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IDWTBTHQ Chapter 131 - Rinse and Repeat
🕑 Added 2022-12-23 23:21:57 +0000 UTCComfortably sitting in his hot pool in Stonebarrow, Marcus idly inspected his chitin-covered toes while his copy-drone walked through the halls of the marquis's palace in Brettholz.
“Hm. The chitin on my limbs is as shiny as ever.” He thought. “I can't say for sure, but I think this is probably a sign of good health for a Vex.” He tried to imagine what it would be like if his chitin went dull and lackluster, and for some reason that made him feel really uncomfortable. “Yeah, it's definitely supposed to be shiny.”
As he considered this matter, his drone finally reached the door of Eisen's study and knocked.
“Marquis?” He made the drone cry. “It's me, Marcus.”
“Come in.” The marquis replied, and so the clone opened the door and stepped in. Rather unusually, Eisen was not at his desk, but rather sitting on one of the sofas near the fireplace, while another sofa was occupied by an old man dressed in black robes.
“Good day, sir Marcus.” The nobleman greeted him. “And thank you for joining us. Please, do take a seat.”
“Good day to you too, marquis.” The Vex Queen replied, making his drone sit. “And to you too, mister...”
“Orr.” The man said with a polite smile on his face. “Magister Lando Orr, at your service. It is an honor to make your acquaintance, sir Marcus.”
“Likewise.” The monster girl replied. Then, after a moment, he asked: “By the way, can I ask what the Magister in your name is? Is it a title or is it part of your name?”
“It's indeed a title.” Orr confirmed. “Magister is the honorific given to those who have earned an academic degree in magic studies.”
“Oh, so you're a sorcerer then?” Marcus asked. The old man certainly looked the part, with his black robes and his stern look. All he missed was a pointy hat and he'd look like a stereotypical evil wizard.
“Well, technically yes.” The Magister nodded. “Though I must admit that the practical application of sorcery is not really my forte. My specialization lies in theoretical research. And speaking of which...” The old man’s eyes suddenly shone with curiosity. “I'd be really interested in studying you Vex, if that’s not a problem. You are a previously unknown species after all, and from what I’ve heard you do possess some rather peculiar powers as well. Who knows what we may learn from studying your magical properties!” He suddenly stopped, looking rather embarrassed for a moment, and then he coughed and added: “Pardon me. I'm afraid that my enthusiasm for the subject got the better of me for a moment.”
“Don't worry, it's fine.” Marcus replied. “We all can get heated when we talk about things we are passionate about.”
“Yes, but that's no excuse to forget my manners.” Orr said. “Anyway, I'd obviously need your permission in order to study you and your species, and it's perfectly fine if you were to refuse.”
“Well, I don't really mind.” Marcus shrugged. “I've already been studied a bit by Hoggs, so it shouldn't be anything new.” He paused and added sardonically: “Of course, that's assuming that you aren't going to cut me up or do other weird things to me, because in that case I'm afraid I must refuse.”
“Oh, don't worry.” The Magister reassured him. “My research will be as non-invasive as possible. And of course, you'll be free to stop me whenever you'd feel uncomfortable.”
“Then it's fine.” The Vex Queen said. “However I am very busy right now, so I'd prefer if you could do your studies at a later date. Maybe two or three months from now.”
“That's not a problem, ma'am.” Orr replied. “We'll do this whenever you please. And thank you in advance for your cooperation and understanding.”
“You're welcome.” Marcus said “And I admit that I hope that I can learn something from this study too. Like how to control my aura, for example. Right now I can't even get near a city, because my aura makes everyone in a few kilometers radius nervous.”
In his own body he let out a sad sigh. He really missed being able to move around as he pleased.
“About that...” The magister said, interrupting his internal lament. “I may have a solution for this problem of yours.”
“Really?” The Vex Queen asked, trying not to be too hopeful. “Can you tell me what it entails?”
“There is a certain magical item from the kingdom’s treasury that has the power to conceal the aura of whoever wears it.” The old man explained. “It was normally used to make the wearer undetectable to magical means, but I think that you could use it to make your presence bearable to those around you.”
“I see.” Marcus made the drone nod. “That seems promising. However, do you think that the king would be willing to sell that talisman to me? Or at least lend it?”
