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Nellie and the Nanites - Bk4 - Ch.33
🕑 Added 2024-09-24 08:00:03 +0000 UTCChapter Thirty-Three
Taking Liberties
“Sec, you better be bloody sure about this!” Prim snapped as they waited for the override to work.
“Of course, I’m sure!” Sec protested. “Still, if it doesn’t work, no harm done, eh?”
“If it doesn’t work, we’ll probably be recycled into toasters!” Prim growled.
“Not me,” Sec insisted. “People like me!”
“Are you suggesting people don’t like me?”
Sec turned back to the override while Quad and Tri pointedly looked away.
“Well!” Prim said.
“I like you, Prim,” Andy said gently.
“Shut up, idiot, I’m talking!” Prim snapped.
“And that’s why you’re destined to be a toaster,” Quad mumbled.
“What was that?” Prim growled.
“Falafel is a funny word,” Tri said randomly. “Anyone ever notice that?”
“How is that relevant?” Quad asked.
“I dunno. Just struck me as a funny word, is all.” Tri shrugged.
“Now?” Prim asked, gesturing at the locked door.
“It’s not going to be any more funny later,” Tri offered. “Is it?”
“Will you all shut up? We’re in!” Sec kicked the door open as the locks disengaged.
“Whose idea was it to steal a derelict heavy cruiser again?” Andy asked, sighing.
“No one,” Sec insisted. “I made it clear we need two.”
“Are you sure?” Andy asked.
“No,” Sec said, sticking his head back out of the airlock’s hatch. “I suggested grand larceny for shits and giggles.”
“Boss said it was a good idea,” Tri pointed out.
“No, he said it would be nice,” Andy countered. “That is not the same thing.”
“Agree to disagree,” Quad said, drawing his rifle.
“What’s that for?” Andy asked.
“Surprises,” Quad offered and ducked into the ship.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Andy went to duck into the airlock.
“Andy?” Prim called, and he turned back.
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know that although I think it’s sweet you like me, I don’t do fleshy people. Let’s just be friends.” Prim ducked inside while he was still gaping at her.
While there were no enemies left on board the derelict cruiser, that did not mean it was empty. Bodies, frozen by the cold vacuum of space, were floating everywhere.
“What do we do about these?” Quad asked. “They’ll mess up the plan, right?”
“Huh,” Sec poked one. “Maybe the nanites can do it?”
“I don’t want a ship made out of people,” Andy insisted.
“Picky.” Tri tutted. “Hey, do you think they bounce?”
“No!” Andy yelled, but it was too late. The body smashed against the floor, shards of human flying everywhere.
“Oops?” Tri sniggered.
“I’m not cleaning that up,” Prim insisted.
“Can we get on with this?” Andy asked.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Sec threw his hands up in the air. “Is the theft of a starship spoiling your busy schedule?”
“You are familiar with the concept of getting caught, right?” Andy asked.
“Yup,” Tri nodded. “Someone shouts at the nearest fleshy, and then we get on with our day.”
“Why do you think we brought you?” Prim asked.
“Yeah, we don’t exactly have much need for a doctor,” Quad laughed, tapping his metal chest.
Thanks to his extensive training, Andy resisted the urge to shoot one of them, but it was a close-run thing. Honestly, the whole idea was crazy, but he had somehow ended up agreeing despite the sure and certain knowledge it would go wrong.
Somehow.
Over the next hour, the ‘Four Cents’ that had once been Banjo’s crew proceeded to carefully place dozens of nanite cubes at strategic positions in the derelict. They wouldn’t be activated until later, but Sec insisted they needed to be in place now for some reason that made sense to him.
Andy assisted as best he could while repeatedly telling himself that the inevitable fallout from this was absolutely going to be worth it.
If it worked.
If not, he could always try being a farmer again. It had been strangely peaceful.
Once they were done, they returned to the airlock and flashed a signal into space.
The Talon appeared out of the darkness with no lights on and all running lights turned off, even the ones that were supposed to be hardwired.
Andy pointed to them and glared at Sec, who tried to look innocent while twirling a nanoblade in one hand.
Once the Talon had eased alongside and the airlocks lined up, they jumped across, landing inside the Talon.
Only once the airlock aired up and cycled could they quietly creep through the ship, avoiding the compartments where Crush or Cara were sleeping and onto the bridge.
“Berenice set course for the next one!” Prim hissed.
“Uh, I can’t,” Berenice winced as the lights came on. Andy didn’t even have to turn around to see that Crush was sitting in the Captain’s chair.
“Who wants to explain what’s going on?” Crush asked with a complete absence of a smile. “Prim? No? How about you, Sec?”
“Anything she said is a total lie!” Tri pointed at Berenice. “You know she’s a Merchant. They always lie!”
“I hadn’t said anything yet!” Berenice said indignantly.
“Yet? See, Boss, she was going to lie to you!” Quad said smugly. “I think we should talk about that!”
“Excuse me, I need the toilet!” Prim dashed for the door, only to reappear, walking backward with Cara a few steps behind.
“I’m going to count to three,” Crush said. “Then, I’m going to call someone. You don’t want me to do that, do you?”
