Electra Rose
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Great Lakes & Expectations chp 40 Draft
🕑 Added 2020-02-23 13:29:53 +0000 UTCShe waited until they were safely back in the diplomatic housing to beckon Kakashi past the door.
“So, why do they hate you so much, and should we leave?” She asked. “I now assume this is why you’ve been acting so weird since we came here.”
He gaped at her. His jaw opened and shut, and then he seemed to struggle it down.
“Saaa, you don’t know?” He was attempting to affect nonchalance again. It was getting really old.
‘And they’re probably still watching us.’
“No, regrettably.” She sighed. It would have been a good time for him to know any English.
“My father, like your father, had a reputation.” He said quietly, looking out at the jounin hovering by the gate. “People here do not like him.”
“Oh good, because I was worried you had done something.” She sighed with relief.
She couldn’t see it, but he was definitely making a face.
“What? That’s a good thing. They don’t hate you in specific.” Regina rubbed at her temples. “Why did no one tell me?”
He stepped forward, and when she looked up she realized he seemed to be obscuring her from the vision of their observers.
“I don’t know. Can you fix it?” Kakashi asked, in a tone that implied that they were discussing the best possible places for lunch and not a massive diplomatic faux pas.
Regina thought about it. “Honestly, they probably think it was very aggressive. We have to decide how we want to approach it instead. We could claim that you’re one of the shinobi I know and make it about my personal preference, or admit that there was a lack of information. Admitting that as far as you and I are aware it was a huge mistake would look pretty bad- but might be better than us wanting to scare them.”
“Neither of those options sound good for Konohagakure.” Kakashi mused. “We could just try to keep our heads down.”
“We’re doing that anyway.” Regina said. “I wish I’d known- at least we could have put you in an ANBU uniform and mask and pretended it wasn’t you, for diplomatic and rhetorical convenience.”
‘Honestly, I’m really torqued that no one told me he’d be an issue with Konoha’s closest ally. That’s huge.’
She massaged out the tic that was developing in her eye. “I think the Kazekage was at least not livid when he left.” Regina leaned back against the wall, slowly.
Kakashi sighed. “It seems that way. He did agree.”
“So we proceed, then.” Regina sighed. “Not acknowledging it at all would allow them to construct whatever reason they feel comfortable with, without an official statement from Konoha. If they won’t press the issue and we aren’t aggressive, it might balance out ok.”
‘Fuck, though. He is the only Hokage candidate Konoha has on hand. They responded fairly well, given that bit of family history. It might be good for Kakashi’s reputation if we can get out of this decently.’
She was chewing on her lip- Kakashi waved a hand in front of her face.
“Stop doing that, I’m thinking.” She grumbled. “This is all very complicated- we may or may not have made a mistake that will get people killed.”
He grunted. “I know.”
“So… damage control.” She mused out loud, and walked back to her bedroom. He followed. “We need to find out how angry they are or aren’t- and if they are, to take measures to make them more comfortable with our alliance again.”
‘How do I do that, though?’ Her head was starting to hurt.
“Don’t you have another state dinner tonight?” Kakashi asked blandly. “It seems like a lot of personal issues can be aired there.”
“Yes, that is the proper venue.” Regina opened her trunk and pulled out kimono.
“But it’s not that easy, either.” She looked at the first one. “Too elaborate. Too red.”
He rolled his eye and slouched down on the ground, next to her futon. “You’re picking out clothes as your responses.”
“Part of my response, yes. And please don’t put your shoes on my bed.” She warned, knowing that she sounded stressed. “I’m… um. Very picky about things like that.”
“Understood.” He kept his shoes a decent distance away from her bedding.
‘What would be a good cultural acknowledgement or concession?’ Regina stalked out to her bag and pulled out her books- there was definitely a book on Wind Country’s history and culture somewhere. She wouldn’t have come here without it.
She found it in the bottom of her bag, as she’d read it before leaving. She skimmed her notes.
‘Okay, we have the rabbit- maybe I can do something with that, the traditional nakaigama pottery in green and black and white...suna no oka or sand dango...hakota ningyo...ahhh yumihagasuri.’
