has remarkable properties.”
Jubba grunted, eating another fish.
“Oh it does, it does!” The Twi’lek rubbed his hands together. “I am certain that we will be able to offer lucrative mining rights, should an agreement be reached…”
I spread my arms. “Well, great Jabba. What do you say?”
He thought for a moment. “Mo dogii, vo ku’bba nro noma nokka.”
I paused.
“Ah.” The majordomo stepped forward, giving me a mocking bow. “The mighty Jabba wonders, what might happen if he refuses your offer, and takes you instead, to prevent retribution?”
Around the room, the Gamorreans shuffled, readying their axes.
I took a few steps back, off the opening of the rancor pit as my two guards put themselves at my back.
Jabba continued to watch placidly from his throne, waiting for an answer.
“Well,” I said. “I imagine something like this might happen.” I snapped my finger twice.
Two shots rang out from the stairs.
With a squeal, the guards fell. One staggered, pushing itself back to a knee, before a Beskar-booted foot pushed the hulking alien back to the ground and silenced it with another blue stun bolt.
As the rest of the guards turned to face the Mandos at the stairs, another pair slipped out of the servant’s door before the rest of the Gamorreans could scramble into cover.
In a heartbeat, the throne room had been divided between Jabba and his remaining guards and my ten Mandos who had infiltrated his palace.
“Wh-what is the meaning of this?”
I smiled. “I noticed that you were watching our men, but of course, our praetorians are so eye-catching, it allowed our Mando’ade to slip unnoticed out of the city. How fortunate, that they showed up right here, at this very moment.”
The majordomo huffed, a sickly flush coming over his skin. “Y-you dare attack the incomparable Jabba in his own palace? You shall be killed for this, slaughtered like—!”
Jabba’s laughter cut him off, deep belly-laugh echoing off the walls as he leaned back on his throne.
He waved his hand, and his guards relaxed.
I rose from my half-crouch, raising my arm. As one, the Mandalorians holstered their blasters.
Jabba spoke again, and I grinned before the majordomo could bite out the words.
“Wise Jabba will hear your terms.”
“Wonderful!” I clapped once. “We are certain we will be able to arrive at an equitable agreement. There is just one non-negotiable item.”
“Oh?”
I looked Jabba dead in the eye. “I want Llanic.”
*~*~*
The bridge of the Theed was a party.
Admiral Invess clapped me on the back and handed me a flute of champagne. “I can’t believe you pulled it off, Amidala.”
I smiled, sipping my flute. “It was just business.”
“Even still, a toast!” He raised his glass. “To the most successful anti-piracy campaign in the history of Naboo!”
The bridge crew, at full duty stations, raised their glasses with a cheer.
I raised my own cup, nodding to the proud men and women, human and otherwise, of the Naboo Royal Navy. I leaned towards In’vess, voice light. “Don’t celebrate too early, Admiral, we still have to take the system.”
“Why do you think the bridge crew has sparkling cider?” He smiled, setting aside his own drink untouched. “The real service will be after.”
The crew members quickly finished their flutes and returned to their stations, but the festive atmosphere didn’t abate. In’vess and I stood at the center of the room, just offset from the massive holoprojector that dominated the control sphere. The rest of the bridge spread out from us in concentric rings of computer banks, perfect for running a full fleet. At the moment, the holoprojector showed an image of First Fleet, three strike wings fully deployed. My ship, the First Salvo, was still mission killed, which is why I was sitting out this operation.
“Report from the Llanic system, sir!” the comms officer called.
In’vess folded his hands behind his back. “Let’s hear it.”
“Station control agrees to hand over codes as soon as the ‘pirate threat’ is pushed out of the system. As for the pirates, they ran off our scouting ship with no exchange of fire, but they’re well dug in, sir!”
“Put the situation on holo.”
A second later, the projector shifted, showing the Llanic system. First fleet was just a short jump away; we hadn’t moved into the system yet, because despite Jabba’s agreement, there was a small contingent of smugglers and pirates who’d banded together rather than let us waltz right in.
On the holo, I saw now ten ships, mostly freighters, but with three corvettes and what looked like a substantially up-gunned frigate holding position close to the spindly, three-armed affair that was Llanic Station.
I hummed. “A bit more than we expected.” Really, only the frigate and the two corvettes were any real threat. Most of the freighters would struggle to take out more than a fighter or two unless there was a Skywalker on board.
“Rather nasty point defense coverage on the frigate.” In’vess stroked his mustache.
“Hardly seems compliant with the reforms.”
He nodded at my words. “Recent work: I’d wager a smarter than average pirate heard the Naboo were getting smart with fighters and decided to upgrade his vessel.” He chuckled. “It would be quite the pickle to assault it head on. Normally I’d send a wing around to flank it, but they’re holding too close to the station for that.”