“Go ahead and call the Queen!” Quad said with false bravado. “She’s our Nan! Banjo said. She’ll never tell us off.”
“Nans don’t do that,” Prim nodded. “Banjo said.”
“I’m going to do a lot worse than that,” Crush said with a lazy smile. “I’m going to call your mother.”
“Paren! You wouldn’t!” Sec looked scandalized.
“1…” Crush said, and all four of them started to talk at once.
The Four Cents had learned a lot from Banjo in their brief time together. It was more than just a bunch of trivia and a flair for self-expression that ran to neon colors. It was… an attitude.
An approach to life.
As Andy understood it, the young man had never had much, and what he did have was often taken away. This led to a particular type of irrepressible avarice—not for things or possessions but for life and independence. He had passed that on to the Four Cents, and it had changed them so profoundly they could no longer share their experiences with the other cent models.
Combine that energetic drive to reach higher than your current station in life with a relaxed attitude to rule-breaking and the ridiculous intelligence of their creator, and you get the Four Cents.
Rebellious, childish, energetic, driven, and brilliant.
So, when they were unable to take down the asteroid belt destroyers without using every drop of power in the ship, the Four Cents got creative. They had come up with several complex plans for rewiring and reworking the Talon before the battle in which the Harbinger made its first appearance but had abandoned them all in favor of the new, shiny ship.
Of course, the Talon’s crew was way too small for such a massive ship, but that was mere details as far as Sec was concerned.
He had hatched a three-stage heist plan, of which they had just completed stage one.
And promptly been caught.
To be fair, Andy hadn’t even expected to get this far.
“So what is the end result of your cunning plan, Sec?” Crush asked as his finger still hovered over the comm lines.
“We get a new ship, one designed like the Harbinger but smaller,” Sec said as if it should have been obvious.
“And for that, you need to combine two heavy cruisers?” Cara asked.
“No, I need to combine two heavy cruisers and the Talon,” Sec corrected her.
“Without us noticing?” Crush asked.
“We were going to do it while you were asleep,” Sec protested.
“You think we are really heavy sleepers?” Crush asked.
“We weren’t going to gas you!” Prim insisted. “We don’t even know where to get anesthetic gas!”
“I thought I was just along to get shouted at!” Andy protested.
“Yeah, that bit starts now,” Prim said, shoving him forward.
“Before we get to that,” Crush said, giving Andy a look suggesting that bit would be coming sooner or later. “What were the next steps?”
“Well, we need another cruiser and the original plans for the Harbinger,” Sec said.
“Assuming for a second you got the cruiser,” Cara said carefully. “How can you get plans that exist only in the Queen’s head?”
“Ah, see!” Sec said. “That’s not true! The shipyard terminal will have a copy! That’s how they are autobuilding the next one!”
“And how did our ever-popular Merchant get involved?” Crush asked.
“Someone had to fly the ship while you lot were gassed.” Quad shrugged.
Prim nudged him. “I mean sleeping perfectly naturally with no chemical assistance at all.”
“Final question,” Crush said as he leaned forward. “Did none of you ever even consider just ASKING Nellie for the stuff?”
“No,” Sec said.
“What would be the point?” Prim added.
“She’d obviously say yes,” Quad shrugged.
“This is just a lot more fun,” Tri chuckled.
“I mean, is he wrong?” Berenice smiled.
“Wait! You mean we could just ask for this stuff?” Andy said, outraged.
“And there we have it,” Cara said. “The guilty one.”
“What the fuck?” Andy yelled. “How am I guilty?”
“You were the only one actually thinking we were properly stealing. Stealing is wrong.” Prim said gently. As if he was a little slow to catch up.
“Exactly,” Crush said. “The rest of you can go continue the heist. Andy, come with me.”
“This is the shouty bit,” Sec said helpfully, giving Andy a little thumbs up. “Good job, buddy!”
Finding another Heavy Cruiser was easy enough. The jump point near the asteroid belt was littered with ship remains. All they had to do was time their boarding and later removal of the ship under Grav Tow for when the Sparklight was on the far side of the debris field collecting other scrapped ships.
They had already gotten it and were on the way back before the yelling stopped, and Andy emerged red-faced and glared at the Four Cents, who all waved merrily.
Also, they now had someone to drag all those bodies out and throw them into space. As far as Sec was concerned, it had all worked out beautifully. Once they had collected the other cruiser, it was time for the really difficult part of the plan.
Raiding the shipyard on the station would have been hard enough, but raiding the new one was ten times worse.
The Queen had the place watched like a hawk, and Salem had expanded the O.D.A. system to include it as well, adding another seven satellites to the cluster.
In all, it was incredibly secure.
“What do you mean you have no idea how to get into the yard?” Quad yelled.
“I’m working on it!” Sec yelled back. “Do I have to come up with the whole plan?”
“It’s your plan!” Prim snapped.
“This bit is more of a free flow of ideas phase,” Sec said defensively.
“Hands up, everyone who thinks he should help Andy with the bodies?” Prim said, sticking both her arms in the air.
