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Four’s a Party Chapter 4: Twenty
🕑 Added 2020-07-13 06:19:04 +0000 UTCI smiled at the window displaying my gold balance.
After turning in the goblin quest and making a decent start on our loan, we still had more than enough left over for meals, a place to sleep, and some real armor. Part of that was because we came back with almost sixty sets of goblin ears, and so we got paid extra. Really, it was enough to almost make me want to skip on the way to the smithy we visited yesterday.
Amy poked me in the side before I could really get going, though. “Stop that. It’s creepy.”
Spoilsport.
I dismissed the window with a sigh. “Spoken like a true trust fund baby.” She just couldn’t appreciate the joy of being in the black. I mean, sure there was a point where you had effectively infinite money, but that just meant you only had problems that money couldn’t solve, and you were back to guarding shipments of supplies and medicine into your territory anyway.
Balancing a budget, on the other hand, had been an exercise in control during a time in my life when I’d had relatively little power over the things that truly mattered. The Wards salary had not been large, nor were my expenses, but it gave me something to do between pretending to be a functional human being and beating the crap out of Theo.
I did miss my Wards team, I decided, just a little bit.
Not enough that I’d want them here though. God, could you imagine trying to manage Grace, Tecton, and Cuff in a generic fantasy setting?
I’d go crazy.
“I am not a trust fund baby.” Amy’s words knocked me out of my reverie. “You’re the one who had an actual trust fund.”
“Oh yes, because the PRT paid that one out to my bank, you know, before Scion blew it up.”
“The bank?”
“No Amy, the PRT.”
She giggled, before clapping a hand over her mouth. “Taylor!”
“What, too soon?”
She whacked my arm. “Way too soon, idiot.”
“Why?” I rolled my arm. “There’s no one around to get upset.”
“I’m here, you know,” Amy said.
“Didn’t the PRT throw you in jail?”
She paused, finger raised, before slowly lowering it. “Technically, I threw myself in jail?”
I raised an eyebrow.
She sighed. “Sure whatever, I hated Piggot too.”
We turned the corner. “See? She was inherently dislikable! And you weren’t there, but the next two directors were even worse!”
“What?” Amy glanced in my direction. “No way.”
“Well Calvert was literally Coil.”
She hummed. “I think I heard something about that, before Acidbath changed the channel. What happened to him anyway?”
“I shot him.”
Amy turned to look at me.
I folded my arms defensively. “I had to! His power was literally infinite retries. If I didn’t kill him he would have come back and ruined everything.”
Amy’s eyebrow climbed higher. “And what happened to Tagg, again?”
I coughed. “I may have killed him a bit… with my bugs.”
“Gun too personal for this one?”
“He sent Dragon and a totally reformed Armsmaster to arrest me in the middle of Arcadia!” I threw my arms out. “During lunch.”
“And so you killed him for breaking the unwritten rules?” Amy gave me a look.
“No, actually, I killed him when Alexandria came to the Bay just to interrogate me and made it seem like she was hunting down the only people I cared about in the entire world and murdering them.” I shrugged. “But I understand, it’s all po-tay-to-, pot-tah-to to you people.”
Amy boggled for a second. “Okaaaaaaay, um. I didn’t mean to step on that landmine.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ve had years to get over it at this point.”
“That’s…”
“Years.”
“Soooo…” Amy paused, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. “We’re just gonna pretend this conversation never happened and go buy some armor, right?”
I nodded decisively. “May we never speak of it again.”
“Okay, cool. ‘Cause I just want to…” Amy trailed off as we turned a corner and saw a cart full of boxes in front of the shop we were headed too. There was a young man in a blue jacket as well, standing on a ladder as he unscrewed the shop’s sign.
“Wow,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting him to literally pack up because of you, Amy.”
“God, shut up,” she said, rolling her eyes. I’m sure we both felt a surge of relief as we found something new, and not Earth Bet related, to argue about. “I bet it’s just a delivery or something.”
“How much?”
“What?”
My lips twitched. “How much are you willing to bet?”
She grumbled. “I just want to buy my armor.”
“So.” I hummed. “You’re saying you’re scared.”
Amy paused, before turning to glare at me. “I know what you’re doing.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And what am I doing, Amelia?”
