bethofthewild
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New chapter of streamer
🕑 Added 2022-02-11 23:58:53 +0000 UTCHunter nervously glanced around the spacious food court–or as the mall called it, the “dining terrace”–trying to spot Mel. Her short, punkish hair was relatively distinctive, and yet he still wasn’t seeing her.
Did I get the time wrong? Did she realize I’m lame and decide to bail? Am I–
His negative thoughts were interrupted by a buzz from his phone.
melsalvia: sorry running a little late!
melsalvia: looking for parking now
melsalvia: be there in like ten minutes
BigGoron5: Okay. Hopefully you’re not texting me while driving lol
melsalvia: nah I’m stuck behind a someone who’s TERRIBLE at parking
melsalvia: you know how sometimes you go in at a bad angle and then it takes forever making small adjustments to fit in the spot?
melsalvia: oh shit they did it, pog
melsalvia: see u in a mo!
Now that he knew she was near, Hunter pulled up the selfie camera on his phone to make sure he looked at least slightly presentable. He wasn’t really sure what kind of clothes they’d be looking at, or if stores would be okay with a guy who wanted to try on women’s clothes, so just to be safe he’d aimed for androgynous. A relatively natural lipstick color and a little bit of mascara and eyeliner. Nothing he couldn’t play off as being a slightly alt guy if the need arose. The same went for his clothing–a slightly fitted tank top and black skinny jeans. He patted at his hair, wishing bits of it wouldn’t decide to stick up at random. Maybe growing it out would help with that.
Satisfied enough with what he saw, he raised his eyes from his phone to see Mel waving at him from across the terrace. He hurried over to go meet her. She was looking cute today, as usual.
“Hey!” she said as they almost collided, wrapping him in a brief, tight hug. “Parking ended up being faster than I thought. Got lucky with someone leaving. Uh, any preference on where we get lunch?”
Hunter shrugged. “I’m fine with whatever.”
“God, this is always what happens when I eat out with friends,” Mel said, and laughed. “I guess that’s what I get for knowing so many bottoms.”
Hunter let out an awkward laugh. “Sorry, sorry. I can pick something if you want. I just don’t really have a strong preference.”
“No, it’s fine! I’m just also fine with whatever so I don’t know how we’re gonna choose. Uh, how’s Indian sound?”
“Sounds good to me,” Hunter said.
“Alright. Let’s go!”
After staring at the menu signs up behind the counter, the two of them approached the register. An employee saw them approaching and perked up.
“Hi! What can I get you ladies today?”
Hunter was rendered speechless. Mel stepped up and ordered for both of them. “Hi! Could we get, uh, a chicken tikka masala frankie and a paneer frankie? For here.”
“Alright! Anything else I can get you?”
“Uh, yeah, I’ll get an oat milk chai. Hunter, you want anything to drink?”
Hunter.exe finally started running again. “Oh, uh. A mango lassi?”
“Alright, and one mango lassi. Your total is…”
Hunter’s legs were feeling a bit unsteady. He decided to go claim a table while Mel finished up at the counter. A moment later, Mel joined him.
“Oh! Wait, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you pay for both of us. Do you want me to, like, Venmo you?”
Mel shook her head. “It’s fine, dude. No worries. You can repay me when you make it big as a streamer. No, I’m kidding, don’t even worry about repaying me. I can afford like fifteen dollars.”
“Okay. Sorry about that. I just needed to sit down for a moment.”
“Understandable.” Mel leaned in closer and quietly said, “Is that the first time you’ve been ma’amed outside of a stream?”
“Uh… yeah, I think so.”
“How did it make you feel?”
Hunter paused for a moment to consider. “Confused? But not, like, bad. I guess I don’t understand how someone could look at me right now and see a girl. It’s kind of disorienting. But it also almost feels like a compliment, if that makes sense? Like, girls are cute, and I don’t think of myself as being cute, but if I look like a girl, maybe I am? I don’t know. Sorry, I’m probably not making sense.”
“No, you’re making perfect sense to me. I guess I just wanted to check in with you. If you’re feeling too overwhelmed we don’t have to go shopping. We can just, like, chill, or if you want to go home I understand.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I’m okay now, I think. I just felt sort of like–like the ground fell out from under my feet for a little, you know? I guess I’m used to thinking of gender as this big, insurmountable, fact about the world that I don’t have any control over and it’s weird to suddenly realize how vague or arbitrary or malleable it is. Or people’s perception of it, anyway. I’m not saying I changed gender or anything. Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that. I don’t want to claim to be trans when I’m not or anything.”
Mel gently patted Hunter on the shoulder. “My advice? No thoughts, only vibes?”
“Huh?”
“I mean–look, I think it’s very easy to spend a whole lot of time thinking about how weird gender is. I’ve been there for sure. But when it comes to yourself and your life, I think overanalyzing stuff isn’t really productive. Sometimes you just gotta try things and see what feels right, y’know?”
“See what feels right… Huh. That’s really different from how I’m used to thinking of things, I think. I always feel like I need a good reason to do stuff. A solid justification.”
“I think having a better time in life or being more okay in your own skin is a pretty good reason to make changes. But also I’m, like, a gay mess so maybe I shouldn’t be giving other people life advice.”
“No! I mean, I feel like you’re so put together compared to me. You know who you are. Some days I get up and look in the mirror and I’m like ‘Who is that?’”
While saying this, Hunter made a mental note. Of course she’s gay. Look at her hair. God, I’m so dumb. I almost convinced myself that she was into me.
“Well, hopefully you can figure out who Hunter is. Maybe this trip will help! Who knows, right?”
“Yeah,” Hunter said. “I sure don’t.”