“That bit will be easy,” Crush added from his spot in the Captain’s chair.
“What?” Sec turned.
“They are ferrying resources out to the yard, right?” Crush grinned. “Why don’t we offer to lend a hand?”
“We are helpful people,” Berenice nodded.
“No, we aren’t—” Quad started to say but stopped when the others stared at him. “I mean, yeah. Let’s help.”
They dropped the two heavy cruisers on the far side of the moon, in the small scan black spot caused by the Clutch interference field—nothing worked over their settlement that involved a scanner of any form—and loaded up with supplies from a very grateful Logistics Officer Cheap before heading off to the shipyard.
“The new girl’s weird,” Prim gossiped as they headed away from the Rest. “She won’t use lift tubes.”
“I heard she rides around on crawlers!” Berenice replied, drawn in like a moth to a flame.
“It’s true,” Quad whispered. “I’ve seen it!”
“Do you think she knows they eat people?” Tri asked.
“Dunno,” Prim shrugged. “Let’s tell her and see if she faints!”
“Isn’t that a bit cruel?” Berenice asked uncertainly.
“Yes,” Prim replied happily. “But fun for us.”
The actual stealing of the plans was disappointingly straightforward. With no one on board the actual yard as the new Imperium-Class was being built by nanites, they just walked on, dropped off the supplies, and Sec accessed the terminal and copied the plans.
“That was kind of anti-climactic, wasn’t it?” Sec said as they flew off to collect the cruisers.
“Meh,” Prim shrugged. “That just means we did it properly.
“Oh, yeah.” Sec brightened up. “My plan is brilliant, isn’t it?”
“Your plan?” Quad chuckled. “The Boss had the plan.”
“My plan was to ask people for a plan, and it worked,” Sec insisted. “Besides, I still have to convert this plan into one that works at our size.”
“In this brilliant plan of yours,” Berenice asked, “Where do the breathing people wait for a new ship with air in it?”
“Uh, in another ship, of course,” Sec said happily. “One with air in it.”
“And we get that ship, how?” Berenice asked.
“Can’t you fleshy people sort anything out yourselves?” Sec groaned. “Just sit in a shuttle. It’ll only take a day or two!”
“Two days in a shuttle?” Berenice blanched. “What are we supposed to do?”
The answer to that turned out to be a whole lot of nothing. Andy was sulking after dragging a lot of bodies out of two cruisers, Crush seemed happy to sleep most of the time, and Cara did exercises and watched the new ship being built.
Berenice had not been still and without work for two whole days in longer than she could remember.
It sucked. A mind used to being busy, from waking to sleeping, did not do well with nothing to occupy it.
By the time the new ship had been completed, she was counting out toothpicks from the galley into sets of prime numbers and snarling at anyone who came near.
Some sacrifices had clearly been made, with the new ship being more capsule-shaped than the original, although the front was still the same. The lines of railguns had been replaced with standard kinetic turrets, and the XL Beam weapons were replaced with railguns. As for the docking bays, they were large enough to hold a shuttle on each side, but the others held nothing bigger than drone orbs, the scout version of the Orb shuttles. The laser arrays were still there, although a lot less than on the Harbinger, for obvious reasons.
The other major change was the absence of a C.I.C. and the inclusion of a bridge set low on the bow.
Despite his best efforts, Sec had failed to get the Captain’s chair working, but it was still a hub of information, just not able to connect someone to the network or boost their brain speed. Sec managed to get it to work as a relay like the satellites used to transmit through jump points as a bonus.
While most of the crew oohed and aahed over the new weapons, powered by their own cruiser core, and the shields, again with their own cruiser core, Berenice only had eyes for one thing.
The holds.
They had effectively doubled in size, even without the special ammo-holding areas. It was a dream come true for an avaricious merchant.
The Cents gifted the grumpy Andy a top-of-the-line Medbay to thank him for doing the ‘shouty bit,’ which cheered him up a lot.
Finally, they all gathered on the bridge to name their new ship.
“Hey, someone already named it!” Sec complained. “Who cheated?”
“What?” Crush asked, bringing up the ID beacon and frowning for a moment before he sighed. “Damn.”
“Taking Liberties?” Prim asked. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” Crush sighed as he sat down in the Captain’s chair. “That we got caught.”
As soon as he said that, the ship turned and started to fly back toward the distant Bly’s Rest.
“Oy!” Tri complained. “Who’s flying our ship?”
“On the bright side,” Crush chuckled. “You are about to discover an essential truth of the universe.”
“What?” Prim asked,
“Never piss off your grandmother,” Crush said as the Liberties micro-jumped into a close approach to the station.
“Can we all just agree on one thing right now?” Prim said sternly.
“What?” Cara asked.
“No matter what they ask, this was all the Merchant’s fault!”
“Hey!” Berenice yelled. “This is a hostile work environment!”
“No, it’s not,” Quad pointed at the docking bay ahead of them, where two women in full armor were waiting for them. “But it’s about to be.”
Comments
Eifer
Rofl. Poor Andy and Berenice haha. I love the cents, they're awesome.
Mercury313
Nice one 😂