She glared at me for another second, before deliberately turning and marching towards the black haired man on the ladder.
I went to push up my glasses, just to bop myself between the eyes, flinching back for a second. Ugh, not that I wasn’t grateful that Amy had fixed my vision, but it was taking some getting used to.
Amy glanced over my shoulder and snickered when she saw me rubbing my nose.
That bitch. She’d changed my eyes just so she could make fun of me for it, hadn’t she?
I’d show her not to mess with me.
I’d show them all.
For some reason, Amy stopped sniggering when she saw my expression. She may have even looked slightly panicked as she turned around and continued walking.
Really, I couldn’t say why. I was just a bard after all!
“Excuse me,” I called as we came up on the young man. “Can you tell us what happened to this smithy? My friend and I wanted to buy some equipment.”
The man stopped, glancing down at the two of us in surprise. “Huh? Oh the owner sold out to Aldebrant Arms this morning.” He shrugged. “I had some time off, so I came by to help set things up.”
As he spoke, two other men came out of the storefront and picked up some more of the crates in the cart, carrying them back inside. When I looked through the window, I could see them taking out various bits of weapons and armor, probably show pieces, as well as all the bits and bobs necessary to run a successful shop.
“Really?” I asked. “Why in the world would he do that.”
The man coughed. “Ah, well. Mr. Damask said something about feeling like he wasn’t cut out for business.”
I turned, smirking at Amy. “See? I win.”
She shoved me. “We didn’t bet anything, idiot.”
“Only because you knew I’d win.”
“Yes. And you know what you won?” Amy glared at me. “Nothing. You won nothing.”
I shrugged. “I’ve learned to take my victories where I can find them.” I glanced at Amy out of the corner of my eye. “Which is everywhere, in case that wasn’t clear.”
“You don’t win everywhere.”
“Really?” I asked. “Can you name a time I didn’t win?”
Amy opened her mouth, before closing it and opening it again. While she was working her mind around that little bomb, I turned to look back at the young man working on the sign.
He had a vaguely dazed expression on his face, which seemed dangerous, considering he was standing on a ladder and all of that.
I’m sure he could handle it. He looked like an adventurer.
But just think about the poor ladder!
“Is that what we look like…” he murmured.
I tilted my head. “Like what?”
He actually did start to tilt for a second, upper body swaying one way while the ladder leaned in the other, wooden frame creaking ominously.
I blinked. “Hmm.”
Then he snapped back upright, pulling the ladder back into position with a huff. “Ahahaha!” He rubbed the back of his neck, desperately looking like he wanted to think about something very different than whatever he had been thinking about while he was thinking about it.
“I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?” He asked. “Oh, my name’s Cerik. Nice to meet you.”
I was torn between vaguely relieved and vaguely disappointed.
I covered both emotions with a sharp nod. “I’m Taylor. This is Amy.”
“I can introduce myself, you utter mongoloid.”
“Amy that’s racist,” I said.
Her head snapped around. “What?”
“Don’t you even know the etymology of the words you use?” I shook my head. “For shame.”
She boggled. “How do you know?”
Because Theo told me that the word ‘mongoloid’ made him uncomfortable, but we didn’t need to talk about how Kaiser’s literal son found my language racially insensitive, okay?
“Because I went to school instead of prison, obviously,” I said. “Your mother would be ashamed of you.”
“My mother is dead!”
My smile was a savage thing to behold.
Amy reared back the moment she realized her mistake.
“Oh really?” I asked. “Amy how horrible.”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“Really? Are you really sorry?” I leaned forward. “Are you sure you didn’t want to talk about our dead mothers?”
“Yes! God, you don’t have to bring it up. I’m sorry!”
I looked at her a moment longer, before nodding. “That’s better.”
We’d already had this particular fight on the way back to the city, of course. I’d destroyed her the first time, as well.
“Anyway.” I turned back to Cerik. “Now that I’m done winning, my friend and I are here to buy some armor. But it looks like you guys aren’t exactly open…”
Cerik’s face was utterly blank, eyes staring off into the distance. I glanced behind me; had something exploded on the main street?
