Yggdrasil_Loki
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Chapter 86: Meeting the Team!
🕑 Added 2024-04-09 22:44:03 +0000 UTC"Special circumstances," the second one said.
Harry grinned. "Glad I could be an inconvenience." He glanced over the edge of the building. "I assume it goes straight up, seeing as there isn't a runway." He held out a hand. "Wait! Don't tell me! I want it to be a surprise."
With that, he climbed abroad. Slightly to Harry's disappointment, the plane went straight upwards instead of driving forward and plunging towards the ground in a ball of fiery death and twisted metal. It rose for a few seconds before suddenly jolting and thrusting forward.
Harry leaned back into the seat and wondered if it would be a good idea to put his seatbelt on. He decided not to—it would be difficult to get changed whilst strapped to a chair.
"Hello, Agent Coulson! This giant floating aircraft carrier is the eleventh coolest thing I've ever seen. "
Coulson glanced over Harry's clothes and smiled. "And the tenth?"
"Well, you know what happens when you dump a ton of caesium into water? Well, imagine that inside someone's veins." Harry grinned. "By the way, you can call me Zeus."
Coulson paused. "Zeus."
"Yes, that's what I said. I'm a big fan of the way that he turned into a variety of animals to trick or force both males and females into sex."
"I…" Coulson trailed off, lost for words. "Come and meet the rest of the team."
"Of course!"
Harry strolled after Coulson. They moved through a few corridors until they reached a door. Coulson opened it to reveal a room with four people inside, three men and a woman.
They looked to the door as it opened. "Hello," Harry said. "I'm Zeus, and I'll be leading the team."
"No you won't," Coulson said.
Harry spun to face him. "Why not?"
"You're a criminal who doesn't appear to be mentally sound."
Harry blinked. "I'll have you know that my imaginary friend says that I'm entirely sane."
'No, I don't.'
"Okay, maybe he doesn't. I'll just sit down and pretend I'm not hurt, then."
Harry wandered over to a vacant seat and sat down. "Hi, guys, I'm Zeus and I apparently won't be leading the team." He glanced over them and focused on the woman. "I know you—I never forget a pretty face, except when I do. You're the one who attempted to seduce me and failed when I smashed your face into a table. I'm glad to see that your face wasn't ruined too badly."
Natalia, or whatever her name was, raised an eyebrow. "Thanks."
Harry looked at another one of the men, his face breaking into a grin. "You're Tony Stark! I'm a massive fan of your explosives—they're not powerful enough to kill me, and yet perfectly effective at blowing up other orphans."
Tony glanced at Coulson and then back to Harry. "Thanks, I guess. Why are you wearing a crown?"
"Oh, it's a key part of my superhero costume and my role as Zeus, king of the gods. I'm also a prince of Nigeria."
"A prince of Nigeria... I don't suppose you need a few billion dollars of my money to retrieve your own money which you're then going to give me a share of?"
"No, no, of course not. This isn't my Nigerian crown—it's the one I stole from the Tower of London."
For a moment, Tony's jaw hung. "You're the one who stole the Crown Jewels?"
Harry frowned. "I borrowed them. I put them all except the crown back when I found out how bloody hard that they are to sell on the black market without constantly wandering into MI6 traps."
Tony laughed. "Where do you get the rest of your outfits?"
"Well, I was going to steal an Iron Man suit from you, but when I tried it on, it made me look fat, so I bought this purple cape. It supposedly belonged to Emperor Caligula of Rome—he's my favourite leader, after Hitler—but was magically preserved." He frowned. "I'm not entirely sure if I believe that, but it still looks cool, so…"
"Hold up," said Tony. "You said you stole one of my suits."
"Weren't you listening? I only tried it on. Actually, that might've been in a dream."
"In a dream…"
"I dream about weird stuff, okay?" Harry glanced at the other two men. "By the way, I have no idea who either of you are."
"Captain America and the Hulk," said Tony.
Harry nodded. "Ah, Captain America's the one who wears the Puerto Rican flag on his chest, right? And Hulk is the green guy who excels at breaking things?"
Tony looked at Coulson. "Where did you find this guy? I like him."
"Thanks, Iron Man. I like me, too."
"Anyway," said Coulson. "On to the reason why we are here. An alien threat has arrived on Earth. They are from Asgard—the same place Thor was from, assuming you have read the files. The threat has killed eighty people in the last day and—"
"Eighty?" Harry interrupted. "That's horrific... How does an Asgardian only manage to kill eighty people? I could kill eighty people with a well-placed pipe bomb! This guy clearly has no experience leading terror campaigns. Does that count as a clue as to who this might be?"
Everyone stared at Harry.
He stared back. "Just to be clear, I also don't have any experience leading terror campaigns." He paused. "Well, there was that one time in Peru… Okay, I don't have much experience leading terror campaigns."
"We don't need any clues; the threat announced his name."
"Well, that's just boring."
"The threat proclaimed himself as Loki of Asgard."
Harry's jaw dropped. 'Loki, what have you been doing behind my back?'
For a moment, Loki was silent. 'It…could it be an imposter?'
"So," Harry began. "What did this Loki look like?"
Coulson picked up a remote control and clicked a button, turning on a screen in the room's corner to reveal what was undoubtedly Loki's face, attached to a body Loki's height, wearing Loki's armour. The video began to play, its subject walking and talking exactly like Loki as he slaughtered the humans.
'Yes,' Loki said. 'That is me.'
'But you're not aware of it?'
'No. Long ago, I theorised that because I was only a part of my own mind when I came to you, perhaps some other parts survived.'
'So this is the real you?'
