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Master of Tenevoyles

🕑 Added 2022-07-28 21:40:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

Quixerotic

My walkaway thought was that I hoped it built a mystical enough world to make a spicy finish fun and a little surprising. But, yeah, it was rushed, both the narratively and literally. Over scheduled myself in July and took the wrong prompt for the time I had to write. Should have switched to the HSA one, but I felt pot committed to finish Tenevoyles and then things jammed up even more. Originally, I meant for the story to play out over the spring/summer after Pyotr arrives. He would be betrothed the whole time, but slowly come to understand the village is something other than what he thought. The spirit waited too long to return and problems arise because of that until the big festival that fixes everything with an orgy. About the point where they reach the banquet, I realized that version of the story was going to take *significantly* longer to tell than what I'd allotted in word count, actual writing time, and just the mental space it needed. This concept deserves a second swing in the future.

Red Panda Seven

I read it, sat on it, reread it and sat on it again; finally re-reading it for a 3rd time. The world building is great and feels like a good counter to some of the Milktec hucow stories. The setting and the mythos really come across nicely and it is nice to see a more mythical transformation than the mad scientist twist. With that said, the end comes across as a let down given the fantastic build. I don't know if it is the whiplash of priest-turn-patron or the precession leading up to an orgy but I would liken the end to a pair of teens on prom night about to lose their virginities with all the right build and a night full of sexual tension only to have it ruined by premature ejaculation in less that 5 seconds. Even knowing how the story goes and the build and the ending, I keep coming to either I've just been cock-teased and left with blue balls or I blew my load to early too satisfy where the story was taking me. I think I would have liked it to have ended with the marriage coitus and saved the orgy/wrap up for a second part.


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