“I very much doubt so.” The Magister shook his head. “The talisman in question is a Relic-grade item, which means that it’s basically a national treasure. It'd take more than just money to convince the king to part with it.”
Orr's voice was serious, but for some reason he had an amused smirk on his face as he spoke, almost as if he was telling a joke. The Vex Queen, however, didn't really understand what was so funny about this situation, and just felt disappointed.
“If that's so, why did you bring this up?” He asked. “I mean, what else but money can I offer to the king in exchange for it?”
“Well, you could save an entire Medelanian city from being conquered by a horde of wild orcs and have its inhabitants eaten alive.” The Magister suggested. “I'm sure that in that case his majesty would be more than happy to give you that talisman as a token of his gratitude.”
For a few moments the Vex Queen just stared at the old man in confusion, until he finally processed what exactly he had said.
“Wait... does that mean that the king would give the talisman to me if I were to ask for it?”
“There is no need for you to ask.” Orr replied in an amused tone. “The king has already decided to give you the amulet as a reward for your service, and he has sent me to bring it to you.”
“Oh.” Marcus muttered, taken completely by surprise. “That’s… really appreciated. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.” The Magister replied. “I’m merely acting as the courier. If you want to thank someone, you should thank King Ballantine.”
“Well, I'm going to thank you anyway for your service.” The Vex Queen replied, trying to make the drone smile brightly with mixed results. He then asked: “Can I see this talisman, by the way?”
“I'm afraid that I don’t have it with me right now.” The old man said in an apologetic tone. “Since it’s a very valuable item, I left it in a magical safe in my carriage for the moment, and I’d need a few minutes to get it out.” He paused and then added: “However, if you are really that curious, I can go fetch it for you.”
“Don't worry.” Marcus made his drone shake its head. “I can wait.”
The drone said these words in the usual deadbeat tone and showed no particular emotion on its face, but in his real body the Vex Queen was beside himself with excitement.
“Finally!” He rejoiced, raising his fist triumphantly in the air. “I was starting to lose hope since my aura training was getting nowhere, but now it seems that I've found a solution! And one I can use immediately to boot, without training for it! No more standing outside of the cities like a freaking hermit while everyone else is inside having fun! Now I'll be able to go to town and have a pint with my friends if I want to! Not that alcohol does anything for me anymore, but it'd be nice to have that option. Also, currently my best friends are Klara and Felix and they are still a bit too young to drink... or are they?” He raised an eyebrow as he considered this matter. “I should definitely ask what the legal drinking age is in this country.”
His musings were interrupted by Orr, who started speaking to him again, forcing him to focus back on the conversation.
“Good.” The old man was saying. “Anyway, do you mind if I drop by your home to give you the talisman either tomorrow or the day after? I'm afraid I really can't stay here any longer than that.”
“Wouldn't it be better if I sent one of my drones to retrieve it right now?” Marcus asked. “It's quite a trek getting here from Brettholz, after all, and I see no reason why you should do it when I have literally hundreds of minions that can do it for you.”
“Thank you for your consideration sir Marcus, but it's probably better if I'm with you when you're going to first test the amulet, just to make sure it works properly.” Orr replied. “Also, the journey to Stonebarrow is not a bother at all for me, since my carriage is really quite fast and comfortable.”
“I see.” The Vex Queen made his drone nod. “In that case you can come whenever you prefer. It's not as if I have anything scheduled for these days.”
“Excellent. Then would it be fine if I were to be at Stonebarrow by tomorrow at noon?”
“Perfectly fine by me.” Marcus confirmed.
“Then we shall see each other tomorrow.”
There was a small silence after that, but before either the Vex Queen or the Magister could add anything the marquis suddenly chimed in.
“Well, isn't that great news, sir Marcus?” He asked, with a warm smile on his face. “If everything goes well, you're finally going to be able to visit cities again.”
“Yes.” Marcus made the drone nod. “I'm actually really happy about it, even if it doesn't really show on my copy here.” He tried to make the drone smile again, and again the results left much to be desired. “Who knows, I might even be able to spend Toathal here in Brettholz with everyone else.”
“Oh sure, you're always welcome in my palace of course.” The nobleman replied cheerfully. “But I'm afraid that I won't be here this Midwinter's Eve. Just this morning I've received an invitation from the king himself to join him in Rennhafen for these festivities.”