‘I already have the set of kanzashi and the obi I wore earlier today, but I thought there was a kimono layer that I’d had made…’
She went back to her clothing chest and pulled out clothing item after clothing item, trying to find the distinctively-dyed silk. Traditionally, it should have been cotton, but that wouldn’t really work for this level of ceremony.
“Aha!” She exclaimed. “I knew it was in here.”
She heard an affirmative but uninterested grunt from behind. He was definitely just responding to her tone. She hadn’t even used Japanese.
Regina laid out her proposed outfit on her futon, agonizing over choices.
Suddenly, Tsunade’s tedious process made sense.
‘All of this means something.’ She placed her hands on the visible undergarment part of the kimono, in yumihagasuri print. Regina had specifically had it dyed here in the capital city of the Land of Wind- she wondered where the workshop was.
Little white rabbit details in the pattern of her obi paid tribute to Suna’s legend of the white rabbit of Inaba. Her red and black kimono with sage green accents was a visual representation of the Lands of Fire and Wind, and her Oogibira kanzashi with the fire kanji denoted her allegiance to her home country and station. The white chrysanthemum tsumami kanzashi on the top of her hair would denote truth and sincerity.
‘It’s not going to solve all my problems, but at least it has enough cultural significance to strike a positive note.’
She looked over at her shinobi guard, who was obviously wearing his shinobi gear at least two sizes too loose. His jacket was carefully sewn together in the many places he’d evidently been stabbed.
“Kakashi-san?” She asked brightly. “Do you perhaps have a… nicer version of your uniform to wear?”
A nonplussed stare was her answer. He went back to coloring.
“One that doesn’t look like it’s been used.” She tried again.
He huffed at her. “Why would I do that? All of my equipment has been used. It’s for using.”
“How do I send a message to Konoha, right now?” She asked. “That dinner isn’t for six hours.”
He rolled over, closing the book in a fluid motion. “I could run…”
“No, you can’t.” She reminded him. “Unless someone else is here to watch me. Plus, if one of us left, it would look bad.”
“I’ll send Bisuke, then.” He rolled to his feet and ran through some hand signs just outside of her room.
‘Summoning jutsu. Huh. I thought ninken were like a whole different thing.’
There was a poof of smoke, and then a brown dog with beautiful floppy ears and an ugly blue vest appeared on the floor.
“What’s up, boss?” the dog asked, scratching his soft-looking ear with his left hind paw. “Just to let you know, it wasn’t me that ate your pillow. It was Bull. He’s going through some stuff. And your apartment was a mess before you left, so really-”
“Bisuke.” Kakashi’s voice sounded mildly strangled.
Regina pretended to be thoroughly absorbed in examining her nails. She was doing a positively *terrible* job of it.
“Rejina-hime,” Kakashi enunciated, “What do you need to tell the Hokage?”. The dog, who was evidently named bisque by an unkind or hilarious parent, looked at her.
“Thank you, Bisuke-san.”
The dog’s tail thumped on the floor.
‘Oh, I want to pet you so bad. But you’re a working professional.’
She had to amend that thought.
‘I am also a working professional, and I will not pet strange magical dogs in ugly vests without being given explicit permission.’
“I need an unused Jounin uniform, in Kakashi-san’s actual size. No marks, no scuffs. And an ANBU uniform-” She continued to address the dog directly, and pretended not to hear Kakashi cough. “Also unused, in his actual size. A different mask than he used to use. A silver wig in a different cut. Everything, from head to toe, actually fitted and new. Any questions?”
“Nope.” Bisuke said, standing up. “I got it. Go home, get him two significantly less horrible outfits.”
Kakashi made a sound.
Neither her, nor the dog, looked.
“The details are important, do you need a note?” She asked. “Or can you remember?”
“Nah, I got it.” Bisuke walked down the hallway, nails clacking on the stone flooring.
‘At least we won’t be scratching it. I can’t imagine that would endear us to our hosts.’
“Rejina-hime.” Kakashi sounded tired.
“I need you to look professional, but non-threatening.” She finally looked at him and shrugged. “We’re not hiding who you are here- it’s way too late for that. But we need it to look like we considered it and made the effort, that you’re not here to insult anyone.”
Regina paused.
“...And I want the possibility of hiding you in the future, given that this is apparently a thing I need to be concerned about.”