“Yes,” he said after a second. “Unfortunately, we’re closed today. But we’ll be open again tomorrow, so please keep us in mind. Aldebrant Armaments offers only the highest quality.”
I shrugged. “We’ll see.”
Cerik nodded absently, turning back to the sign. “They can never meet,” he muttered darkly.
I blinked. “Who can never meet?”
He looked at me, eyes deep in shadow. “Don’t worry about it.” He turned the screw on the sign with a certain vengeance, and the lintel gave a squeal of protest. “It’s better that she doesn’t mess up the next generation of adventurers.”
I frowned. Next generation? This guy was younger than I was, and he was looking down on me? I bet he hadn’t even averted a single apocalypse yet and he was acting like I was the inexperienced one?
Amy’s hand came down on my shoulder.
I looked over.
She gave me an unimpressed look. “Bad Taylor.”
I flinched back. “W-what?”
“Your Warlord is showing.” Amy shook her head. “I thought you were better than that, Taylor.”
I drew myself up straight. “I have no idea what you’re talking about?”
“If you had any bugs they’d be buzzing.”
I felt my cheeks flush slightly as I looked away. “Anyway! If this shop is closed, we should probably at least look around, compare prices.” I turned back at Cerik. “Thanks for letting us know.”
He gave a nod, hopping down from the ladder and brushing off his pants. “It’s a good idea.” His smile this time seemed a little more genuine. “But I guarantee that we have the best quality at the best prices.”
“Going for the soft sell, huh?”
Cerik laughed at Amy’s words. A laugh that abruptly died when there was a flash of purple next to him.
An incredibly detailed circle of light appeared in the air, shimmering brightly as a person popped into existence.
I blinked. Was that the mage girl from yesterday? The one who wanted to hire us?
I wondered if her quest went well.
“Cerik!” Malori said. “There you are, I was looking for you everywhere!”
Cerik sighed, busying himself with the ladder. “Malori.”
She frowned slightly at his treatment, and Amy and I shared a glance as she seemed to gather herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Yeah, so?” Cerik glanced over his shoulder. “You’re always sorry after one of your schemes crashes and burns. It’s never stopped you from dragging me into the next one.”
The girl flinched, hands fisting in the short fabric of her shirt. “I… you’re right.” She looked up, meeting Cerik gaze. “I know I’m troublesome, so I’ve decided to make it up to you!”
He looked over at Malori in surprise. “Huh?”
“I’m going to show you that I’ve changed by setting aside my own… interests for a while and training some new adventurers!”
Well, that certainly seemed like a noble goal but…
“Malori…” Cerik pinched his nose. “How is that supposed to make things up to me.”
“By showing I’m not just some terrible human who abandons her comrades for the sake of her goals.”
To my side, Amy held back a quiet snort, even as Cerik slumped.
“This is about her isn’t it,” he said.
“What?” Malori flinched back, arms coming up defensively. “No! It’s—it’s about bettering myself as a person! That’s why I’m going to be helping some new adventurers so I can show—I mean, for absolutely no personal benefit.”
“That’s great and all,” Cerik said. “But, again, how does that help me?”
Malori paused, eyes going blank for a second as the question caught her off guard. “I was… planning on bringing them to your store for equipment?”
“Malori, it’s my dad’s business,” Cerik said quietly. “I’m an adventurer.”
“I’ll think of something?”
Cerik put his hand on his face.
“I will, I promise!” Malori leaned forward, taking the boy’s other hand. “Cerik I swear, I’ll make it up to you. I…” She looked like she was about to say something and then she swallowed the words. “I’ll show you! I won’t ask you for anything until you agree that we’re even, okay?”
“You’d better.” He waved a hand. “Can we talk later? I promised my dad I’d help set up this new shop.”
“Ah, actually, I was hoping you’d help me find some newbie adventurers to teach…”
Cerik closed his eyes. “You just said you wouldn’t ask me for anything.”
“Hahahahaha! You’re right. I did do that!” Malori turned on her heel. “I’ll figure it out on my—”
She stopped as she saw me and Amy standing there like her little performance was the best thing on TV since grandma’s soaps.
Malori blinked. “Oh, hey! It’s you!”
“Oh hey,” I said. “it’s me.”