“Oh well, I could still stay here with Felix and Klara and celebrate Toathal with them.”
“Actually, I was hoping that you would come with me.” Eisen said. “The invitation was explicitly extended to you in the letter I received. Apparently, the king himself is eager to meet you in person.”
“And he's not the only one.” Orr commented. “After the battle of Treval, pretty much everyone in the kingdom is extremely curious about the Queen of the Vex.”
“Oh.” Marcus mumbled, taken a bit by surprise.
He hesitated for a moment before answering. On one hand, accepting the invite seemed like the most polite option, and he was kinda curious to see the capital after what he had heard about it. But on the other hand, there would certainly be some kind of ceremony involved and he really loathed that kind of formal events. Not to mention that judging by Orr's comment everyone was probably going to stare at him like some kind of exotic animal, a prospect which made his skin crawl. All in all, he would rather quietly spend the holiday in Brettholz with Felix and Klara rather than attending some big fancy banquet in the capital.
However, after a few seconds of careful consideration, he opted for accepting the invite. Participating in this ceremony in the capital would probably be a chore, sure, but it was also an investment for the future. After all, if he wanted to live peacefully in Medelan it wouldn't hurt to cultivate a good relationship with the king, and refusing his invitation for no good reason probably wouldn't be a good start.
“Well, in that case I guess I'll come with you and meet the king.” He said, his slight reluctance luckily concealed by the drone's deadbeat tone.
“Splendid. Thank you sir Marcus.” The marquis nodded approvingly —as did Magister Orr.
“You're welcome.” Marcus replied.
He was about to say something else, when he suddenly felt a presence approaching him from behind. He immediately turned and, right in front of him, he saw a huge humanoid creature covered head to toe in mud walking towards him, all without emitting a single sound.
“What!?” He cried, alarmed. However, before he could do anything, the creature was upon him, hugging him in a painfully tight embrace.
“Boss!” The mud monster cried in a familiar voice. “Why did you leave Tiny alone? Tiny was scared!”
“Tiny! Stop!” Marcus cried, his fear dissipating now that he knew the identity of the creature. “I can’t breathe! Get off m… blub! Glub!” His words were suddenly interrupted when the ogress accidentally pushed his head underwater with her sheer weight.
“Tiny could not find you boss! Tiny was alone and scared! And also hungry!” The ogress kept crying, but at this point the Vex Queen had stopped listening to her, as all of his efforts were focused on trying not to drown. He floundered around wildly, trying and failing to free himself from Tiny's embrace. Then, as his lungs started burning from the lack of oxygen, panic settled in and Marcus decided he had enough.
“LET. GO. OF. ME!”
Tiny trembled when a psychic wave of pure anger hit her. She immediately let go of the Vex Queen, jumping to the other side of the pool and cowering in the water, with her hands over her head in a gesture of surrender.
“Sorry!” She cried. “Tiny is sorry!”
Coughing and gasping for air, Marcus stood up, gratefully breathing the steamy air of the bathhouse. Then, as he regained control of himself, he looked down to see the ogress quivering near him, her eyes wide with fear.
“Tiny is sorry!” She kept pleading with a trembling voice. “Please do not hurt Tiny.”
“I'm not going to hurt you.” The Vex Queen replied, still breathing heavily. “But don't jump me like that ever again. You almost drowned me.”
“Tiny... hurt boss?” The ogress asked in a trembling voice as her eyes went even wider and color drained from her face.
Marcus immediately recognized those as the signs of an impending panic attack, and quickly tried to reassure her, not wanting to risk the ogress having another mental breakdown.
“No! No!” He said. “I... was just inconvenienced! Yes! Not hurt at all!” He paused, thinking that he should at least try to correct Tiny. “Just be more careful next time, okay? Do not jump on me from behind. Even if I’m fine now, I could get hurt if you keep doing it.”
“Yes boss!” Tiny nodded, looking relieved. “Tiny will be more careful! It will not happen again!”
Marcus sighed. Despite sensing nothing but honesty coming from the ogress, he really doubted that she would keep her word. In fact, knowing her thoughtlessness, he'd be surprised if she even remembered making that promise one hour later.
“Good grief she’s a handful.” He thought. “I most likely have a lot of work to do with her before I can trust her to be by themselves for more than a few seconds!”