He stared at her. “...Fine.” He leaned down and talked quietly to his dog. There was some petting and ear scratches involved.
Then he walked the dog out to the gate and said something to their minders, who escorted away the dog she couldn’t pet.
‘Goodbye, friend.’
He came back inside, looking grumpier than usual.
“My clothes are fine, by the way.” He asserted. “Perfectly suitable.”
‘Oh no, they’re the most hideous ones I’ve seen by far. Anyone else would have tossed yours by now. You obviously repair them until they’re 99% repairs. They’re not even structurally sound. They make my anxiety brain scream.’
“For your daily job, yes.” She said diplomatically, to her family friend, purely out of kindness and certainly not because he could be a real goblin and she was stuck living with him for almost every second for a month. “Not for state dinners, particularly ones filled with people who have bad impressions of you.”
Regina walked back into her bedroom, because she felt that continuing that conversation would only result in further noise. He was a creature of habit, for sure- he seemed to dislike any changes.
He might even pretend to lose those outfits if she let him. It wasn’t like he seemed to care about authority.
Kakashi grumbled distractingly as she carefully put away everything she wouldn’t need and set out her full outfit for later, and one for the next day.
Then he flopped over, purposefully dangling a foot almost onto her futon, and started coloring in one of the books she’d given him again.
“You really do look like a child right now.” She said sourly.
He didn’t respond.
“Your cat is much nicer than you.” Regina grumbled very quietly as she left the room, hoping he could hear it with his freaky ninja ears. “Maybe I should have asked him to stay and be my bodyguard. I like cats.”
She was halfway through a book on the Land of Lightning and their political history when there was a bark at the door.
Regina looked up- evidently her grumpalicious guard was in the shower.
So she got up and cautiously went to the entrance.
“Please let me in.” She heard a familiar voice grunt. It sounded like their mouth was full. “It smells like snakes out here.”
‘Ew.’
Regina opened the door a centimeter- Bisuke was sitting outside with the handles of a bag between his teeth.
‘I don’t see any snakes. Wait. Did I want to?’
“Are those his clothes?” Regina asked cautiously. She wouldn’t be thrilled if they’d gotten banged up on a tree or something.
She fully opened the door, and Bisuke deposited the bag on the floor.
“No, princess, just your mail. His clothes are sealed up in my pocket.” He displayed his chest. “Sorry, no thumbs.”
She reached in and pulled out one of the Hokage’s nice pieces of stationary with an activated storage seal on top.
“Thank you Bisuke-san.” She paused. “Would you like anything to eat or drink? We have…” she looked around. “I think there’s water and some chicken.”
“Yes, please.” He followed her into the kitchen, and she made a plate.
“On the floor ok?” She asked, setting down the plate.
“Yes- but a bowl for water, please, princess, my tongue isn’t long enough to use glasses.”
Her eyebrow raised.
It seemed that Bisuke was fairly versed in articulating his needs. And not terribly shy.
‘I feel like perhaps it isn’t Kakashi who is in charge in his apartment.’ She struggled to keep the smile off of her face, in case he came out to ascertain the source of her happiness and poo-poo all over it.
Bisuke ate his food and drank his water while she checked her mail- a response from the Sandaime, something from Kumogakure, a few more letters from her father and Tsunade, and a big envelope from the boys.
‘They didn’t even put my name on it. It just says ‘mom princess’.’
That one was going to be cute.
Regina sat down on the tatami and began opening the letters on the table. Bisuke began cracking the chicken leg bones to eat them.
The letter from the Sandaime was probably her first priority. She carefully removed the seal and unrolled the scroll.
A smaller paper floated out and rested in her lap.
‘What the hell.’
She put the scroll down and picked up the paper. The strong and clear handwriting provided much more context.
‘Shishou. But how did he get something like this into Sensei’s mail? And also, why?’
‘In regards to your question, Konohagakure does not have a policy for accepting refugees from failed lands. We take our security very seriously, and cannot chance foreign spies or saboteurs, particularly shinobi from defunct villages. However, I share your concern regarding unfavorable rhetoric regarding shinobi. It is a worthwhile use of your efforts.’
‘He didn’t even sign it,’ she looked at the front and back. ‘What charm school did he attend, exactly?’