Cerik’s neck creaked like a rusted door as he turned to look at the three of us.
Malori grinned. “I was looking for you guys!”
Amy and I looked at each other.
I raised an eyebrow, asking if this was something we really wanted to be involved with.
She shrugged. “You’re the one who deals with these kinds of people.”
I frowned slightly, but she had a pretty valid point that I couldn’t find a good way to dispute.
Imp was a person, after all.
“Hello, Malori,” I said, turning back to the mage. “If you promise not to sacrifice us as fodder for your ultimate goal, I guess we’d be happy to be trained by you.”
Malori’s smile turned brittle. “Can we just forget I said that?”
“It seemed pretty relevant.” Amy crossed her arms. “So how about no.”
The redhead slumped over, arms hanging down. “I guess I deserve that.” She popped back up, looking the two of us over. “Wait.” She pointed at me. “Didn’t you have glasses last time?”
“Oh, yeah.” I tapped my temple. “I just got these replaced.”
Malori blinked.
“So!” I said. “How does this training thing work? Are you a high level adventurer?”
“You should pick someone else to train you.”
“Cerik!” Malori turned and pouted at the boy. “I know you’re mad at me, but that’s just rude.”
He quirked his lip, before holding up his arms. “Sure. I’m gonna get back to work.”
Malori crossed her arms as Cerik walked into the shop, before turning back to Amy and me. “Well, actually… to start with I’m still technically a student at the Adventuring Academy, Cerik is too. But!” She raised a finger. “I’m the same level as most high level adventurers, and I can tell you that I’ve gotten farther in the tower than anyone except for the most elite!” She nodded happily. “So, I can say that I’m a great teacher.”
“Usually, it’s the other way around,” I said.
She stumbled. “Huh?”
“Prodigies don’t make very good teachers, because they never had any trouble learning themselves.”
Amy sighed. “Ignore her. She’s inherently confrontational.”
I frowned. “You’re inherently confrontational.”
Amy waved a hand towards me in silence. I just raised my chin. I didn’t have to take this.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” Amy said. “I would like to know what the plan is. Since you’re apparently some big shot adventurer, are we going to skip all the shit quests and go straight to the tower?”
“Ah, no!” Malori crossed her arms. “Not the tower, the tower’s a bad idea.”
“Huh? Why”
“It’s, uh, way too dangerous!”
I tilted my head. “But I thought you said you were a powerful adventurer.”
“Well, yes…” Malori tugged at the collar of her robe. “But as a mage I don’t have the best protection options, and the tower is really, really tricky. With traps. It would just be a shame if one of you was caught off guard by that and died. Revives are really expensive, you know!”
I tilted my head. “But…”
“No Tower!”
Amy frowned. “But then we’d just be—”
“No! Tower!” Malori pointed a finger at both of us. “There are plenty of quests that don’t involve the Tower, especially when it comes to the development of essential skills!”
“When do we even go to the tower then, oh mighty mage?” I asked. I was growing more sceptical of her teaching abilities by the second.
She stopped. “Uh that’s!” Malori’s eyes flicked back and forth rapidly. “When you get your first perk point! Perks are vital for taking on the tower.”
I frowned to myself. I’d already got a perk thanks to my Demigod class, but normally it took much longer. Still, waiting for perks probably wasn’t a bad idea persei. I guess we could stick around with her for one quest, if nothing else.
“What level is that?” Amy asked.
“Twenty! No tower before twenty!”
Four’s a Party
Worm/Mage and Demon Queen
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note from the editor:
Comments
Matt.Silver
Knowledge domain: *ping* Taylor: Why did the image of Cerik drawing Lamias in stockings appear in my head? Cerik: *spittakes*
Scott Carlson
"Name a time I didnt win" Dayum ok you're going to hit her with that one?
V01D
I don’t get it.
Emdee Kay
I chortled at the dig towards "Gospel of the Lost Gods"
V01D
https://youtu.be/3FZtnEklhCs Relevant to the title. EDIT: I read the title as TWEWY... XP
Big Iron
Excellent... Gimme more
Jeffrey Gassenheimer
You've posted the last two chapters at 2 in the morning, don't forget to get some sleep my dude :P