I crossed my arms. “A weakness we’ve discussed.” Carrier doctrine allowed us to pack a whole lot of striking power into each Lucrehulk, but while fighters could hit harder than their equivalent mass in capital ships—at least under the Ruusan Reforms—they lacked the corresponding durability going after hard targets like this. But… “You have a different idea.”
“I’ve been puzzling over this since our last engagement,” In’vess replied. “Traditionally, we’d make use of our escort ships to push them away from the station before knifing that clever spacer with proton torpedoes. Simple, effective, but slow. I believe I came to a rather ingenious solution.” He smiled. “While you were busy on Tatooine, I’ve drilled it repeatedly, but in truth, I’m somewhat nervous to put it into action.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you the one who told me that hesitation has no place on the battlefield?”
He nodded once. “Navigation.”
“Coordinates locked in, Admiral! Standing by for the jump to hyperspace.”
A second eyebrow joined the first. “The whole fleet?”
An honest to god grin spread over In’vess’s face. “Watch and learn, Captain. This old dog has a new trick of his own.” He turned towards the outer wall of the command sphere. “Pull up external view.” The screen cleared, showing the front of the Lucrehulk, its two massive arms coming around to bracket the view of deep space.
“Battle stations.”
Red lights flashed over the bridge.
“All wings, report.”
“This is Platinum Leader, standing by.”
“Indigo Leader, standing by.”
“Gold leader, all fighters are locked and loaded!”
In’vess nodded once, folding his hands behind his back. “Jump.”
“Jumping on three! Two!—”
The ship whined, and for a moment, everything in front of us stretched into infinity.
The view screen flashed blue and white, unable to truly display the flickering lights of hyperspace. The ship hummed, an almost gleeful tone that ran up my feet into my bones. I’d never been one to ascribe emotions to a ship, but here, at the beating heart of a ship so massive an entire town could live inside of it?
I understood, just a little.
Reality warped, snapping back right in front of our eyes. I glanced to the holo; we’d reverted less than a hundred kilometers from the station.
Alone.
“Get me clean firing solutions on the enemy vessels!” In’vess barked. “Close with that frigate, let’s see how smart her captain really is!”
I stood, silently, as the Lucrehulks engines roared, pushing us towards the enemies at best speed. For a moment, the enemy ships didn’t even return fire. I imagined they must be shocked by the sight of a Lucrehulk transport bearing down on them like a dreadnaught.
Then the turbo lasers started.
I watched a wave of red blasters hit the Lucrehulk. They peppered our shields, growing increasingly accurate as we closed.
But.
“Shields?” In’vess asked.
“Holding steady, sir! Not even scratching the paint.”
A startled laugh burst out of my throat as our sparse return fire found one of the freighters, sending it skittering out of formation.
“Conventional wisdom says protect the carrier,” In’vess told me, conversationally. “After all, it’s your single point of failure, and even an up-gunned Lucrehulk can’t compare battery fire to a handful of escort ships.”
Our gunners tracked the loose frigate, knocking out its shields. Once a blast winged it, the captain turned and fled. Distantly, I heard intercepted comm traffic yelling at the smuggler to get back in formation to no avail.
“But Lucrehulks aren’t conventional carriers.”
I laughed again. “We have thicker shields than a heavy cruiser.”
“And more mass than one as well.” In’vess took a step forward. “All those days, planning jump patterns to hide our carriers after deploying fighters, when the answer was just to bring it along for the ride.”
I turned back to the view screen. “Even still, aren't we getting a little close, Admiral?”
“Of course not, Captain.” He stroked his mustache. “I’m going to shove my ship down the enemy’s throat and choke them on it.” He sucked in a deep breath. “All hands, brace for impact! Helm, peel that frigate off the station like a mynok!”
“Course locked in!”
I reached out, grabbing onto the supporting rail around the command dais. As I watched, we shoved our way next to the station, freighters and corvettes scrambling out of the way. One of the Lucrehulk’s massive arms clipped the pirate frigate, shields sparking.
Barely a tremor ran through the hull as we slipped above the station with barely a hundred meters to spare.
I found myself grinning.
Now we sat, the Theed’s tip just above Llanic Station, as all of our batteries began to fire in concert. I laughed again. “The only time we can shoot all our guns is when we’re completely surrounded!”
“That’s how I came up with the idea.” Admiral In’vess placed his hands on his hips, eyes locked on the tactical holo. “The pirates can already bring all their turbolasers to bear, no matter where we stand.”
I shook my head. “You took the jewel of the fleet, a capital ship we literally cannot afford to replace, and shoved it into the center of an enemy fleet!”
It didn’t matter that they were pirates, that they were barely denting our shields, the sheer audacity of the maneuver had me scrambling for a proper response.