She put it down on the table and skimmed the Sandaime’s letter, which was vastly more sympathetic.
‘Hokage-sama might be workable. Technically, I don’t need shishou’s approval for shit.’ She re-rolled it and tucked the little note into the larger scroll. If shishou wanted their association secret, she’d at least put in a minimum effort. He’d been a fairly helpful mentor, though their values were definitely not quite the same.
‘I’ll have to reread that later- I think I know what he meant, at least. But I’ll need to check again.’
Regina cut open the big envelope from her boys, and felt a sudden heart pang as a slew of drawings fell out onto the floor.
“Oh shit!” She dove down, trying to catch little papers in the air. “I didn’t think there would be quite that many.”
She gathered them all up, trying not to wrinkle anything. They were everywhere- some were drawings, there were notes, and even some photographs.
Bisuke walked over, with a couple pieces of cardstock held delicately in between his teeth. He dropped them onto the table.
“Missed a few, princess.” He said, fuzzy head bowing slightly.
“Thank you so much, Bisuke-san.” Regina picked one up. It was one of Naruto’s masterpieces, judging by the riotous colors and interpretivist leanings.
It wasn’t labelled and she couldn’t divine the subject, so she placed it in a new pile. It had a whole lot of heart in it.
Someone had evidently given her little monsters a camera, because there were dozens of pictures- of them, (almost all blurry) maybe that was the front garden… she squinted. One of them was the Hokage, who seemed less than thrilled to be an artistic muse.
She felt… guilty. That was probably the feeling welling up in her gut and threatening to make her cry.
Regina was so far away from them- she’d left them all alone
‘Not alone.’ she reminded herself hastily. ‘With Ikemoto-san, and Yuina-san and her family, Gai… they’re fine.’
It didn’t make her feel better.
‘We sent all of these so you don’t have to miss us.’ Sasuke had written in his letter. ‘We took pictures of everything, so you won’t miss anything while you’re gone. I told Naruto it was okay to draw you pictures instead of write letters, because he gets frustrated. I hope you like them.’
‘He gets frustrated because you hover like a bat and correct his grammar constantly,’ she thought with a wry smile.
She swallowed a bit of acid.
‘I’ve only had them for what? Six months? And I’m leaving them for almost a month. I’m scum.’
She let the letter droop between her fingers.
“What’s all this, princess?” A voice at her shoulder asked. Regina turned.
Oh- Bisuke.
“My sons sent me drawings and pictures.” She replied, and selected one of Sasuke’s attempts at hyper-realism in crayon to show him, along with the birthday tiger that Naruto had evidently decided she needed.
Bisuke looked at them evaluatively for a moment.
“Cute.”
“Very cute.” Regina corrected, feeling mildly defensive about it for some reason.
He blinked and paused. “Yes, you’re right. They’re very, very cute drawings.”
“These are my sons.” Regina grabbed a picture that Ikemoto-san must have taken, for them both to not be moving. “Aren’t they adorable?”
“Yeah, really cute kids.” Bisuke agreed easily. “Kakashi didn’t say you were married.”
“I’m not.” She looked at the dog critically.
He didn’t reply, or even look chastened. “So, I hear you like cats?”
“I do.” She said, “I just find that we get along so well, don’t we?”
“Yep.” He laid down and angled his head so that she could see he was asking permission for head scratches. “We get along great.”
‘Shameless opportunist.’ She obligingly reached her hand out slowly in front of his nose- he sniffed, then leaned his head down.
Directly into her lap.
Regina scratched behind his ears and under his chin for a bit, before closing her eyes.
She was still absentmindedly scratching the ears of what she certainly knew to be a dog (probably a mix of tosa and chin, if he was 100% japanese in breed) when the bathroom door opened and Kakashi stalked out.
The aura of menace increased roughly….100000%.
Regina didn’t open her eyes. He was just going to be grumpy.
He stood over them, radiating grumpiness.
Bisuke shifted, but only to provide a better area of scratching. Evidently this dog needed his chin scratched rather desperately.
Regina continued to oblige.
“Saaaaaaaaaaa.” Kakashi used his faux calm voice, even though he was definitely hovering with ill intent. “Rejina-san, I thought you didn’t like dogs.”
This was evidently news to Bisuke, who huffed.