He paused, realizing what the implications of this meant for his plan to spend Toathal in Rennhafen, and cursed.
“Dammit! Sit still and silent for a second, Tiny. I’ve got something to take care of.”
He then shifted his attention to his copy drone, who had completely stopped moving while he was distracted. He also realized that Eisen and Orr were looking at it with puzzled expressions on their faces.
“Ehm… sir Marcus?” The marquis asked when the drone started moving again. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, I am fine.” The Vex Queen replied. “Sorry, I got distracted for a moment. You could say I had a Tiny problem.”
He attempted to make the drone smile sardonically, but the both men just stared at him in confusion.
“Ehm… I meant that I had a problem with Tiny.” Marcus said, feeling rather awkward at having to explain his joke. “You know, the ogress?”
“Oh right. Your pet ogre.” The marquis nodded. “What did it do?”
“She’s not my pet.” The Vex Queen immediately corrected the nobleman, feeling a bit irritated by the insinuation that he’d keep another sapient being as a pet. However, that wasn’t the time or place for this discussion, so he didn’t insist further. “Anyway, she was just being herself. Annoying, loud, clumsy and with no sense of personal space. She just happened to catch me by surprise this time.” He paused and tried to make his drone make a contrite expression. “And sadly, considering the state she’s in, I don’t think that I can leave her alone, which means I can’t come to Rennhafen with you. I’m sorry.”
“That’s… rather unfortunate.” The nobleman replied, looking worried all of a sudden. “Couldn't you leave her with someone else? If you want, some of my servants could look after her while you're gone.”
“Thank you for your offer, but I don't think Tiny would react well to strangers.” Marcus made his drone shake its head. “I tried to have some of my regular drones to look after her, but sadly she is terrified of them. Hopefully my copy drones will fare better… After all, they do look exactly like me.”
“Right, then why don't you leave one of those with her?” Eisen insisted.
“Well, even if that works, the drone would still have to be within my telepathic range for me to control it.” The Vex Queen replied. “Currently that’s only about twenty five kilometers, which is enough for me to reach Stonebarrow, but not the capital.”
“Ah, that’s right. I forgot about that.” The nobleman nodded, looking rather disappointed.
Then, all of a sudden, Orr chimed in.
“In that case, sir Marcus, couldn't you bring your ogre along for your visit to Rennhafen?” The Magister asked. “You could leave it in your rooms together with one of your doubles while you attend the celebrations in person.”
“Uhm... I don't know if that is a good idea either.” The Vex Queen replied hesitantly. “Tiny is not exactly used to living in a civilized environment. She would almost certainly cause some damage to the room.”
“Oh, I'm sure that won't be a problem.” The old man shrugged. “The king will surely be more than happy to shoulder the cost of repairing a room if it means having you as his guest for this Toathal. As the marquis said, he's really eager to meet you.”
“Well… couldn’t he wait a few more months though?” Marcus asked, starting to get a bit suspicious because of all that insistence. “By then I should have been able to teach Tiny some manners. I mean, what’s the hurry?”
The old man didn’t reply right away. Instead, he made a thoughtful expression and remained silent for a few seconds.
“If you really want to know, I might have an answer.” He then said. “It’s only my guess, mind you, but I think that the king would like to have you, one of the saviors of Treval, attend his Midwinter ceremony while the memory of your exploits is still fresh in everyone’s memory. That way, he would gain a lot of prestige, much more than if you were to meet him later, I think.”
“Ah.” The Vex Queen said, finally understanding what all the fuss was about. “I see. So it’s for political reasons then.”
“You could say so, yes.” Orr confirmed.
“Well, personally I don’t like politics.” Marcus commented. “But I guess I can make a sacrifice every now and then, as long as all I have to do is just to show myself and smile a bit. Just don’t expect me to make some kind of speech or something, because I’m not good at those things.”
“Don’t worry.” Orr nodded. “I’m sure the king will keep your involvement to a minimum. You showing up should be more than enough.”
“Good. Oh, and I take no responsibility for what Tiny is going to do to her room.” The Vex Queen added. “If the king wants me to go to Rennhafen before I can finish teaching her how to live in civilization, then he should be the one that foots the bills.”
