AliceFraser
patreon
Talking to People
🕑 Added 2020-08-06 03:16:45 +0000 UTC
I just ate a plant protein bar with 'added probiotics'. It was truly disgusting, even for a protein bar. It had weird spices in it, and it shouldn't have been trying to be sweet.
Its absolute disgustingness reminded me by opposition of the incredible hazelnut chocolate birthday cakes my jewish Granny used to make for me and my twin's childhood birthdays. These absolute SLABS of cake had about an A3 size footprint, were three quarters of the length of a butter knife deep and weighed enough that they'd make a folding party picnic table bend in the middle. She boasted that she made them with eighteen eggs and no flour - just hazelnut meal. And once a year she'd make them for us for our birthday party. Sometimes, one whole cake for each twin. She'd coat them in about half a finger's depth of whipped cream and decorate them with little scenes or dioramas. Our birthday is 7 Jan, and no matter how many children, cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbours or hungry looking passers by there were, we would always have enough left over to eat that cake for breakfast until the end of the month. (If you scraped off the whipped cream, the cake lasted forever.)
As we got older, and birthdays became less about the cake and more about whatever it is that birthdays are meant to be about (the inexorable passage of time?), I realised I don't particularly love parties in general. I don't like inviting lots of people I enjoy to a single location and then not having the proper time to spend with them. Also, friends from different sectors of my life would be there, and clump up in little cliquey corners, not loving each other the way I loved them all.
Now for birthdays I tend to do a kind of loose open hours situation for my 'parties'. Which is to say, I'll tell everyone that I'd be in a particular park or teashop all day, and people trickle in, coming and going in a manageable flow. So it's more like drinking from a tap, and less like putting your mouth over a hose. Four or five people at a go makes for much better conversations, and a much better time had by all (or by me, and it's my party so I can have it the way I want).
I loved the alchemy of that flow, too - with people I knew from running showing up at a tea shop at the same time as a cousin, or a law school buddy, and being able to properly introduce them and show them off to one another.
So, what has this got to do with anything? WELL! I've been doing a bunch of Patreon zoom calls or message sessions (for the shy) with some of you lovely subscribers at the fancier tea levels of this odd but delightful platform. It's been so much fun and so positive that I'm edging towards running out of 'slots', (I maybe overestimated how many half hours there are in a day).
One of the things I've also noticed is that a chunk of people who want to support are also shy. Which is funny to me, because I don't think of myself as particularly intimidating, and I'm always happy to chat on messenger or just audio. I'm not very scary. BUT, I want to solve that problem, too.
So, I have been thinking of solutions. One option that's pulling me is to have little Tea 'Salons' - via video chat (and then maybe also spilling over into real life when that becomes an option again). I'd arrange to have a slot or two each week, rotating through different timezones, and make them into something approximating one of those little tea shop things I used to do (and one day will do again). A small group chat over tea, with a mix of you beautiful and interesting types, dictated by serendipity and availability.
Is this a really dumb idea? Would you be up for it? Should i experiment? DO let me know, because it's seized my mind as something that could be really lovely, but I might just be in dreamland. Open to all thoughts and suggestions, either in the comments section below or if you prefer to message me privately on here, that's also cool.
xx
A
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Comments
Of course
Sounds interesting! Would the one on one still be an option?
The Salon sounds like a lovely idea.
That would be lovely! But please don't do multiple timezone thingies - you'll knacker yourself out and sure what's the fun in that?
Amazing photo and I’d love to join a Tea Salon! I don’t know if I think you’re intimidating or not, and doubt friends would call me shy.. however I have been putting off and putting off booking in a 1 on 1 chat.. “I don’t have anything interesting to say or ask!” (not true.. I do!... but I’m not sure??) Suffice to say, I think I would love a small group chat/come-and-go salon-style virtual situation 😊
I was thinking same geographical area, but a topic thematic area might be cool too!
Meagan
I like the idea of a tea salon! It would be nice to virtually mingle with fello fans, especially in this time where mingling with is difficult.
Meagan
Same area or around a similar theme?
I have always wanted to do all day serial drop in birthday but I haven't been able to line things up enough and usually end up spreading events over about a week! I think virtual tea rooms sound like fun, but for me I would get something totally different out of it, so ideally I would do both, but I was only allowed one type on my tier I would pick 1 on 1. I guess you could do a limited tier with the max 1 on 1s per month being what fits with your schedule and then an open tier with tea rooms? In my experience of virtual group chatting if you everyone to sort of be free to speak then probably max 6 people. Otherwise might need to take turns in organised way. I also have found it good to have the chat still open, which sometimes means than have two conversations at once like a real life table could, or at the very least gives people who don't like to interrupt a way of joining in quietly!
Love this idea. I did a similar thing for my 30th birthday and was worried the lack of 'party' might make it feel a bit second rate. Instead I shared your joy in the better conversations and "alchemy of that flow". I also feel I would be more likely to join a group online. I don't think it is purely around shyness - an I certainly think you are more open, friendly and generous than intimidating - but perhaps has more to do with placing much more value on your time than anything I may be able to offer in taking it.
This seems like an excellent idea! It might even be fun to coordinate tea rooms with other people who are from around the same area.
That photo is magical!! And the story had me reminiscing about my own grandma, thank you :)
Amir
Personally I guess I'm a different form of shy? Because I find it a lot harder and scarier to express myself in a group of strangers than 1-1.