“What about dogs.” She asked, lazily opening an eye. His face was way too close again, eye less than six inches away. She stared at a patch of fabric.
“Bisuke is a dog.” He shifted to make direct eye contact.
‘Huh. His eyes are gray.’
Regina blinked. He was attempting to make some sort of point.
‘Obviously, he wants me to admit I know what a dog is. But… oddly enough, I don’t feel like conceding that today. I already feel bad about things, he can let me have one thing.’
“Bisuke-san?” She gestured with her hand, removing it from her lap companion.
Bisuke shifted on her lap to turn around and glare at Kakashi.
“It’s rude to invade a lady’s space, Kakashi.” Bisuke said, sounding amused.
Kakashi backed up about three more inches.
“You see?” He gestured at Bisuke. “He’s a dog.”
“What’s the difference?” Regina asked.
His mouth opened. He glared. “He’s obviously a dog.”
Bisuke got up, turned in a circle three times, and poofed out of the room.
‘Dang. He unsummoned himself, probably to ruin more of Kakashi’s pillows. I don’t buy that the other dog did it.’
Regina yawned, and sat up.
“Look what you did.” She said, waving at the room. “You made him uncomfortable, and he left.” Regina resigned herself to finishing her mail.
She slid all of Sasuke and Naruto’s gifts over to the side, and picked up the letter from her father.
Papers slid on the table off to her right. It was quiet.
“Your kids are pretty mediocre artists.” Kakashi said blandly, about five minutes later. She looked up and saw him flipping through the pages. “Tigers aren’t green.”
Despite the fact that she had had that exact thought, Regina felt a protective fire rise up in her gut.
She carefully swiped them out of his hands and put them back on the table.
“What do you know about art?” Regina sniped.
He put up his hands. “Very little, except that tigers aren’t green.” His spidery fingers snatched one of the photos. He brought it up almost to his nose, then showed it to her.
“Which one dyed that tiger?” He pointed. “The short one, or the shorter one?”
“You know their names.” She said tightly.
He blinked.
She sighed. “The shorter one. Naruto-kun.”
He turned the photo back towards himself and stared at it.
“I really don’t see the family resemblance.” He mused, before putting it back on the table. “But then, their mother doesn’t know cats from dogs. Perhaps we are meant to be family friends, being that we both have issues with vision.”
Regina really didn’t know what to say to that, so she misdirected.
“Speaking of family, Dad says this is the new draft for his next book.” She offered up the book, which was little more than a very battered notebook. As far as she was concerned, it was totally illegible. “He wants me to check whether I approve of it, but-”
His hands were raising up towards her. His one eye was wide.
Regina pulled it back protectively to her chest. “It’s very, veeeeryyyy unfortunate, but I can’t read my father’s handwriting.”
Kakashi went rigid.
“If only there was someone I trusted,” she emphasized, looking down at the book in her hands. “Someone who knew me and my sons and their names, who could do a quality control check on this book about my highly dramatized and overly romanticized life.”
A finger twitched a few inches away from her face.
“You don’t know anyone like that, do you, Kakashi-san?” She looked up.
His eye narrowed at her.
They both waited.
“Your sons are Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun, and I definitely know that they’re both nine years old.” He said flatly. “Do you require a dance, as well? Should I entertain you?”
She was taken aback, just a bit.
“Wait, can you dance?” She blurted out, “I had no idea.”
His jaw flexed.
“...Oh, you were being witty and biting.” She looked at the book in her hands again. “Well, just let me know if it’s too weird or embarrassing for me to stand.” Regina held it out. “And please don’t be a jerk about my sons. I don’t like it.”
“Noted, Rejina-san.” He chirped, as the book disappeared from her hands faster than she had any hope of seeing. “I apologize for diminishing Naruto-kun’s considerable artistic talent.”
Then he flopped down on the floor with Jiraiya’s manuscript.
“You’re welcome.” She said, feeling a bit underwhelmed. “I guess I’ll just go back to doing work.”
He hummed.
A few minutes later, the giggling started.
Regina didn’t look.
Comments
Omirao
I love this. Bisuke is awesome
Pcrafter1
I crushed this whole fanfic in a day, it has that same glorious sense of humor as your previous works! It’s fantastic- held my attention like nothing else