“That’s perfectly fair, ma’am.” The magister nodded again. “I’m sure the king will be happy to pay for whatever you need during your sojourn in Rennhafen.”
“Yeah, that’s probably true.” Marcus thought. “He probably has more money than he can count, since he’s the king and all, so whatever sum I might cost him it should be pocket money for his standards.” He smirked. “He’d probably change his mind if he was the one that had to clean the bathroom after Tiny used it.” He shuddered. “I’m really glad that I can have my drones do that for me.”
After that, the conversation in the marquis’s study continued for a while, but it mostly consisted of small talk that the drone could easily follow without the Vex Queen’s full attention. Meanwhile, he could do something else, like for example getting Tiny cleaned up before they went back to their home.
“Alright Tiny. I’m going to wash you now, so keep standing still until I’m done, alright? And no eating the soap this time. As I told you, just because it smells nice doesn’t mean it’s for eating.”
“Ok boss.” The ogress nodded, and she obediently sat down in the water while the Vex Queen grabbed a sponge and a piece of soap from an alcove near the pool.
Marcus then started scrubbing away the mud from Tiny’s body, only marginally aware of the fact that he was touching a naked woman. But he had gotten used to it, and besides thinking of the ogress in anything even remotely related to sexuality was enough to disgust him, especially since he knew what she had gotten through during her time with the Blue Terror. Instead, he tried to make some conversation to fill the silence.
“Good heavens Tiny, how did you even get this dirty?” He asked as he scrubbed the ogress’s back. “There is no mud to be found in Stonebarrow! The ground it’s covered either in snow or mold-wax.”
“Tiny can't remember.” She replied. “Tiny was trying to find boss. Tiny did not pay attention to where Tiny go.”
“Alright. I didn’t know why I expected any other answer.” Marcus sighed with resignation. “Honestly I wonder how you remember your own name.”
“Because it is Tiny’s name.” The ogress promptly replied. “Tiny is Tiny. How could Tiny forget that?”
“Seems about right.” The Vex Queen commented drily. Tiny didn’t really get rhetorical questions.
“Tiny is Tiny. And boss is boss! Tiny remembers this very well!” She prattled, but then she paused as a rumbling sound came from her stomach. “Oh, and Tiny also remembers that Tiny is hungry! Can Boss give Tiny meat?”
“Sure. Just let me finish washing you, and we’ll go get you breakfast.” Marcus replied.
“Good!” Tiny immediately cheered up. “Tiny likes breakfast!”
She remained silent for a few moments, as the Vex Queen kept washing her, but then she asked, her voice filled with anticipation:
“Is boss done now? Can we go? Tiny is hungry!”
“No Tiny.” Marcus sighed. “I’ll be done when you are clean.”
“Oh good.” She nodded. However, not even ten seconds later, she turned to speak again. “Is Tiny clean now?”
“No. I’ll tell you when you are clean. Now stop asking and let me wash you!” The Vex Queen said, his voice growing more and more annoyed.
“Ok.” The ogress cheerfully replied. “Tiny will stop asking then.”
From her mind and words, Marcus couldn’t feel even the slightest hint of insincerity. She clearly intended to keep her word, and to her credit she did stay still for a full minute. However, she then turned around, looked at the Vex Queen in the eyes and asked, seemingly completely oblivious about her previous promise:
“Tiny is hungry. Can boss feed Tiny?”
It took all of Marcus’s willpower to keep himself from screaming, but sadly doing so would likely give Tiny another panic attack, thus solving nothing and giving him yet another problem to deal with. So he swallowed his frustration and kept washing the ogress.
“Just a second Tiny.” He hissed through his teeth. “I’ll just wash out the soap and then we can go!”
“Let’s hope that this talisman thingy that the old man is bringing me works.” He thought with fervor, as he hurried to finish cleaning the ogress. “I really, really, really need a vacation soon, because if I have to endure this much longer I’m definitely going to go insane!”
Comments
Nilbog
A decent chapter but such long gaps between chapters really creates the illusion that nothing happens because it's impossible for enough to happen in one chapter for it to feel significant especially after weeks of hype.
ZCochraine!%
Yeah, this is the difficulty of taking care of the disabled, both mentally and physically. But At least Marcus and co get to go be a t a big event, see the sights and meet the king.
