Vaught - Ch 01-03 - WIP

Red Panda Seven

Loved it. Absolutely loved how much I loathed Elizabeth from almost the first moments and how deep it has gotten in the first almost 3 chapters. Just loved it. Notes/Thoughts/Suggestions * PDF Page 16 : Personally, I would have liked the scent/aroma not be linked to Greg until later, just having Liz notice and react without being told it was coming from Greg. As Liz gets closer to Greg to retrieve and return the bourbon glass the aroma is more intense overloading her senses and clouding her mind; Greg in a nonchalant manner "you're just playing the part of the dutiful host" or something. With Liz still trying to figure it out if it is Greg or not. * Page 17 : I would almost have it thrown back to her that it is more her asking HIM to deal with the affairs and never has she really dealt with her husband's multitude of affairs. * Page 27 : I had wanted Abby's upbringing to come out a little where she told Stavos that "real gentlemen would at least set an appointment" or something about thinking she was her most vulnerable but typically when prey was that vulnerable they tended to be their most lethal. Letting her intelligence and calm demeanor be almost as looming as the intruders presence. Abby isn't intimidated by the situation cause she's been dealing with it her entire life. Also Stavos is a win just for his inclusion. *Page 30 : I would be interesting to see Benjamin 'correct' Elizabeth and be "Benjamin Vaught-Nicholson; but the Vaught name seems to be the one that commands people's attentions" to let his arrogance and nature start to peak. *Page 31: I want to think Greg would more smirk at Liz's response like he is in on the inside joke that Abby wasn't going to keep up the theater and Benjamin is shocked that Elizabeth would respond to anything other than her full name. * Either arriving at the Plantation or while Abby whispers into his ear have Greg come to realize all the unused Tobacco drying warehouses would be good to move some of his "Import/Export" business and the area would be better to be operating from than the city. Leaning on Liz/Benny for help acquiring or smoothing ruffled feathers if he and Abby were going to help prop up the family finances.