“Ah, but that’s not the best part, Amidala,” In’vess replied.
“What’s the best part?”
He pointed towards the holo. “The best part is it’s going to work.”
I turned, watching silently as three strike wings worth of fighters reverted back to realspace around the pirate fleet. They broke by squadrons, pinning priority targets against the Theed’s shields. My grin felt plastered to my cheeks as Ryker and his wingmates shoved a full salvo of proton torpedoes up the frigate’s engines and got away with barely a scratch. The pirate flagship listed in space, guns going silent.
The rest of the fleet broke and fled.
“Now that,” In’vess said, “merits a celebration.”
Bonus Scene
[Didn’t feel like fleshing this out, but it is canon. Here’s what Sabé was doing while Padme was back with the fleet.]
“Hey, kid.”
Kitster glanced up, tensing slightly at the sight of a familiar woman. “You’re…Sayb?”
“Sabé.” The woman tossed him a credit chit. “You did a good job earlier.”
Kit tucked the chit into his tunic; he could find out somewhere to exchange it for real money later. “Did you need something?”
“Need to find someone who can sell us land, and won’t screw us over, hopefully.” Sabé pulled a face. “I know nothing about building in the desert, but here I am.”
“Building?” He perked up: now that bit of info was a juicy payday. Most people still thought the Naboo would up and leave any day now.
“Yep.” Sabé nodded. “Undeveloped, north side of the city would be preferable. We’re gonna be building warehouses, so let your friends know if they’re looking for jobs.”
Kit tilted his head. “Gonna be hard if you wanna pay in republic credits.” He patted his tunic. “Not a lot of demand for those.”
Sabé smiled. “That’s the trick, we’re going to create the demand.”
Kit frowned at her, but the tall woman just waited.
“Well,” he wheedled. “He don’t sell for cheap, but if you want someone who won’t screw you over either, I’d talk to Greedo son of Greedo.”
“Greedo son of Greedo?” Sabé cocked an eyebrow. For a second, she looked almost exactly like the queen, despite the height difference.
Kitster shook his head. “It’s a weird Rodian thing.”
“Right. Well, where can I find him?” She took out another credit chit. Kitster gave her a look. “Promise you’ll be able to spend it.”
He rolled his eyes. “This way.”
Later
“Yes, this contract looks good to me.” Greedo son of Greedo nodded, passing the data tablet back to Sabé. “I don’t take credits though.”
Sabé sighed. “How about plasma?”
A spark of interest glinted in Greedo’s black eyes, but before he could respond, the door to his office burst open. A Rodian child tumbled into the room, toy blaster in hand. “Freeze, human!” His Rodian was raspy and pitchy, like a teenager’s.
“Greedo!” Greedo son of Greedo stood up and rounded the desk. “Not when I’m working!”
“Daad, c’mon.” Greedo… the younger? Greedo the younger folded his arms, long mouth pouting. “You said we could play bounty today!”
Greedo son of Greedo sighed. “Please forgive me, Ms. Sabé. I try to teach my son proper business manners, but he’s still a child.”
“Am not! And I’m not gonna be a business man either. I’m gonna be a bounty hunter!”
Greedo the elder shook his head. “You’ll get yourself shot in some seedy Cantina, more like.”
Sabé covered her smile. Idly, she wondered if her liege had been so headstrong as a child. Certainly, Padme had never allowed anyone to tell her no.
“If you’re interested,” she said. “We’re going to be building an Academy.”
“An Academy?” Greedo the younger asked. “For what?”
“For the Naboo Royal Navy.” Sabé smiled. “Lots of good spacers grow up out here on the rim, figure that some of them might want more from life than smuggling and back-alley blaster fights. You’ll get to see the galaxy.” She flicked her eyes over to Greedo the elder. “And it’s probably a more respectable job than bounty hunting.”
Greedo the younger huffed. “Nothing’s cooler than bounty hunters!”
Sabé laughed. “Not even…Mandalorians?”
Greedos eyes widened. “You know a Mandalorian?”
“I’ve trained alongside them,” Sabé said. “And so has Queen Amidala.”
Greedo let out an amazed breath. “Wizard.”
Comments
Endymion2314
I'm reminded of Lisa's line to Taylor that she never asks for anything unless she has a gun to their head ,.
Joseph Marcia
I haven’t seen Macross, but it’s cool to see that someone came up with a similar strategy in such a successful series!
Dusk Star
Oh man - setting up recruiting for the Naboo Navy on Tatooine is going to have *consequences*. Good ones or bad ones, I'm not sure yet!
Waldo Terry
Was that a star wars flavored Daedalus Attack from Macross?! Great chapter! Loved the *ahem* negotiations, although I'd really like to see how Tadme sells the Jabba deal to Anakin (if they're still in touch).
