aardvarkia
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An apology, and an update
🕑 Added 2024-12-22 04:04:56 +0000 UTCMy friends!
It is no secret that I have been dealing with a bad bout of writer's block - you only have to look through the recent post history here to see it! As frustrating as it has been to me, I know it has also been frustrating to you. I'm genuinely humbled by the fact that my subscriber numbers haven't dropped at all despite a dearth of stories as of late - you believe in me, and I do not take that for granted.
I've done a lot of reflecting as to why I've locked up so severely. Part of it, of course, is just the reality of life. My job got incredibly stressful over the last few months, so my headspace was altered, and I had less time to myself. Despite being surrounded by friends and colleagues so much of the time, I grappled with loneliness. Erotica didn't feel like the escape I wanted it to be. That's probably why I haven't updated my Tumblr with old stories either. I've been neglecting my Aardvark side, and I'm not proud of that.
But there was another problem staring me in the face: I was using up a lot of my creative energy to generate TF sequences for my own enjoyment. When I'd write stories with images, my words felt tethered to the pictures instead of the other way around. So, I've cancelled my MidJourney subscription. I enjoy it, but the distraction it creates, combined with my ethical hesitations around AI in general, doesn't make it worth my while. I have a ton of images to go off of if I get the itch to include them, but it's time to get back to basics and do what I know I do best, which is write.
There's also the question of my own bodybuilding. I've started with a new coach that I love and am making big strides, but with the chaos of the holidays, I've not been able to fully dedicate myself. So my plan in January is to live like a monk, go to work, go to the gym, and write write write. I want to be a bodybuilder - a real one - and I'm not getting any younger. I'm confident that applying my energies back to my passions, and eliminating distractions, will result in more quality stories that I can't wait to share.
And there is more good news: I am writing, and I'm done with work for the year. Slowly but surely...
As mentioned in previous posts, a change in Patreon's rules means I'll have to change the structure of this Patreon in the coming months. But hopefully before then, I can get you a story or two and rev up the engines on 2025.
In the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and thank you thank you thank you.
-A
Comments
DiscoWizard
You do what you have to do to get back in mental shape. It's been a rough couple of months for many of us, so mental health comes first! Loads of hugs to you!
David J. Brick
Holiday chaos is nor conducive to writing. Take all the time you need to focus.
