tegerio
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Well, my dears?
🕑 Added 2023-05-18 01:56:34 +0000 UTCHave you come to any conclusions? Have you guessed how I solved this problem? Oh, well, I don't blame you for not wanting to commit to any definite theory. I am quite unpredictable. What's that? No, no coffee for me, thanks. I'll sip this refreshing '78 Chateau Winterbough and continue with my story.
I had two days before the trial. Would that be enough time? My goals were clear: Save Oonagh and (if possible) Didelphis, and discredit the rabbits' leader.
"Rebecca," I demanded, "what do you know about Parson?"
"That would be THE Parson," Rebecca explained. "Reverend Horace O'Hoppity is the leader of the First Church of Bunkirk. He's a fiery minister, full of the Spirit of the Cosmic Ram to spread the Word of the Blessed Baby Bunny."
"A priest, eh? Well then, he has an exploitable weakness. We just have to figure out where he keeps his concubine, and once we have her, then we can easily control him."
"Oh no, my Lord," Rebecca shook her head. "Parson O'Hoppity is morally upstanding."
"That complicates things," I admitted. "We'll have to find two concubines, maybe more."
"No, my Lord, no concubines at all."
"WHAT? You just said he was morally upstanding!"
"He is! That means he keeps a tight rein on his, uh, venery. He has to. Everyone in Bunkirk is under constant scrutiny from everyone else in Bunkirk, especially the Parson."
"Reverend O'Hoppity would never make it as a Mephitist," I observed. "No wonder you rebelled against this insane rabbit religion. Fuma wants us all to love one another."
"The Blessed Baby Bunny commands that too," Rebecca elaborated. "Just not in that way."
"I don't like the fact that he doesn't care if Didelphis's story is true and is just exploiting the situation for personal gain," I mused. "Sending someone posing as the old crone would be extremely risky if O'Hoppity is part of the equation. We have to eliminate him, either by destroying his credibility, or ..." I trailed off, thinking.
"I could go assassinate him," Burnside offered. "Real quick and quiet-like. Shoot, I can even make it look like an accident."
"That's at least a better suggestion than before," I replied, "but it would look suspicious if the main accuser turns up dead the day before the trial. The mob has been primed to believe in witchcraft, so even if it looks like an accident, they would probably see that as proof of Oonagh's guilt."
"I can just fillet anybody that says so," Burnside insisted.
"No," I refused. "Stand down. I have a better idea, a more subtle idea. Rebecca, you say the Parson is 'morally upstanding' but I say that means he is in the grip of a sickness. Suppressing one's natural urges is bad for you; it causes the sufferer to act out in Unseelie ways. The history of Faerie is littered with heretical sects that proved this theory time and time again. Reverend O'Hoppity has a dark secret. You can be sure of that. We just need to find out what it is. IXIE! I need more information on the rabbit Parson, and I need it fast. Find out exactly what his motive is. What does he stand to gain? And find out what he's hiding. He has to have a weakness."
"I already have Ixies on it, Sire," she replied with a crisp salute.
"Excellent," I grinned. "You are dismissed."
"The Parson is fond of food," Rebecca blurted out suddenly. "He can't resist homemade pies baked by any of the church femmes."
"That could be useful," I nodded thoughtfully. "Now then, it is very brave and noble of you to volunteer for a deep cover mission, but there is a problem: Telling untruths is .. let's say .. unhealthy for an elf."
"Huh?" the other witches interjected. "Are you saying Rebecca's an elf??"
"It's highly probable," I explained. "This was a recent development that we are still investigating, but I feel reasonably sure that Rebecca is a Changeling. This will not interrupt your training, and may even make it easier. For now, let's stay on track. The situation in town may be too volatile to save Didelphis. I'm not sure sending an impostor would work. I think the most effective solution now would be my initial plan of removing Didelphis's transmogrification and restoring her to old cronedom ... but it would have to be done at the precisely right moment, and I cannot think of a way to monitor the courtroom from here. Relaying information by Ixie is fast, but not instantaneous."
"If only I had the mate to this," I muttered, pulling Ash's communication device out of my Elfintory. "Then someone could relay information to me about the trial while it was happening."
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Comments
>Rebecca: Didn't that used to be a Tumbler and not a tin can? >Adler: What's she talking about? It is a tumbler, has a handle and everything. See? >Rebecca: Oh. You're mistake. >Adler: Anyway. You need the full set. Maybe you'd be able to apport this one's mate from Ash like you did his scrying orbs. How did you do that? You where trying to impress Vernier and you did it entirely without thinking. Is that the secret to your scion powers? Never thinking about anything? >Burnside: If the secret to success was never thinking, he'd already be emperor by now. Ha! You break into helpless laughter. >Adler: "Quiet you." Hmmm. Ash was pleased that you managed to steal the orbs from him, but this just might make him mad. He's willing enough to stab you in the back when he's in a good mood, think of what he'd do if he was angry. Also, like it or not, he is technically working for you and it would be necessary to have an easy method of contact with him. If for no other reason than to reprimand him when he inevitably does something horrendously unseelie that you don't approve of. >Rebecca: Can't Adler just make a new set of Talk-O-Tumblers? >Adler: What-O-what now? >Rebecca: Talk-O-Tumblers. That's what you used to call them when you where a child. Hey! If these are a new invention for elves, that's what you should all name them! >Adler: Ummm... >Petunia: Maybe workshop the name a little... >Rebecca: Well, can't Adler just make a new set? They're made out of everyday household items with what you assume to be a bit of magic splashed on. >Adler: You know, you probably can. Start apporting materials from the surrounding forest and transmogrifying them into the needed materials. It will keep you productive while your ixies gather intel.
Eric Costello
Just remembered the recipe for hash pie that could be used. The Ixies probably know it, as it was created by Alice Toklas Bee.
